The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

[Mountkeen]

From Private Eye

 

[mikew]

 

[Marc]

 

[Cobra]

I'm guessing "fake" but I'm also guessing they could be on to a winner with this

 

[kennethwfd]

Wait for it.....
Cannibals capture a couple of missionaries and stew them.
All the tribe claim the meal is totally inedible
So what denomination were the missionaries? - Francescans
Well, there you are, you should never stew Francescans - they're friairs

 

[Cobra]

Oh Groan!











Although I can help with that last one

 

[Mountkeen]

 

[Graham]

I'm guessing "fake" but I'm also guessing they could be on to a winner with this

View attachment 133757

I'm guessing "fake" but I'm also guessing they could be on to a winner with this

View attachment 133757

I wonder what the 2 lines are above and below the P, could be min and max depth lol

 

[Cobra]

I wonder what the 2 lines are above and below the P, could be min and max depth lol

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[mikew]

 

[Mag1cp2x]

I made a Belgian waffle this morning.





This afternoon I made a Frenchman talk b*ll*cks.

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Cobra]

 

[Doc]

 

[kennethwfd]

Want a mirrorless camera? try this

https://www.photographytalk.com/pho...a-mirrorless-camera-you-can-make-one-yourself

 

[Cobra]

 

[Gremlin]

 

[the black fox]

View attachment 134020

You found grandads stock of absinthe again ingrid

 

[DavieW]

 

[Cobra]

 

[kendo1]

Hippopotami...

 

[Cobra]

Hippopotami...

I think they missed out the "a" otherwise it would say Hippopotamus's

 

[Cobra]

 

[Mag1cp2x]

I think they missed out the "a" otherwise it would say Hippopotamus's

Singularly it would be an hippopotamus.
Something belonging to an hippopotamus would be hippopotamus'.
(I'm now off to get a life )

 

[Steep]

I went to a postman's birthday party yesterday.
We played pass the sorry you were out card.

 

[mikew]

 

[Cobra]

Singularly it would be an hippopotamus.

The jury is still very much on on that it would seem.
after all is it an Horse an hamster an hedgehog an Hyena? ..
The only anomaly that I'm aware of would be the non living An hotel.

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Cobra]

View attachment 134113

August 24th

View attachment 133020

 

[Gremlin]

Makes up for the all the times you copy mine

 

[Gremlin]

 

[Brendan Mulachy]

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued.
After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun."

So they went back to her place and got comfortable.
After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.

Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand."

Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Okay."
He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before.

Then Sean says, 'Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......."

"I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun."

Cilla complies with the routine.

The results this time are absolutely mind blowing.
Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks. "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?"

Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bitch stole ma wallet."

 

[Cobra]

 

[Steep]

 

[Cobra]

View attachment 134226

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