The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

I get my car back today with it's new, very expensive engine, just as the turbo has possibly gone on the Mazda 6

wife2cars.jpg
 
In a recent poll of over 1,000 American conservative Christians. The question asked was "What would you do if you discovered that your child was a homo sapiens?"

55% said they would disown them.
 
I went to see a local magician last night.

He opened the show by loudly proclaiming, "UNO!... DOS!..."

And then he disappeared without a tres.
 
And reappeared as Gene Hunt?
 
Feeling tired and stressed? Then relax with the Dalek Relaxation Tape
 
For thousands of years humanity was just going about its business, then suddenly someone was like, "wait wtf? How does any of this s*** even work?"
And thus philosophy was invented.
 
As my signature says, "Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum" or in the original language "Je pense que je pense donc je pense que je suis"! (Wish I could remember where I saw the corruption!)
 
Nod said:
As my signature says, "Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum" or in the original language "Je pense que je pense donc je pense que je suis"! (Wish I could remember where I saw the corruption!)
Click to expand...
While I can read both Latin and French, I still can't get this one... What am I missing?
 
I think, I think therefore I am.
 
Nod said:
As my signature says, "Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum" or in the original language "Je pense que je pense donc je pense que je suis"! (Wish I could remember where I saw the corruption!)
Click to expand...

Is it a joke? or is someone saying "look how intelligent I am I can put up posts that no one understands"
 
Quoth said:
While I can read both Latin and French, I still can't get this one... What am I missing?
Click to expand...
I think I think therefore I think I am.
 
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I think I think, therefore I am.

I think I thunk once, but then the cat I might not actually have possibly needed feeding because the doorbell rang. :confused:
 
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I'm pink, therefore I'm spam.
 
munch said:
Is it a joke? or is someone saying "look how intelligent I am I can put up posts that no one understands"
Click to expand...

Just be happy you learned something today.
 
I thought I saw a pussy tat
 
Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch.
First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows."
Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows."
Third Bull: "I've only been here a year, and so far, you guys have only let me have 10 cows. I may not be as big as you fellows, but I'm keeping all 10 of my cows."
Just then an 18-wheeler pulls up in the pasture carrying the biggest bull they've ever seen. At 4,700 pounds, each step he takes strains the steel ramp.
First Bull: "I think I can spare a few cows for our new friend."
Second Bull: "I actually have too many cows to take care of. I can spare a few. I'm certainly not looking for an argument."
They look over at the third bull and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns and snorting.
First Bull: "Son, don't be foolish -- let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it."
Third Bull: "Hell, he can have all my cows. I'm just making sure he knows I'm a bull."
 
31776158_400482643760218_9026901953354924032_o.jpg
 
Didn't Socrates (Dude...) dictate it to Plato?
 
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