The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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After Quasimodo's death, the Archbishop of Paris at the Cathedral of
Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell
ringer was needed.

The Archbishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally
and went up into the belfry to begin what he thought would be a long
screening process.

After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had
decided to call it a day and would offer prayers for more success the
next day.

Just then, an armless man approached him and falling flat on his face
announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The
bishop was incredulous.

'But man you have no arms !'

'No matter,' said the man. 'Observe my technique!'

And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful
melody on the massive carillon.
The Archbishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found
a replacement for Quasimodo.

But suddenly, as he rushed forward to strike the final bell, the
armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to
his death in the street below.

The stunned Archbishop rushed down the two hundred and ninety five
steps of the bell tower. When he reached the street, a crowd had
gathered around the disfigured fallen figure. They had been drawn to
the Cathedral, by the beautiful music they had heard only moment
before from the melodious bells.

They silently parted to let the Archbishop through and one of them
asked,

'Archbishop, who was this man ?'..

'I don't know his name,' the bishop sadly replied,

' BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL'

WAIT ! WAIT ! There's more

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his
heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the
Archbishop continued his interviews for the new bell ringer of Notre
Dame Cathedral.

The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother
of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry
yesterday.

I pray that you honour his life by allowing me to replace him in this
duty.'

The Archbishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless
man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he
groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died before he hit
the floor.

Two monks who were saying their Mattins, hearing the Archbishop's cries
of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

'What has happened ? Who is this man ?' the first monk asked
breathlessly.

'I don't know his name,' sighed the distraught bishop, 'but....'

Scroll down if you dare!!!!!!!!

'HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER.'
 
StewartR said:
Not at all. A true OCD sufferer would know that the only correct solution is to fill the tank to the brim. Both of the alternatives presented here are arbitrary and, therefore, unsatisfactory.
Click to expand...
My OCD dad would definitely have gone to $40.00 and very much appreciated the 10.001gallon palindrome
 
Perhaps its International men's day after all?

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FTFAGOS!!!
 
Arnie, Stallone and Dolph are lounging around the pool thinking of a new movie genre when the idea of a movie series based on classical musicians came to the fore.

They got the plot, characters and music down on paper but couldn't decide on who would play which character.
Well I like Moonlight Sonata, so i'll be Beethoven announces Sly..Lundgren says he loves Requiem, so will play Mozart...

Arnie ponders a while and then proclaims 'I love air', ...so...' I'll be Bach ! '....
 
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