The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Graham said:
They dont have BBC1 in France..... They have TF1 lol
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You can still get BBC1 in France, but perhaps only on cable/satellite?
I only know this because we were in Paris and managed to watch Strictly. Well, Mrs Llama did - I had a nap.
 
This is the story of the poor dizzy blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead.
And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:...
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.

'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."
She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "Repeat after me........Our Father who art in Heaven.......
 
Llamaman said:
You can still get BBC1 in France, but perhaps only on cable/satellite?
I only know this because we were in Paris and managed to watch Strictly. Well, Mrs Llama did - I had a nap.
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Must have been sky.
I nearly got attacked by a lama the other week, got out of the car to photograph some in a paddock and I saw something out of the corner of my eye, I guess it was a male lama, he'd escaped and ran for us, I'm 53 and I ain't ran that fast in a few years lol
Sorry I saw your name and it reminded me lol
 
I've just read a report that cardboard packaging made from recycled newspaper print can cause cancer.
I'm really worried now as for many years, I've been buying my cigarettes packed in this stuff.
 
andyred said:
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It reminds me of this ...

A father tells his son it's time he learned about the birds and the bees.
Upon hearing this, the son freaks out. The father looks on in puzzlement at his son's emotional metldown.

"What the heck's the matter with you?" he asks.

"Dad, when I was 8, you said we had to have a talk about the Tooth Fairy, and you told me she wasn't real. A little part of me died.
A few months later, you said we had to talk about the Easter Bunny, and another part of my childhood was gone forever.
Later that same year, we had the Santa Claus talk, and I never really recovered.
And now, the birds and the bees. I swear, if you tell me grown-ups don't shag, there is no point in going on!
 
Taking the kids to a panto this year?
Double check your tickets :thumbs:

DonI.jpg
 
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