The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Has anyone noticed since the jokes and meme thread was merged, the jokes now appear as memes? i.e. what is basically a text joke has to be put into a jpg with a pretty background. Weird.

It makes me so angry I want to go out and do judo moves on fat people. But then I think, there's no point throwing a wobbly.
 
DorsetDude said:
Has anyone noticed since the jokes and meme thread was merged, the jokes now appear as memes? i.e. what is basically a text joke has to be put into a jpg with a pretty background. Weird.
Click to expand...
Isn't that what a meme is? A joke in a jpeg.

Anyway, is it time for the sad news of the death of the person who invented predictive text again yet?
 
I won't tag @Cg_Girl this time..........................ooops I just have :LOL:


13627090_1025439194218971_1481661792944328024_n.jpg
 
Cg_Girl said:
Oh that's just bloody charming, you get a nice comment on your photos and I'm repaid with a spider??!! Lol :p
Click to expand...


Aww you know I like you really :D
 
Sorry, Ingrid - had to like T.'s linked clip!
 
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And, B-U-L-L-S-*-*-T 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far a** kissing will take you:
A-*-*-K-I-S-S-I-N-G 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bulls*** and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.
 
13876186_631699006993574_8722276507950217950_n.jpg
 
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"

Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."

A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"

With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"

Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
 
Mag1cp2x said:
There could only be one thing worse than Hilary Clinton winning the election and becoming President of the USA - and that is Hilary Clinton not winning the election ...
Click to expand...

That's no joke it's just to scary. Three hundred million people and those two float to the top, the worlds going mad.

And yes I know what else floats. :)
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top