The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

I hate that I'm such a girly about them so yes it makes me feel loads better thank you :D

I used to be, but living on your own means you have to deal with them, plus macro photography helped.
Thankfully I don't seem to get many here, well not that I've seen
 
Thankfully I don't seem to get many here, well not that I've seen
It's the iddy biddy ones that you can't see that you have to be careful of :D
 
It's the iddy biddy ones that you can't see that you have to be careful of :D

Chilean Rose you mean ? Sure as hell don't get money spiders :(
@Cg_Girl I do have a picture of me holding one if you want to see, they are only ickle, honest :D
 
I used to be, but living on your own means you have to deal with them, plus macro photography helped.
Thankfully I don't seem to get many here, well not that I've seen

Well there are times I do have to deal with them if my daughter isn't around :D
Chilean Rose you mean ? Sure as hell don't get money spiders :(
@Cg_Girl I do have a picture of me holding one if you want to see, they are only ickle, honest :D

Why don't I believe you!!
 
Well there are times I do have to deal with them if my daughter isn't around :D


Why don't I believe you!!

Cos you want to see the picture, dunno which is more scary though, me or the ickle spider :thinking::help:
 
Sent to me by a friend who suffers from Tourette's ..................

I added the Gaussian blur;)

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To be fair this could apply to any of our illustrious politicians

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BBC reports Germany haven't conceded a major tournament goal for 480 minutes.

That's nothing, Scotland haven't conceded one since 1998.
 
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Another spot the deliberate mistake...

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Another spot the deliberate mistake...
They cut the top of her head off in that what is the world coming to? Eh?
 
From the BBC. They don't approve of lesbians apparently :)
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Politics!!

Politics is the gentle art of getting votes
from the poor and campaign funds from the rich,
by promising to protect each from the other.
~Oscar Am ringer, "the Mark Twain of American Socialism."

I offered my opponents a deal:
"if they stop telling lies about me,
I will stop telling the truth about them".
~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952..

A politician is a fellow who will lay down
your life for his country.
~Texas Guinan. 19th century American businessman


I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
~Charles de Gaulle, French general & politician

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city,
it might be better to change the locks.
~Doug Larson (English middle-distance runner who won gold medals at the 1924 Olympic Games in Paris, 1902-1981)

We hang petty thieves and appoint the bigger thieves to public office.
~Aesop, Greek slave & fable author

Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.
~Plato, ancient Greek Philosopher

Politicians are the same all over.
They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.
~Nikita Khrushchev, Russian Soviet politician

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become PM; I'm beginning to believe it.
~Quoted in 'Clarence Darrow for the Defense' by Irving Stone.

Politicians are people who,
when they see light at the end of the tunnel,
go out and buy some more tunnel.
~John Quinton, American actor/writer
 
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.
-Groucho Marx
 
The last man to enter Westminster with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes in 1605
(anon)
 
Driving at about 120MPH this morning, straight into the Sun, I clipped a tree and went flying over the hedge into the field beyond.
























Luckily, I had a provisional ball in my pocket so just teeed it up and started my round again!
 
I knew I shouldn't have lost my temper on the Lego forum. They've blocked me!
 
No Santa
No tooth fairy
no Easter bunny
Now this!
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My whole childhood was a lie :(
 
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