The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Someone told me it was a bad idea to take the rear view mirror out the car , but never looked back since.
 
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I use to own a BMW until the Indicator stalk broke.:woot:
 
Alan Clogwyn said:
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I don't know the exact figures, but I think the players donate what they get for international games to charities .... so at least someone is profiting from their efforts.
 
Something like that .:).....but couldn't remember as it's a 70's joke anyway :)
 
n0chex said:
Mate had his first s*** at work.... The passengers on his bus weren’t happy
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My grand-dad died peacefully in his sleep ........... his passengers weren't too happy though.
 
n0chex said:
I use to own a BMW until the Indicator stalk broke.:woot:
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They were saying on the radio the other day, indicator bulbs are a [PLEASE DON'T TRY TO BYPASS THE SWEAR FILTER] to replace on a BWM,
That's why they never use it, so the bulbs don't wear out ... :thumbs:
 
Cobra said:
They were saying on the radio the other day, indicator bulbs are a b*****d to replace on a BWM,
That's why they never use it, so the bulbs don't wear out ... (y)
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Never heard of a "BWM" :)
 
Bobby Charlton was asked how he thought the England team of '66 would have fared against Iceland. " I think we'd have won 1-0 " he replied. "Only 1-0?" Said the reporter. "Yes," said Bobby. "Most of us are in our 70's now!"
 
Here's the biggest joke ......................wages.jpg
 
Scotland and Ireland have agreed to create the Federation of Euro Celtic Republics.- FECRS
 
Steep said:
Scotland and Ireland have agreed to create the Federation of Euro Celtic Republics.- FECRS
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What about Wales, Cornwall and Brittany? Can we join as well, please?
 
Sure, then we could have a real bunch of FECRs :)
 
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heyguys.jpg
 
One day, a shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he> heard that the Pope was on the same flight.>
"This is exciting," thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big
fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person."
Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope
himself. Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to His Holiness.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope took a crossword puzzle out of his
carry-on bag and began pencilling in the answers.
"This is fantastic!" the gentleman mused. "I'm really good at
crosswords. It crossed his mind that if the Pope got stuck, He'd ask
me for assistance."
Almost as if providence struck, the Pope turned to the man and said,
"Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman
that ends in 'unt'? The three Cardinals behind, in front of and
beside him shrunk down in their seats, as far as possible, all
looking for something on the floor.
The man was in morbid shock. He couldn't breathe. He went within
himself, thought deeper, longer for a plausible answer and after
almost a minute, the dark clouds of evil parted in his mind and the
sun shone in.
Turning to the Pope, the gentleman said, with reverence and
politeness, " l believe, Your Holiness that you're looking for the
word, ' aunt ' "

"Of course!" the Pope declared, ...."Do you have an eraser?"
 
Cg_Girl said:
Ha bloody ha @Gremlin.. I expect plenty on my grave thank you muchly! :p
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Don't feel bad T I was working in a dusty warehouse earlier today, and a guy working near me, suddenly squeeled like a little girl.
On enquiring what his dilemma was, it seems that a spider had fallen from space and landed on his arm..
Bearing in mind this guy is over 6 feet tall and built like a brick out house :D

I've always maintained that just as many, if not more guys, than women, are scared of spiders..
 
Cobra said:
Don't feel bad T I was working in a dusty warehouse earlier today, and a guy working near me, suddenly squeeled like a little girl.
On enquiring what his dilemma was, it seems that a spider had fallen from space and landed on his arm..
Bearing in mind this guy is over 6 feet tall and built like a brick out house :D

I've always maintained that just as many, if not more guys, than women, are scared of spiders..
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I hate that I'm such a girly about them so yes it makes me feel loads better thank you :D
 
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