OP
- Messages
- 114,434
- Name
- The real Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
I've never needed to look TBHDoes it stop them dropping off too
and the site receives a small commission
The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )
- Thread starter Cobra
- Start date
OP
- Messages
- 114,434
- Name
- The real Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
Eyefull yes, Tower? nope can't see it
Doc
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 1,233
- Edit My Images
- No
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, " What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing!She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. "
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel! " Second Guy " You're lucky, mine's still alive. "
Sacha Guitry
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, " What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing!She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henry Youngman
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. "
Sam Kinison
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming.1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel! " Second Guy " You're lucky, mine's still alive. "
you really are a Gremlin aren't you 
Earley Man
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 1,536
- Name
- Christopher
- Edit My Images
- Yes
- Messages
- 17,791
- Name
- Ingrid
- Edit My Images
- No
- Messages
- 17,791
- Name
- Ingrid
- Edit My Images
- No
- Messages
- 7,018
- Name
- Keith
- Edit My Images
- Yes
I thought I saw a kangaroo in my neighbour's garden earlier. Turned out he's just got a greyhound and it was having a a sh*t.
admirable
Suspended / Banned
- Messages
- 11,612
- Name
- Jim
- Edit My Images
- Yes
Dan was a single man living at home with his father, and working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."
Impressed, the woman asked for his business card.
Three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
- Messages
- 49,339
- Name
- Nod (UK)
- Edit My Images
- Yes
That's child abuse leaving a baby in a nappy that soiled!!!
OP
- Messages
- 114,434
- Name
- The real Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
That was bad really really bad
( and I'm also embarrassed to admit I know what that means
)
OP
- Messages
- 114,434
- Name
- The real Chris
- Edit My Images
- No
You must have scared the crap out of it, either in this world or the dream world!Nothing here cos I don't have stairs
