The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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You'll get chucked off the plane for that!
 
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My wife and I walked past a fancy restaurant.

She said "Ohh , something smells nice"

So I decided to treat her - I let her walk past it a second time.
 
A blonde girl wants to tell her two horses apart. She is quite distressed about this so she asks the farmer.

The farmer next door says "Why not cut ones tail off".

So she does that. The next day the other horse gets its tail cut on barbed wire and it tears off in the same place.
The blonde is still distressed and then she cuts ones ear off to tell them apart. Then the other horse gets its ear cut off on barbed wire

Then the farmer says you should measure them. The blonde does that and is finally happy.

The farmer says how did it go and the blonde replies:

"The white one is 12 inches taller then the black one!"
 
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I knew you knew.
 
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kendo1 said:
https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/129823
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Part of me wants to sign as I support the notion, but I don't see why new legislation should be required. The damaging effects of wearing heels for protracted periods is already well established, so couldn't this just be covered by existing Health & Safety legislation? Updating the guidance for existing laws could go through overnight, unlike the protracted period to pass new legislation.
Our statute book is big enough already without passing a new bill for things like this.
 
Llamaman said:
Part of me wants to sign as I support the notion, but I don't see why new legislation should be required. The damaging effects of wearing heels for protracted periods is already well established, so couldn't this just be covered by existing Health & Safety legislation? Updating the guidance for existing laws could go through overnight, unlike the protracted period to pass new legislation.
Our statute book is big enough already without passing a new bill for things like this.
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The company's stance (sic) is ridiculous in this day and age. It looks like a bigger stick is needed to make them change it.

I can understand them wanting staff to dress 'smartly', but to enforce a size of heel on female staff is going too far.
As the woman concerned said '...are men required to wear heels?'

Anyway, here's a cat:

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... but did he tell anyone? :D
 
Skyline said:
Strange that is should only be mine:thinking:
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Some words are banned and that's one, if you know of another let me know and I'll break that to a link as well.
 
Cobra said:
Some words are banned and that's one, if you know of another let me know and I'll break that to a link as well.
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I'm not a grass. I never seen anything. I was at home with me mum :D
 
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