The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

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I bought the same one back in October - took it out on New Year's Day in one of my Fast Cars but it was a total Lemon.
I couldn't make sense of the manual and the thing works in Mysterious Ways and has a worrying Rattle and Hum.
It's so Bad that I set it on Fire and threw it in The Ocean. Then I Threw A Brick Through A Window. Now I feel Numb.
I hope Tomorrow I feel a bit better, but Some Days Are Better Than Others.
 
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The guy who invented predictive text passed away yesterday...

His funfair will be next Monkey.
 
Thanks that's much clearer. I don't know why all text isn't presented with a cuddly animal and a pink background.
 
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Just went out and bought Prince's greatest hits as a mark of respect..........

Annoyingly, it cost £25, but when I got home, I partied like it was £19.99.

RIP Prince
 
Last night my wife asked me for lip balm but I gave her superglue by mistake, she's still not talking to me.
 
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Voted Cold as you've not added all the other tits.....:)
 
On the same lines...

I was having a quickie over the chest freezer last week. Banned for life from Iceland.
 
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