The Official TP Funnies thread ( Jokes Memes etc )

Considering this is a photography forum and I have always thought a large part of photography is about observing ones surroundings, there seems to be one heck of a lot of duplicate posts in this thread.
 
Ah but like so many of the forums and threads, many people post without reading all the the previous posts.
And I'm not just talking about the joke section ;)

However I've been racking my brains over this ..

Opera-Snapshot_2019-09-25_224854_www.facebook.jpg
 
An old lady was knitting & speeding down the highway. A cop pulled up alongside her vehicle & yelled, "Pull over!" She yelled back, "No, they're mittens!"
 
sirch said:
I'm worried about one of my testicles. It's larger than the other two.
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What a load of cobblers..
or in the words of our glorious leader humbug
 
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There was this girl who really wanted a boob job, so she went to see a plastic surgeon, Dr. Jones. Dr. Jones told her the cost would be $3500.00. She then told Dr. Jones she could not afford to spend that much, so he told her if she waived her hands like a duck quacking in front of her breasts daily saying, "Mary had a little lamb, her fleece was white as snow," her boobs would begin to grow. The next day she was on a bus and remembered she forgot to do the chant. She began to secretly do it, and while she was doing it, a gentleman turned around and asked her if she went to Dr. Jones. She then asked why? He replied with a hand motion moving up and down chanting, "Hickory, Dickory, Dock."
 
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Tori_T said:
You just know someone, somewhere is gonna do this, then complain about the anti-tamper system that disables untrackable cars. View attachment 256140
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Was it the Rolling Stones who brought out an album that said on the cover."only clean with Emery paper".
 
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