Straying off topic, thread evolver

Nikon_Nick said:
Ok, so thats pun 'number two', so whos next?
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Me. And I'll wipe the floor with the lot of you. In a flush. You all need to brush up on your pun skills. [That's enough - Ed]


:coat:
 
Llamaman said:
Me. And I'll wipe the floor with the lot of you. In a flush. You all need to brush up on your pun skills. [That's enough - Ed]


:coat:
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I hear you. I saw an advert on tv earlier for a book about honing your punning skills. It was a good deal. You got some money back if you purchased it through Top Splash-back.
 
Nikon_Nick said:
I hear you. I saw an advert on tv earlier for a book about honing your punning skills. It was a good deal. You got some money back if you purchased it through Top Splash-back.
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I might have to get a copy.
I'm a bit flush.
 
jonbeeza said:
Yes, so long as it is Heinz Beans ;)
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Although Sainsbury's Essential beans are pretty good as well - I have a suspicion that they're Heinz's finest in extra sauce.

Cobra said:
View attachment 41237

HEINZ

:p
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See above!

viv1969 said:
Ketchup and soup...yes.
Beans...couldn't give a monkeys :LOL:
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Ketchup, yes; soup, not usually; beans, see above.

jonbeeza said:
If the Curry turns out poop, I will have to have beans on toast !
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ALL food turns out poop after a while...

Nikon_Nick said:
Ok, so thats pun 'number two', so poo's next?
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FTFY.

viv1969 said:
I might have to get a copy.
I'm a bit flush.
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Hot flushes? At your age? ;) :P
 
Nod said:
Although Sainsbury's Essential beans are pretty good as well - I have a suspicion that they're Heinz's finest in extra sauce.
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So they look the same, taste the same. Wonder if they fart the same?
 
jonbeeza said:
I have been doing a bit of baking recently. Been doing a Cherry cake and it's really good. Not one to blow my own trumpet, but my cakes come out pretty tasty.

One problem, Cherries keep sinking to bottom. Tried dusting Cherries with flour first, but they still sink !
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Here's a recipe for you, Jon (and anyone else who enjoys baking!) Evolved from a Crank's one.

Ingredients required:-
4oz Butter/Margervomit (100g)
3oz Raw Brown Sugar (but Demerara works too!) (75g)
2 Medium eggs (free range, beaten)
5oz Wholemeal SR flour (150g)
8oz Mincemeat (as in mince pies, not burgers!) (225g)
1tbsp Water (actually, a drop of your spirit of choice works very well - we use a mixture of Amaretto and Tia Maria...) (15ml)

Method:-
Cream Butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy.
Beat the eggs in a little at a time (add a teaspoon of flour if the mixture starts to split.)
Fold in the flour then the mincemeat and liquid. (At this stage, we add some chopped glacée cherries and some finely chopped white marzipan too!)

Spoon into an 8" (20cm) square tin or 12 muffin cases and bake at 170°C (325°F/Gas mark 3) for 25-30 minutes until well risen and golden.


I reckon you need 2 muffins to make one of your 5 a day, so a whole batch and you're sorted!!!

BTW, it might be hard to find mincemeat now but I'm sure it'll be on the shelves soon (and it's cheap as chips after christmas!)
 
Nod said:
Here's a recipe for you, Jon (and anyone else who enjoys baking!) Evolved from a Crank's one.

Ingredients required:-
4oz Butter/Margervomit (100g)
3oz Raw Brown Sugar (but Demerara works too!) (75g)
2 Medium eggs (free range, beaten)
5oz Wholemeal SR flour (150g)
8oz Mincemeat (as in mince pies, not burgers!) (225g)
1tbsp Water (actually, a drop of your spirit of choice works very well - we use a mixture of Amaretto and Tia Maria...) (15ml)

Method:-
Cream Butter and sugar together until pale and fluffy.
Beat the eggs in a little at a time (add a teaspoon of flour if the mixture starts to split.)
Fold in the flour then the mincemeat and liquid. (At this stage, we add some chopped glacée cherries and some finely chopped white marzipan too!)

Spoon into an 8" (20cm) square tin or 12 muffin cases and bake at 170°C (325°F/Gas mark 3) for 25-30 minutes until well risen and golden.


I reckon you need 2 muffins to make one of your 5 a day, so a whole batch and you're sorted!!!

BTW, it might be hard to find mincemeat now but I'm sure it'll be on the shelves soon (and it's cheap as chips after christmas!)
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Thanks for the recipe Nod, just might try that.

I have got a Cherry Cake in the oven at the moment.

Simple recipe / Ingredients I am using at the moment..

4oz Butter
6oz Flour s/r
4oz Sugar
3 Large eggs
Handful of Cherries
Handful mixed peel
Vanilla Extract
touch of baking soda

Makes a lovely fluffy light cake, this is for after our Curry tonight :D
 
Thread freshener needed ?
01_zps8ipcsbl2.jpg
 
# everything comes down to poo...

(Scrubs musical episode)
 
Llamaman said:
# everything comes down to poo...

(Scrubs musical episode)
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Never seen it, don't normally do musicals. Although I liked the singing detective, probably the nurse that did it. Nurse Mills played by Joanne Whalley.. I need to grease your bearings :rolleyes:
 
oh crap i missed all this
 
jonbeeza said:
.. it usually ends in toilet humour. No idea how we get onto it though!
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I have this unpleasant vision in mind of an Asian person trying to squat on a Western toilet, with both feet on the rim.
 
StewartR said:
I have this unpleasant vision in mind of an Asian person trying to squat on a Western toilet, with both feet on the rim.
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Many years ago a person we knew used our toilet, he was from Malaysia and apparently that's how he went the bog. My mum went mad, when he tried to take her glass jug to the bog with him :eek:
 
StewartR said:
I have this unpleasant vision in mind of an Asian person trying to squat on a Western toilet, with both feet on the rim.
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I have regrettably seen the aftermath of such a practice several times. You'd never want to sit on a public loo seat ever again. One time someone had completely missed the pan and it was on the floor.
 
nilagin said:
I have regrettably seen the aftermath of such a practice several times. You'd never want to sit on a public loo seat ever again. One time someone had completely missed the pan and it was on the floor.
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Keith W said:
So....... Do bears sh!t in the woods?
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Toilet humour alert ! :p

Staying on topic for too long, time to stray off topic ;)
 
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Keith W said:
So....... Do bears sh!t in the woods?
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Last time I was in the woods I did not see any bears, so not in the woods by me :) .. Seen plenty of foxes, tried to get a photo of them creeping about in back garden. Need a bigger camera, oh and a flash gun..hmm are you allowed to talk about cameras, in Out Of Focus ?
 
nilagin said:
I have regrettably seen the aftermath of such a practice several times. You'd never want to sit on a public loo seat ever again. One time someone had completely missed the pan and it was on the floor.
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That's Essex for ya ;)
 
viv1969 said:
That's Essex for ya ;)
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Essex has nothing to do with it. Where I have
been unfortunate enough to witness the aftermath was London. But I don't think they are particular where they leave their mess. A mate was unfortunate enough to walk into a cubicle just after the culprit exited. He grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and made him go back in and clear up his mess.




DorsetDude said:
The Only Way is Excrement?
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You mean East London overspill. No one from Essex talks like that.
 
Come on, Essex isnt all bad.Do you know, that people living in Essex are 38% more likely to be hit by falling aircraft parts than anywhere else in Britain. Also, nothing much changes in Essex (so kudos for consistency). During the witch hunt in the middle ages, there were more reported witches reported in Essex than in Devon and Cornwall combined. see...nothing much changes.
 
"spritz the bowl before you sit here
and no one will know you had diarrh-"

oh never mind.
 
Keith W said:
I hate couriers!
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Late package?

They do my head in also, they always ring my buzzer even though they want the woman a few doors down. They leave her stuff with me! It seems I answer the door quicker than she does :confused:
 
for the benefit of dorsetdude @ the crispy crisp thread ;)

Don't like Stinky crips anyway, hate them even more than ladas and skodas put together :p
 
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jonbeeza said:
It seems I answer the door quicker than she does
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Anything worth having?
All you have to do is sign John Smith and deny the delivery ever too place?
(Not that I'm suggesting for a minute that's the thing to do of course :D )
 
Cobra said:
Anything worth having?
All you have to do is sign John Smith and deny the delivery ever too place?
(Not that I'm suggesting for a minute that's the thing to do of course :D )
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Well I might be tempted if she was a younger woman, sexy satin night dress, or a tiny matching bra and panty set. But she is an older lady, so the thought of wrapping myself in her belly warmers and Tartan blanket, just do not do it for me :confused:
 
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