Straying off topic, thread evolver

jonbeeza said:
Oh OK then, my mate took his Tortoise for a walk to the park, I have not seem him for three weeks :p
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A baby tortoise was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end.

He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch.On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds.

Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"
 
Cobra said:
A baby tortoise was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end.

He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch.On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds.

Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"
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LOL

Speaking of animals, it reminds me the time my mate went down to London. While he was there, he went to buy a Horse. My mate asked how much the Horse was, the seller said he wanted a Monkey. My friend got mad and started shouting, saying are you mad wanting a Monkey for a Horse. The seller admitted the horse was over priced, so he said Ok just give us a Pony then. My mate rang me to tell me, the seller must be mad. Well why on earth would he want a Pony, in exchange for a Horse!
 
jonbeeza said:
Well why on earth would he want a Pony, in exchange for a Horse!
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I'd have beat him down to a poorly Cephalopod TBH
You know, sick squid :p
 
jonbeeza said:
I think he said he would accept the last offer, with a few squid thrown in for good measure ;)
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Yeah thats what I said six quid :
Which we all know is slightly more than a "skin diver" :thumbs:
 
How do you spell 'hungry horse' using only four letters?





... Wait for it...






MTGG
 
Cobra said:
Yeah thats what I said six quid :
Which we all know is slightly more than a "skin diver" (y)
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I know this stupid fella who got asked, did he want to go skinny dipping. He thought it was going pick pocketing thin people :D
 
jonbeeza said:
He thought it was going pick pocketing thin people :D
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Seems reasonable to me :thumbs:

I know ( used to know) an old game keeper was very fond of wearing one of those long trench type coats, (the name of which escapes me for now)
He got pick pocketed one day in town, what the offender didn't know was that he always took his ferrets with him, but it soon became apparent, apparently. :D
 
Llamaman said:
How do you spell 'hungry horse' using only four letters?
... Wait for it... MTGG
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On the flip side of that, my son has a T-shirt ...

imagegen.ashx
 
Speaking of strange flavourings I had some Guinness flavoured crisps yesterday that strangely enough didn't taste of Guinness at all,but the weirdest things were some Chicken and Abalone flavoured biscuits my son brought back from China (they eat some strange s***)which went in the bin, no doubt the seagulls at the tip enjoyed them.
 
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crofter said:
brought back from China.
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It is amazing the stuff you can buy in China, if you are over there. I know someone who went over there for a holiday, the stuff he brought back was mind boggling. It was very cheap too. Most of it broke or simply deteriorated, the quality is just not there!
 
crofter said:
Speaking of strange flavourings I had some Guinness flavoured crisps yesterday that strangely enough didn't taste of Guinness at all,but the weirdest things were some Chicken and Abalone flavoured biscuits my son brought back from China (they eat some strange s***)which went in the bin, no doubt the seagulls at the tip enjoyed them.
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I don't like Guinness (or any other beer) but do like Guinness flavour(ed) crisps and nuts. Favourite crisps flavour is paprika, although I prefer the mixed vegetable crisps to any potato ones.
 
crofter said:
I was both peckish and thirsty,the Guinness crisps did nothing to quench my thirst,I want my money back.
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No you can't get a refund, my mate tried and got nowhere. You are understood perfectly at point of sale, when things go wrong, language barrier kicks in :(
 
Nod said:
I don't like Guinness (or any other beer) but do like Guinness flavour(ed) crisps and nuts. Favourite crisps flavour is paprika, although I prefer the mixed vegetable crisps to any potato ones.
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My mate introduced me to a new fun flavoured packet of crisps, he claimed they were sweaty socks flavour! I'm sure he was just winding me up, and just probably Cheese and onion gone off :eek:
 
Nod said:
I don't like Guinness (or any other beer) but do like Guinness flavour(ed) crisps and nuts. Favourite crisps flavour is paprika, although I prefer the mixed vegetable crisps to any potato ones.
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You Sir, have great taste. Paprika is the best of the best flavour.

Anyway this call for this;
View: https://youtu.be/tNEdfhRxHQU
 
dejongj said:
.... flavour.
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When my mate was travelling in the far east, he told me he was eating a bag of mixed nuts. He asked a local what the actually ingredients was, he was nearly sick when he was told it was mixed beetle..
 
viv1969 said:
It's time to put the bottle down :LOL:
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We don't know when to put the bottle down, but in the end we got shown the door. But on a good note, everything seemed so much better afterwards :beer:
 
The time to put a bottle down is when it can be stood on its neck without spilling more than a drop or 2!
 
jonbeeza said:
When my mate was travelling in the far east, he told me he was eating a bag of mixed nuts. He asked a local what the actually ingredients was, he was nearly sick when he was told it was mixed beetle..
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I never get that, before he knew he liked it? I'll eat anything unless I don't like the texture or flavour, but knowing that afterwards doesn't change it for me.
 
jonbeeza said:
But you can't let your son wear that, it will show off his ribs !
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Its OK they are covered in tattoo's, modesty prevails :thumbs:
crofter said:
which went in the bin, no doubt the seagulls at the tip enjoyed them.
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Indeed they did, They sent a request that you send more immediately :thumbs:
 
dejongj said:
I never get that, before he knew he liked it? I'll eat anything unless I don't like the texture or flavour, but knowing that afterwards doesn't change it for me.
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It would be something, going back to shop complaining there was a nut in your mixed insect :confused:
 
Cobra said:
tattoo's
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The missus has got a Tattoo and she wants a few more. I'm not overly keen on Tattoos, and I told her, if the gets more I will get some also. Silly thing is, she does not want me to get any, so she has not got them done!
 
jonbeeza said:
Silly thing is, she does not want me to get any, so she has not got them done!
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Did you not write to your MP? sounds like a clear case of sexual discrimination to me :(
 
Cobra said:
Join the elite (y)
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I was thinking of joining an elite fitness group, this was after watching them training in the park this morning. This was before the missus pointed out, the group were young and super fit. I am unfit incapable, and past it so I am told. I was also reminded, I have to take three tablets a day.
 
Cobra said:
Not all little blue ones I trust?
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No, I'm not allowed to take them any more. They made face swell up and my eyes bulge, seems they did not reach the parts they were meant to. I think Heineken could do with making the little blue tablets. ;)
 
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