Sex with a bike

Holy news article revival Batman!
 
Oh dear....wait for it...wait for it.... :lol:
 
Here it comes ...cyclist caught riding his bike. :exit:
 
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I've obviously had a very sheltered life, but how exactly do you have sex with a bicycle?

. . . on second thoughts . . . actually, please nobody answer that . . . I really don't want to know (and I'll never be able to think about anyone who answers in the same way again :lol: )
 
My brother married one.
 
ST4 said:
No Jail though, he just has to rock up to the courts every now and then and tell the Sherrif he ain't humping his bike.
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I wonder if he will chain it to the railings while he's in there !
 
SarahLee said:
:LOL: Well you managed to contain it for 7 minutes !!!
(my money was on somebody else being the first to say it)
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Sorry...couldn't resist :whistle:
 
SarahLee said:
:LOL: Well you managed to contain it for 7 minutes !!!
(my money was on somebody else being the first to say it)
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Just because I thought it, didn't mean I was going to post it. :p
 
And WTF?
Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

 
Cobra said:
And WTF?
Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.
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As a result he is not allowed within 5 miles of any halfords
 
SarahLee said:
I've obviously had a very sheltered life, but how exactly do you have sex with a bicycle?

. . . on second thoughts . . . actually, please nobody answer that . . . I really don't want to know (and I'll never be able to think about anyone who answers in the same way again :LOL: )
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Erm you've made a fatal assumption, that he was the pitcher and not the catcher :puke:
 
:D

507a4eca-3cec-4105-91c3-2783788c4955_zps126d7f20.jpg
 
PMSL Ian
 
I remember getting my nuts twisted by getting them jammed between the back wheel and the rim brakes on a bmx. Hopefully no one convicts me of attempted rape of a bicycle as I had a fair share of laughs from the hospital staff...
 
SarahLee said:
I've obviously had a very sheltered life, but how exactly do you have sex with a bicycle?
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Um ... I'm afraid many of us here will admit to having had sex with a [local] bicycle ... and if you don't recognise which of your friends that is, it means it's you!! :naughty: :exit:
 
CaveDweller said:
I remember getting my nuts twisted by getting them jammed between the back wheel and the rim brakes on a bmx. ...
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I'm not even going to begin to ask................................
:D
 
Brings a whole new meaning to Queen's bicycle song :D
 
Cobra said:
I'm not even going to begin to ask................................
:D
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Landed a jump badly and slipped off the pedals. Will serve me right for being a kid who thought I was invincible :ROFLMAO:
 
This seems to hinge around the fact that the cleaners used their key to enter his room and saw him with the bicycle.

Would the result have been the same if they saw him having actual sex... you know.. without a bicycle?


Steve.
 
First off they start censoring the Internet, now what people do in private behind closed doors.

We're getting dragged back to the 30s, what's next no showing of a lady's ankle??
 
The world has gone mad.....the police have started arresting people who look like they are having relations with inanimate objects, and not bothering to arrest people for so much more......I give up to be honest.......

Its all just bewildering at times for me........

Common sense has long since departed and something else has taken its place in so many areas of modern life.
 
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SarahLee said:
p.s. Yes, it does seem very harsh.
I can't see how whatever he was doing to his bike in his own room would impact anyone else in any way.
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So you would be OK with fitting him a new saddle tube then because it wont be dust clogging his old one up
 
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Gary Coyle said:
So you would be OK with fitting him a new Exhaust then because it wont be carbon clogging his old one up
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Exhaust? What bicycle has an exhaust?

How do make carbon on a bicycle, is that an innuendo?
 
Dave1 said:
Exhaust? What bicycle has an exhaust?

How do make carbon on a bicycle, is that an innuendo?
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By riding it :P every time you ride it you emit carbon dioxide
 
Puts a whole new old light on the joke "Oh, I've never come this way before!" "Must be the cobbles!" ...
 
Chain gang-bang?
 
my freind who's a casualty nirse once told me about a guy who came in with a burnt todger ... apparently he'd got into the habit of having sex with is car (yeah - um okay ) then one day he arrived home and just couldn't wait so he stuck it up the exhaust without thinking that it might be hot :eek: :lol: .... it takes all sorts
 
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