Seperation

Keith W

Keith W

Suspended / Banned
Messages
7,408
Edit My Images
Yes
Separation

Solicitors who act like jackals causing massive issues and problems

It sucks!

:(
 
Problems have to be there to be exacerbated.
If they weren't, a solicitor wouldn't really be needed.
 
viv1969 said:
Problems have to be there to be exacerbated.
If they weren't, a solicitor wouldn't really be needed.
Click to expand...
True enough, but many solicitors make the situation much worse than it needs to be. I've had this first hand and luckily me and my ex managed to stay amicable despite the best efforts of solicitors. Yes I understand they are in business to make money but I don't think they need to add to personal misery to make a living.
 
rick448 said:
True enough, but many solicitors make the situation much worse than it needs to be. I've had this first hand and luckily me and my ex managed to stay amicable despite the best efforts of solicitors. Yes I understand they are in business to make money but I don't think they need to add to personal misery to make a living.
Click to expand...

I've had first hand on both sides.
Things get messy all by themselves if pernitted.
 
in laws encouraged the wife to go to solicitor within days of us parting - even though she had said she would not do this.

Had nothing but pressure from ex and her solicitor to agree to and sign documents.

I finally get a solicitor myself, a trainee at that it would seem, and instead of getting paper work from other half's solicitor and then discussing it with me has taken it upon themselves to demand stuff, money etc. from my ex which was never agreed upon and without discussing it with me first.

Will be calling them in the morning to ask what they are playing at

In the mean time I have an angry ex on my case, who just cant seem to understand that she is not the only one who is upset and hurting in all of this

So a reasonably good day has turn into a totally crap one
 
Keith W said:
Separation

Solicitors who act like jackals causing massive issues and problems

It sucks!

:(
Click to expand...

you know the difference between a dead badger at the side of the road, and a dead lawyer at the side of the road ?

the skid marks in front of the badger ;) :lol:

The best advice is for both you and your ex to keep the lawyers on a short leash - i know more than one couple whiee once they were done fighting over the house they'd collectively run up such big legal bills that when the house was sold the both wound up with about 40% with the other 20% going to the legal fees
 
Keith W said:
in laws encouraged the wife to go to solicitor within days of us parting - even though she had said she would not do this.

Had nothing but pressure from ex and her solicitor to agree to and sign documents.

I finally get a solicitor myself, a trainee at that it would seem, and instead of getting paper work from other half's solicitor and then discussing it with me has taken it upon themselves to demand stuff, money etc. from my ex which was never agreed upon and without discussing it with me first.

Will be calling them in the morning to ask what they are playing at

In the mean time I have an angry ex on my case, who just cant seem to understand that she is not the only one who is upset and hurting in all of this

So a reasonably good day has turn into a totally crap one
Click to expand...

It's often the case that other people interfere which make things worse and then the whole thing spirals out of control. Unfortunately the more complicated it gets the more bitter it can become and the only ones who benefit from that are the aforementioned solicitors.

Sometimes there is no alternative to going to them but if things can be agreed without them it is much less painful. Me and my last ex divorced online for a fraction of the cost of instructing solicitors. We have even remained friends!
 
All I ever asked from the ex was for my clothes & the bed, wardrobe & chest of drawers out of the spare room - that's it

She can keep everything else, the house, car, everything, I don't want it and have told her this but now the solicitors are involved it is turning into a horrible mess.

And all of this is have an effect on my daughter which is not nice.
 
mediation services might be worth a look (that shouldnt be confused with mariage counselling of the relate type) , mediation is were you and the ex both meet with a legal adviser and they help you sort the legal/financial stuff out in in a fair and equitable way without getting into an adversarial battle that costs thouands in legal fees
 
rick448 said:
It's often the case that other people interfere which make things worse and then the whole thing spirals out of control. Unfortunately the more complicated it gets the more bitter it can become and the only ones who benefit from that are the aforementioned solicitors.

Sometimes there is no alternative to going to them but if things can be agreed without them it is much less painful. Me and my last ex divorced online for a fraction of the cost of instructing solicitors. We have even remained friends!
Click to expand...

Since we separated I have found out that I was married to loads of other people as well without even knowing it!

We were going to do it amicably among ourselves but the ex's parents insisted that she go the legal separation route and now all hell has broken out
 
Last edited:
Keith W said:
All I ever asked from the ex was for my clothes & the bed, wardrobe & chest of drawers out of the spare room - that's it

She can keep everything else, the house, car, everything, I don't want it and have told her this but now the solicitors are involved it is turning into a horrible mess.

And all of this is have an effect on my daughter which is not nice.
Click to expand...

In that case it ought to be fairly simple once you've got your solicitor under control ... and don't be afraid to change firms if he gives you any s***. (that said i'd tend to suggest you also get something about custody in writing asap , and seperate your financial affars / agree maintenance for your daughter etc asap too)

to be fair i can see why your ex's parents would want her to formalise an agreement (because basically something done amicably amongs yourselves wouldnt be binding if you later canged your mind), but if you don't want half the house/car/chattells drawing up a legal agreement for you both to sign shouldn't be hugely adversarial or expensive
 
Last edited:
We already have separate banking arrangements

we have also agreed an amount for me to pay each month

I have also put in place a trust fund for my daughter which my ex cant touch
 
When I split from my ex we both went to see separate solicitors (obviously).

Her's seemed to be quite reasonable, mine really buttered me up, tried to fill my head with greed (i.e pushing for more money etc) and even when the pair of us agreed on the financials amicably still tried to get me to push for more. Thankfully I ignored her (the solicitor) paid her what I owed and cut ties. The cheeky mare had a habit of sending 3-4 replies to 1 email..... funny that it was in her T&Cs that she would charge £xx per email received and £xx per email sent.

An older guy who I used to play cricket with who's a doctor told me to steer clear of solicitors unless absolutely necessary as he saw a lot of the stress couples went through during a divorce was caused by solicitors.

I actually spoke to the legal helpline my company provides about my solicitor's conduct and I would have had good grounds to take her to court (how ironic) as apparently it's against their code of conduct to interfere if a settlement has been agreed between the parties.

Good luck with your separation Keith, it'll be tough for a while but there's better things ahead (although you probably wont see them just yet)
 
I had a great solicitor, I was paying him, he took instruction from me.

On any points of disagreement with something my ex wife's brief had forwarded, I would ask how much would it cost to argue the point in court, he would tell me and I would say let it go, no point throwing money away.

If they are not doing what you want find another Solicitors
 
@Russ77 your story sounds just like what my solicitor is up to at the moment

I have rung there office and asked that she call me back as a matter of urgency, I cant have her acting without consultation with me first and causing me a major headache
 
Keith W said:
@Russ77 your story sounds just like what my solicitor is up to at the moment

I have rung there office and asked that she call me back as a matter of urgency, I cant have her acting without consultation with me first and causing me a major headache
Click to expand...

As if the situation isn't bad and stressful enough, the last thing you need to the people who are supposedly there to help move things along causing more aggro!

In the end, my ex's solicitor drew up the separation agreement, I asked my solicitor for a price to review it and then did the rest through the ex's solicitor (obviously using a different person within the practice).

Things were a lot easier once the terms had been agreed. We then just waited 2 years to file the divorce under irreconcilable differences (she wouldn't admit to adultary..... apparently sending each other explicit pictures/videos isn't cheating :lol:)
 
There's an old song by Elton John called Legal Boys sums all this solicitor stuff up.
 
Keith W said:
@Russ77 your story sounds just like what my solicitor is up to at the moment

I have rung there office and asked that she call me back as a matter of urgency, I cant have her acting without consultation with me first and causing me a major headache
Click to expand...

Don't rely on a phone call. Mail her, ask her to call you as soon as possible, and instruct her not to take any further action in the matter without discussing it and getting your agreement first. I'd request a meeting too - you'll have to pay for this - but get your instructions to her sorted out and confirm them by mail/letter too.
 
If more people reported solicitors unacceptable behaviour to the SRA instead of whining about it, perhaps they might get what they want.
 
viv1969 said:
If more people reported solicitors unacceptable behaviour to the SRA instead of whining about it, perhaps they might get what they want.
Click to expand...
I agree with you, however at the time, life wasn't exactly a bowl of roses (as I'm sure is the same for most people who are forced to use a solicitor).

My priorities were making sure I wasn't going to get shafted by the ex OR the solicitor and try to somehow move on with my life which at the time felt like the planet Alderaan post Deathstar.

Further action to report the solicitor would have just added extra pain to an already horrible period in my life.

In hind sight, yes I probably should have done something about it but hey ho.

I would imagine it's the same for a lot of people who get stung by a less than scrupulous solicitor.
 
Keith W said:
All I ever asked from the ex was for my clothes & the bed, wardrobe & chest of drawers out of the spare room - that's it
She can keep everything else, the house, car, everything, I don't want it and have told her this but now the solicitors are involved it is turning into a horrible mess.
Click to expand...
As they do, and at a price too,
but now they are involved, don't forget that you also have entitlements, don't let your ex walk all over you, and you just roll over and play the good guy.
Neither party should leave the marriage any worse off than the other, there are also claims on private pensions, (if either of you have them)
and that works both ways. I hope you can sort it out without having to go to court though, barristers are horrendously expensive!

Good luck, Keith, I hope it gets sorted quickly :thumbs:
 
Been there, I was lucky and it was all fairly amicable, had a decent solicitor too.
I kept the rented flat and furniture, he didn't want a divorce, but knowing he didn't like
parting with money, I came to a deal with him that wrote off all claims to any financial
payouts, maintenance for me and future claims on his estate if he rolled over and let the divorce go
through, I wouldn't even claim expenses.
It was reasonably cheap, he walked away with some money and the car, with only monthly payments
for our daughter, which I had to go back to court when he stopped paying and trust me that was peanuts :banghead:
My daughter still has full rights to claim on his estate when he dies, never signed that away.
Yes I could have got more if I wanted it but TBH I just wanted him and that part of my life gone ;)
 
Separation is just about the most horrible, stressful, heartbreaking thing - especially when solicitors are involved and even more so when kids are involved.

I really feel for you keith and just hope its goes smoothly and QUICKLY for you. Was the longest 4 months of my life. Hope you can get on with your life asap fella
 
Best thing I did when I got divorced was to use the Collaborative Law system, similar to the mediation service that's already been mentioned. If you're still on talking terms with your partner and prepared to be reasonable with each other it's a great system. The lawyers act in your best interests, but you have meetings involving both parties to thrash out the finances, how things are going to divided between you, child visiting rights etc before it all goes to court. So you end up with a much less messy split and it's considerably cheaper than a conventional divorce, as there's a lot less work for the solicitors and the courts.
 
You don't appear to be looking for sympathy in any way but all I can offer is to wish you both all the best in getting this sorted as you want.
Its a hard enough time without any extra grief.
 
Carlh said:
Separation is just about the most horrible, stressful, heartbreaking thing - especially when solicitors are involved and even more so when kids are involved.

I really feel for you keith and just hope its goes smoothly and QUICKLY for you. Was the longest 4 months of my life. Hope you can get on with your life asap fella
Click to expand...
I can vouch for that, I remember when it happened to me. If only I had made better decisions at the time :coat:
 
Keith W said:
And the cr@p still goes on :(
Click to expand...
b****r! :(
Hope you get it all sorted soon, there is no need for it to keep dragging on, it helps no one
 
viv1969 said:
If more people reported solicitors unacceptable behaviour to the SRA instead of whining about it, perhaps they might get what they want.
Click to expand...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

When my mother died the solicitor didn't do very much, yet ran up a huge bill, took so long to resolve everything that the estate took over two years to finalise over what should have been a simple job. Instead of charging the quoted £4500, he took (yes took) £38000 from the estate in 'fees'. Now to me that is theft.

Asking for a complete breakdown of costs took months, with the 'help' of the SRA, who when they were produced said his fees looked reasonable for the amount of work he'd done, but he'd made a 'mistake' and over charged for some items. Trouble was it was all fabricated to justify stealing the money from the estate, which he thought we wouldn't notice or understand.

We got the police involved, guy was in his 70's and ended up paying back the money, plus interest and retired. SRA was useless and only after the CPS actually charged him with fraud was the solution agreed between CPS and SRA as the best solution 'because he was so old'.
 
I'm glad you got justice in the end too, and you really did cop for a criminal.
Understandable that you feel the way you feel, and there's little point in "arguing" the subject, so I shan't.
 
Keith W said:
in laws encouraged the wife to go to solicitor within days of us parting - even though she had said she would not do this.

Had nothing but pressure from ex and her solicitor to agree to and sign documents.

I finally get a solicitor myself, a trainee at that it would seem, and instead of getting paper work from other half's solicitor and then discussing it with me has taken it upon themselves to demand stuff, money etc. from my ex which was never agreed upon and without discussing it with me first.

Will be calling them in the morning to ask what they are playing at

In the mean time I have an angry ex on my case, who just cant seem to understand that she is not the only one who is upset and hurting in all of this

So a reasonably good day has turn into a totally crap one
Click to expand...
Don't feel pressured into playing along. The solicitor has a business to run, it's in their interest to draw things out.
 
At the end of the day, the solicitor is working for you! You have to tell them to abide by what 'you' want! They are there to see that your wishes are carried out and that everything is done legally and above board. Hope all goes ok. Thinking of you.
 
Yeah. Attorneys are fond of referring to their 'instructions' when it suits them, so make sure they also understand that you are giving them instructions, not mere suggestions or carte blanche to act as they see fit.
 
Spent the morning wading through and reading reams and reams of legal stuff

Bit peed off though as the solicitor said to call them to talk about it but when I did I got there bloody voicemail saying they were " away from my desk" - Don't bloody email me to call you if you are not going to be bloody there to receive my call!!
 
Last edited:
Keith W said:
Spent the morning wading through and ready reams and reams of legal stuff

Bit peed off though as the solicitor said to call them to talk about it but when I did I got there bloody voicemail saying they were " away from my desk" - Don't bloody email me to call you if you are not going to be bloody there to receive my call!!
Click to expand...
Yes, it's well known that solicitors never have to eat, pee or attend meetings. They just sit at the desk all day waiting for you to call (but not billing you for the time spent idle, obviously). :)

Seriously, though, best thing to do is email back saying you'll call at a specific time. This helps them, as they can make sure they're at their desk with the file in front of them, when you call.
Or just call back half an hour later.
 
She emailed me with a specific time and then wasn't there, I called 3 times in fact

Sorry if I did not make that clear in my rant :(
 
Last edited:
They ( solicitors) do seem to be a law unto themselves don't they? :(
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top