Only a man will understand this.

Davec223

Davec223

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Only a man will understand this.

This is a story which is perfectly logical - only to males:

Milk and eggs. A woman asks a male friend ....

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later he comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

She asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."
 
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The more common type of women's logic is "If I buy this dress in the sale I have saved myself £50. Therefore, I can afford these shoes as well".

What you have posted is actually men's logic. And very logical it is too. Often if I am asked a question where both options are given such as "is the light on or off?" I will answer "yes" as it is on or off.


Steve.
 
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Steve Smith said:
The more common type of women's logic is "If I buy this dress in the sale I have saved myself £50. Therefore, I can afford these shoes as well".

What you have posted is actually men's logic. And very logical it is too. Often if I am asked a question where both options are given such as "is the light on or off?" I will answer "yes" as it is on or off.

Steve.
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You are right will edit the title, that will teach me to post it having just woken up.
 
actually its much more likely to go like this

Milk and eggs. A woman asks a male friend ....

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later he comes back with a 6 pack of ale.

She asks him, "Where are my eggs and milk?"

He replied, "What eggs and milk?"
 
Another common one my wife does is to repeat the question I just asked or repeat the statement I just made with a questioning tone.

I usually reply with "that's what I said".

And the correct answers to "do you know where my keys are?" is either yes or no. No further information needs to be given until it is asked for.


Somehow I'm still married!


Steve.
 
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Steve Smith said:
Another common one my wife does is to repeat the question I just asked or repeat the statement I just made with a questioning tone.

I usually reply with "that's what I said".

And the correct answers to "do you know where my keys are?" is either yes or no. No further information needs to be given until it is asked for.


Somehow I'm still married!


Steve.
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:lol: I thought repeating the question was something only my S.O did and reply with the same question, even after 13yrs she still does not get the idea that yes or no will do, claims I mutter !!!:bang:
 
The usual one in my household goes a little something like this. Whilst around the dinner table someone will say "could you pass the salad?" Someone else will simply answer "yes", and continue on eating until they ask correctly :D
 
TriggerHappy said:
someone will say "could you pass the salad?" Someone else will simply answer "yes", and continue on eating until they ask correctly
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My father's answer to this one was "yes, it's not moving very quickly".

Then there's the classic one in a shop when the assistant is measuring out a length of rope, cloth, cable, etc.

"How long do you want it?".... "I want to keep it".


Steve.
 
A classic is when a first-time type visitor pop in and they say "Do you have a toilet I can use?"

I still haven't got the heart to say "no" anyway.
 
As kids, and as pretty big family, we ate dinner at the dining table, all together when possible; but like all little kids, once dinner was eaten we'd get pretty bored, so one of us would say "Can I leave the table?". Without blinking my dad would simply say "Yes you can.....but you may not". I've found myself saying the same thing once or twice. Funny what sticks with you.
 
We really do need a "rolling eyes" smilie :D
 
Davec223 said:
Only a man will understand this.

This is a story which is perfectly logical - only to males:

Milk and eggs. A woman asks a male friend ....

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later he comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

She asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."
Click to expand...


im a male and i dont get it? :bonk:
 
Davec223 said:
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."
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It sort of, kind of, illustrates why some threads go pear shaped due to misunderstandings.

The literary, linguistic interpretation of that instruction is most certainly to buy 6 cartons of milk if the shop sells eggs.

Ambiguity is one of the biggest sins in writing.

There is a branch of linguistics that studies the difference between literal interpretation and the social skills necessary to make the correct interpretation. Can't for the life of me remember what it's called.

People with autism tend to struggle with this, depending on the nature of their condition.

Crikey, that all sounds a bit serious. Sorry folks.
 
One thing I have found that confuses many tesco checkout people....

You go through the till.... with about 10 items...

"Would you like a bag?"
"Don't you think I have enough to carry already?"
 
The two that really wind me up:

1.
Try and - as in, "I will try and fix it."

Well that's quite a statement. You have absolute confidence that if you try, you will succeed.

The phrase is, "I will try to fix it."

2.
"Welcome back to part two of the show."

Welcome back? To be welcome back to part two I must have been at part two before, have left and am now returning.

I haven't seen part two before, I'm not returning to it, so how can I be welcome back?
 
simon ess said:
Try and - as in, "I will try and fix it."

Well that's quite a statement. You have absolute confidence that if you try, you will succeed.

The phrase is, "I will try to fix it."
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At last. Someone else who agrees with me!

Another one is compare. You do not compare something to something, you compare it with something

And whilst we're at it, you don't send someone an invite, you send them an invitation. Invite is a verb, invitation is a noun. You can't send someone a verb. This is similar to the American phrase my bad which I hate. You can't own an adjective.


Steve.
 
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A genuine tale;

Some years ago a work colleague said he was off to the local sandwich shop and did anyone want anything fetching.

Stuart replied "20 Bensons please" ( We were allowed to smoke then)

Colleague "What do you want if the haven't got Bensons?"

Stuart "Oh get us anything"

Workmate came back with a dripping sandwich. :)
 
Now we're talking.

A dripping sandwich with a bit of jelly and plenty of salt.

I'm salivating at the thought while the health nazis are having heart attacks.

:lol:
 
Ooooh no!

Dripping(and jelly) need to go on thick white toast with marmite.

Mmmmmmm.


Heather
 
simon ess said:
Now we're talking.

A dripping sandwich with a bit of jelly and plenty of salt.

I'm salivating at the thought while the health nazis are having heart attacks.

:lol:
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(Descriptive smilie)...Drool...(Descriptive smilie)
 
Steve Smith said:
At last. Someone else who agrees with me!

Another one is compare. You do not compare something to something, you compare it with something

And whilst we're at it, you don't send someone an invite, you send them an invitation. Invite is a verb, invitation is a noun. You can't send someone a verb. This is similar to the American phrase my bad which I hate. You can't own an adjective.


Steve.
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:thinking:

Are you sure, Steve? I'm pretty certain it is grammatically correct to 'compare with' something.

A link that may amuse you!
 
joescrivens said:
actually its much more likely to go like this

Milk and eggs. A woman asks a male friend ....

"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later he comes back with a 6 pack of ale.

She asks him, "Where are my eggs and milk?"

He replied, "What eggs and milk?"
Click to expand...

Its her fault for not writing it down :naughty:
 
She shouldn't have been lazy and got it herself.
 
Second subject down this page: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/ranges.aspx

As an aside, because “compared to" and "compared with” constructions are so widely—almost zealously—botched, spare yourself. Use “liken to” and “contrast with,” and you’ll save yourself about a hundred bucks a year in headache remedies. However, if you must, here’s the Quick and Dirty Tip: “Compare to” refers to similarities, and “compare with” indicates considering both similarities and differences (1, 2).
For example, Squiggly could compare a flying bison's take off to that of a Chinook helicopter. When he uses "compare to," he's noting the similarity. On the other hand, Aardvark could compare a bison with a Chinook helicopter to look for clues about how a bison could fly. When he uses "compare with," he's examining both things that are the same between a helicopter and a bison, and things that are different.
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So to can be used if the things are similar. But as she says, if you must!


Steve.
 
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Daryl said:
Uncle Buck

Heather

Ruth

What!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :gag:daryl

You're all in league with Lucifer.
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I agree with you totally Daryl. Love beef. But dripping on toast is vile. :puke:
 
Is it any wonder that threads disintigrate if we are comparing with; with, to and comparing; to too many times with with?

With all this toing and froing has anyone brought the eggs or not? I have too much milk to eat my breakfast with when really I should be eating my breakfast with a spoon, the spoon was not ready in time for breakfast so I had to eat it alone. Whereas if the eggs arrive, could I have them for breakfast instead?

Well to keep things in a disorganised order, I have had breakfast at the time for 11's and it should tide me over till lunch, which for the culinary aware, will be shredded chicken made with pork. To clarify this and get back on topic, that is what my wife said while preparing it - go figure that one out fellas :D

Confused of Stockport.
 
The man has misinterpreted the punctuation. It's obviously 6 eggs...

Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk; and if they have eggs, get 6.

The above is the correctly punctuated form and the correct meaning :)
 
phil8139 said:
Is it any wonder that threads disintigrate if we are comparing with; with, to and comparing; to too many times with with?

With all this toing and froing has anyone brought the eggs or not? I have too much milk to eat my breakfast with when really I should be eating my breakfast with a spoon, the spoon was not ready in time for breakfast so I had to eat it alone. Whereas if the eggs arrive, could I have them for breakfast instead?

Well to keep things in a disorganised order, I have had breakfast at the time for 11's and it should tide me over till lunch, which for the culinary aware, will be shredded chicken made with pork. To clarify this and get back on topic, that is what my wife said while preparing it - go figure that one out fellas :D

Confused of Stockport.
Click to expand...

But that's not unusual for Stockport, is it? :D
 
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