Let's liven it up.... Vasectomy

Lynton

Lynton

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Lynton (yes really!)
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OK, We don't want any more additions to Samelia, so guess who gets to be "done"

Yep. Me.

Mrs S, says "You'll never post that on there...."

Yep I have!


Appreciate a rather delicate subject but booked in and told relatively painless, is it?

I have no issues with it, and no issues with who knows I am having "the snip"

Just looking for some kind of 1st hand info as to what to expect...

Been told 2 days to 2 months to recover...
 
The family jewels will definitely ache for a few days but the pain might not be immediately obvious after the op. So don't fall into the trap of trying to do anything energetic. After the local anaesthetic wears off it'll feel like you've be well and truly kicked in the b****cks.
 
Been there, done it, got the tee shirt. Got to say totally painless.
 
We've 4 kids and no plans for any more.

I'd planned to get the snip last year but a few issues cropped up which meant postponing.

After a few tests and scans I got the all clear but haven't got round to sorting it out again.

K said no fun till it's done - I said that's fine. Didn't go down well ;)
 
I remember playing pool with my brother in law after he had the cut.
At one point in the game he started laughing, tears streaming down his face.

He eventually got himself back together to say that were only black and blue balls on the table.
 
piece of p***...had mine done a few years ago not a problem, no pain nothing

11 am had the op, i was awake for it and as im in the trade so to speak i took great interest in looking up at the lights above and using the reflection to watch what the surgeon was up to, making small talk with a blonde rather attractive theatre nurse whilst a man shaves your plums is a bit of an experiance, on the way back from theatre one of the porters decides to stop off at the wrvs for a can of coke and a mars bar whilst im left in the middle of the corridor

1200...discharged, walked up the road to meet my missus

2pm local drug dealer from 3 houses down stoned off his head and p***ed decides to get in his car and promptly crashes into next doors car, my missus shouts me to come have a "chat " with the scroat and take his keys off him whilst she calls the police, he wasnt keen on giving me the keys but after a brief fracas ;) he decided i was right and handed them over

8pm....out the pub for a few pints

12pm....returned home and decided to just check if things were still working so to speak....passed with flying colours

8am...off to work on my motorbike, a lovely throbbing V twin suzuki TL1000...no problems not a twinge

no problems then or since, worst part is trying to get the bloody samples in the bottle...its harder than it looks :ROFLMAO:
 
Only problem is the local anesthetic, which hurt like hell when they injected.
 
I offered to get the snip when we decided to have no more kids but Mrs A stood up like a true trooper and took the bullet instead.....she went in at eleven and was home at four.......I even picked her up from the hospital:D
 
Its no big deal mate, the procedure is 'interesting' in that you get to actualy see your conker strings (if of course you want to look),post op you end up with knackers like an elephant for a day or two with a bit of mild discomfort , but most importantly the baby-gravy is useless afterwards.
 
I've never understood this. Personally I would never get it done.
 
Whatever you do, after the op make sure you have well supporting underwear. DO NOT let the Crown Jewels swing - else they'll be swinging round your knees.
 
Depends which way they are doing the op.

My brother went in hospital and under anaesthetic, result was black and blue and pain for days.
I went to the doctors, lay on the table, wondered what was for tea, went home and only felt the occasional scratch from inside for a few days.

Option two is the way to go.
 
Lynton said:
OK, We don't want any more additions to Samelia, so guess who gets to be "done"

Yep. Me.
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Surely it's less painful for Mrs S to have laser eye surgery? :whistle:

One clear look and she'll never let you near her again! :runaway::exit:
 
A little prick :rolleyes: when they inject the local, 10 mins and it was all over. I had mine done by laser, the couple of things that got me were the smell of burning and the light pulling feeling when they pull the tube out to zap it.

I had mine done on the Friday and was back at work Monday.

Pain wise it was more of a light ache for a few days but nothing really bad.
 
phil8139 said:
Depends which way they are doing the op.

My brother went in hospital and under anaesthetic, result was black and blue and pain for days.
I went to the doctors, lay on the table, wondered what was for tea, went home and only felt the occasional scratch from inside for a few days.

Option two is the way to go.
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'tis the latter.
 
5 sons and 2 daughters later I decided it was time for me to have it done... My wife said....no... shes having it done instead...so being a gentleman I let her go for it :)
 
hmmm had mine done about 25 years ago ,the doctor who was a very attractive lady ,told me as she proceeded that i had a very thick muscle wall on my scrotum (balls to the unlearned on here) and she was going to have to do it through the side of my penis (again for the unread cock,willy,knob etc) which she did .three weeks later i still had more black balls than a snooker table and realised why john wayne walked the way he did .and i agree getting the sample in the bottle is not easy :arghh:
 
2 bricks, your chuckies in between them as the quack smacks the bricks together, it's totally painless for the quack as long as he keeps his thumbs out of the way.:pompous:
I got done in '82 I was lucky I got offered a general anaesthetic. Originally supposed to get a local. A old hospital unheated room in January at 9 am (1st patient of the day) lying on a narrow metal table which was ice cold and only a thin strip of tissue between the table and me. My chuckies were having nothing to do with it and retreated up into my chest where they were nice and warm, that along with the sight of the needle and scalpel didn't help.
He dabbed some yellow stuff around my nuts telling me it warms them up, as I kept lifting my ass off the table he asked if I was ok, I told him to put the scalpel and needle away as they were not needed, the yellow stuff was burning my nuts off. He put too much yellow stuff and left it too long, my language was quite colurful. I got offered a general anaesthetic at a later date. :exit: I'm sure they have better methods in place nowadays ...good luck.
 
Having it done at the docs surgery means you won't even need to get undressed. Trousers down, bend one leg and remember to not have beans for lunch.

In and out in under 20 mins.

As for the samples, my clinic did say that there was quite a high reading of saliva. I replied that it just confused the wife when I asked her for sample back as she usually swa...... :D
 
I had it done in 2000 - never looked back. had it done in a local GP's surgery under a local - in and out in under 1/2 hour. Simples. I bit achey for a few days after, but no swelling or bruising.
 
Snipped on Friday, back to work on Monday. I was walking like John Wayne on Saturday and Sunday, though it wasn't a drama. A couple of pair of tight underpants help keep things supported.

Having an enquiring mind and all the only mistake I made was asking exactly what was going to be done just before the procedure. He told me... in graphic detail... I noticed the room getting smaller and him and the nurse getting further away, a bit I was zooming out with the wrong lens hood fitted.... After they had elevated my feet and stopped me from fainting they awarded me the 'Wuss of the week' award for passing out before I even got into the procedure room. The actual procedure was fine though.
 
BT Bob said:
I had it done in 2000 - never looked back. had it done in a local GP's surgery under a local - in and out in under 1/2 hour. Simples. I bit achey for a few days after, but no swelling or bruising.
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Do remember though, the 'local GP's surgery' where @Lynton lives is also the Vets and the local wine bar at weekends :D
 
Jeff Watson said:
Yeah!! Trying to jerk off into the stupid little phial they provide is a real joke. :wideyed:
.
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The trick is to have a RMW and decant it into the phial afterwards.

No problem with the actual op, but it seems that i'm in the unlucky 1% who periodically have achey testes as a result... tbh this isnt that big a deal it doesnt feel like you've been kicked or anything, its just a slightly dull ache which comes and goes and lasts for maybe 5 minutes
 
Yv said:
Do remember though, the 'local GP's surgery' where @Lynton lives is also the Vets and the local wine bar at weekends :D
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And the "surgeon" in question once ran the local Dewhurst :lol:
 
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Went to a Christmas do in December and stood next to a mate in the next stall when I heard him moaning - asked him if he was OK (as you do) and he told me he had had a vasectomy a few days before. When asked what it was like he said "OK until you want to pee then it is like being kicked in the nads.

Despite this a few months later I was booked in for gelding.

Went to the local private hospital and was told to undress and put the gown on - First error - put it on with the opening at the front and had to swap it over - bloody stupid as I was now walking around with a bare arse and covered nads.

Go into the theatre, laid on bed and see 2 nurses one stunning the other not so but she was boss. Said I am nervous - worried that that stunning one might cause an 'adverse' reaction spoke to the older one who said "Don't worry - keep your eyes on the CLOCK - 5 mins each side and all will be over"

She instructed the younger one to paint the area with brown stuff - as it was a tad warm I whimpered "OW OW etc its burning!"

The older nurse said to the young one "Blow it ! No nurse I meant the swab!"

Then I was in real fear as the surgeon entered singing "Here we go gathering nuts in May" quietly and, IMHO somewhat sadistically. He then set to.

Everything seemed to go OK - as predicted - injection, slice, fumble, snip, sizzle, stitch - first side 4 mins then it went wrong - next side - injection, slice, fumble, OW OW inject, fumble, OW OW, inject ...... etc for 40 mins before final snip, sizzle and stitch!

Rest a few minutes and vacate the table for the next patient/victim, pull on tight drawers and go home.

BTW this was 11.00 am.

Get home and straight on sofa for a little sympathy and a cuppa - then it hit me. Apart from the discomfort on the table there had been no real pain but my memory returned to that fateful meeting in the gents with my colleague back in December - so, as a born again coward, I was worried about visiting the bathroom so legs crossed and bladder like a basket ball I hung on and on and on and, around 8pm , just before the inevitable explosion of urine I waddled to the bathroom and waiting for the agony I released.

Not a bloody twinge! - no pain whatsoever! and back in action in 2 days! Needless to say my mate is actually no longer a mate.
 
big soft moose said:
No problem with the actual op, but it seems that i'm in the unlucky 1% who periodically have achey testes as a result... tbh this isnt that big a deal it doesnt feel like you've been kicked or anything, its just a slightly dull ache which comes and goes and lasts for maybe 5 minutes
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Schoolboy sniggering apart, this is a good point. Also, assuming you check the jewels regularly, they may well feel slightly different afterwards - I spoke to my GP about it and he pointed out there was a lot of knotted tubing this there now and that's what I was feeling...

Back into schoolboy sniggering mode - getting a letter from your doc telling you it's OK to have a "legal" J. Arthur is pretty cool ;)

Edit: It's also worth shaving yourself before you go, but leave ot till the night before as if they grow back too much the nursie will have to do it again - and they itch like buggery when they do grow back :(
 
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BT Bob said:
Edit: It's also worth shaving yourself before you go, but leave ot till the night before as if they grow back too much the nursie will have to do it again - and they itch like buggery when they do grow back :(
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Hot wax Lynton.
It's painless....honest. ;)
 
Best advice I had was to buy some undies that were a size too small. As stated above. letting them swing isn't the best thing to do :rolleyes:

The pulling sensation also described above made me feel a little sick, mine were tied so luckily didn't have to smell the burning.

Most embarrassing part for me (apart from the wife laughing at the sample production), was handing said sample to the receptionist at the doctors, where she held it up for all to see and asked what it was :eek:
 
BT Bob said:
Edit: It's also worth shaving yourself before you go, but leave ot till the night before as if they grow back too much the nursie will have to do it again - and they itch like buggery when they do grow back :(
Click to expand...

They didnt shave mine , and i'm realitive hirsuite down there (this was laser not tying)
 
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