The longest I've spent in one country abroad was two months in Portugal, without doubt it was a different experience to someone having a week's holiday in the Algarve.
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Absolutely. The reality of adapting to a different culture (where pretty much everything is new and sometimes alien) can be quite strange. I've known friends who have been to Australia on holiday, and then gone through huge upheaval to move over there permanently and to enjoy a better life - only to find that their vision of the dream didn't really exist. The thing with holidays is that you are programmed to enjoy yourself - the places you go to and the activities you take part in are designed to give you pleasure and good memories.
When I was younger my father was in the Forces and as you can imagine we got moved around the globe each year. It can be really exciting at first, a bit like a holiday, and then it becomes tougher as you try to adapt and make new friends. There will always be things that you love and dislike about a place you have lived in. For example, when we lived in Germany it was during the Cold War and that was pretty interesting. I went to school on the RAF base at Bruggen but what I really wanted was German friends, not British ones who I could find anywhere. But it was really hard trying to get to know people in the village - not because they all disliked us, there were just different social conventions (back then you couldn't pop in to see someone if you were passing - you had to make an appointment first). Whenever we encountered behaviour which seemed harsh or even rude, we didn't take it personally, we just put it down to the fact that things were different and we had stuff to learn.
I think the British are in fact extremely welcoming of other cultures (although you will find bigots) and are very accommodating of the respective differences. I think the British go out of their way to be sympathetic to cultural and religious needs for example - that's very much evident in the workplace and I think most British people, if hosting visitors of different nationalities, will do their best to make sure that what is offered is appropriate. But in my travels, I have been expected to experience and enjoy what my hosts normally serve their guests, and to respect their customs, rather than have special treatment being afforded to me. I can't help feeling that that has helped me to have a much more enjoyable, engaging and interesting experience abroad - and that is exactly how I would want it.
I think things are simpler when the cultural divide appears to be at its biggest - where there is no common language, and probably no common way of doing things. This forces a different level of mutual respect and acknowledgement - and we know that we have to be aware of the local customs. But between English-speaking nations, such as America or Australia, I think it is more complicated at times with the 'bigger nations' perhaps expecting the smaller one to be a close facsimile of itself.
Just as there are things I found unpalatable during my time in the States, there are plenty of things that I wish were different here in the UK. I think the British are often bitter and resentful to each other - there is nothing worse than seeing someone else's success (hence the car keying I referred to earlier) and in my experience it is unlikely that your friends will celebrate with you. In the States it was quite different - they love success, they love successful people. If you are successful, then perhaps they can be as well - it's a great motivator. I really like that - when I was there, I felt I was able to achieve so much more than I could achieve back home, where being good at something is almost embarrassing. I envied the American way of self-promotion, which would be viewed as bragging over here. People were so much more confident, and that is seen as cockiness in the UK. But when I lived in California I saw crime at every turn - shooting, stealing, lying. It was so commonplace that people often assumed the worst of you and the openness which was so endearing one day might be humiliating the next. I saw an obsession with money above human values. I saw Californian women base their choice of boyfriend on how much money he earned, and men choose their partners on the size of their breasts. A generalisation? Perhaps, but I saw it all the time. I saw people victimised in the workplace for failing to share the religious ideals of the company employing them, and others suffering social exclusion for failing to attend the local church regularly (I am so grateful we are a secular society). Again, cultural differences, but nevertheless things that I think we need to be aware of on both sides, whilst perhaps understanding their origins.
Right, I'll try that!
