If you could only have one type of toilet paper, what would you choose?

DorsetDude

DorsetDude

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LIDL value, twin ply, triple ply, quilted, aloe vera, Izal, bidet, garden hose etc?

:sleep:
 
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stupar said:
Where's the option for a Bidet (or the garden hose depending on how posh you are)
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With the multi choice spray pattern head? Jet, flat, shower etc. Now there's a thought! Spoil yourself with that.
 
Andrex with the puppies embossed on it - you can feel them doing the final, polishing lick!
(Actually, I prefer the normal Andrex rather than pooping on a puppy.)
 
Nod said:
Andrex with the puppies embossed on it - you can feel them doing the final, polishing lick!
(Actually, I prefer the normal Andrex rather than pooping on a puppy.)
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Speaking of sick puppies!! :eek:
 
Sun/dailymail/telegraph/guardian makes little difference when cut into squares get them when the promo offers are on :)
 
Don't bother just grab some passing peasant and use them to lick it clean.
 
I use the cat. Soft, tickly and self cleaning.

I might try the Starship Enterprise. I hear it's good for getting rid of clingons.
 
The Daily Mail.......
 
the poodle ,when i can catch him ,think he's getting wise to now though ,he hides when i go for a dump :banghead:
 
Hugh Jarse said:
The Daily Mail.......
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I hope you steal it from the returns pile rather than giving them real money for it and boosting their circulation figures!
 
A bear was taking a dump in the forest when a rabbit walked by.
The bear said, "Hey rabbit, does s*** stick to your fur?"

"No," replied the rabbit.

"Good" said the bear, he picked up the rabbit and wiped his arse with him.
 
Nod said:
I hope you steal it from the returns pile rather than giving them real money for it and boosting their circulation figures!
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Sadly there are parts of Somerset where the DM is a big seller..... Burnham on Sea as an example. Full of coffin dodgers in God's waiting room. Ergo... many, many copies available in the recycling piles. So I recycle them
 
Cobra said:
A bear was taking a dump in the forest when a rabbit walked by.
The bear said, "Hey rabbit, does s*** stick to your fur?"

"No," replied the rabbit.

"Good" said the bear, he picked up the rabbit and wiped his arse with him.
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I'm sure we've had a similar discussion before... Surely you want the faeces to stick to the wiping medium rather than remain where it is?
 
Nod said:
Surely you want the faeces to stick to the wiping medium rather than remain where it is?
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Very few jokes are funny if analysed.
Most people take them at face value :p
 
Well as this thread is dropping into the toilet....

A girl came up to me in a bar - short skirt, bust like ripe fruit, hair in a pony tail. "What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?" she breathed.

"I'd say 'neither am I'."

She raised her eyebrows. "Really? I'm wearing none because it gives men like you..." she licked her lips, "easy access..."

"Oh?" I replied. "I've got none on because I sh1t myself in the gents."
 
What a bunch of Jessie's. In the old days we could not afford toilet paper. A good wipe with a bunch of stinging nettles was the best we could hope for.




But it made men of us ... Even the women!
 
hypnotic said:
What a bunch of Jessie's. In the old days we could not afford toilet paper. A good wipe with a bunch of stinging nettles was the best we could hope for.
But it made men of us ... Even the women!
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But then you need to find a Dock leaf to take out the sting, its better just to go for the Dock leaf IMO :D
 
When I used to do shopping for my gran (now passed bless her) she religious chose Izal, you know that stuff they used to supply in public toilets that was like baking paper! Why anyone would choose that I have no idea I guess it goes back to the war days? Personally I find Andrex doesn't flush that well so tend to go tescos own!
 
Andrex quilts nice and soft for my botty :thumbs:

( the plus of course is that your finger doesn't go through it at the first pass :D )
 
Wee man said:
New not recycled!
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I know what you mean.... washing the used stuff out only for it to disintegrate if it rains while it is pegged out to dry is a lot of hard work......
 
I well remember my great grandmothers outside thunder box, no rabbits to wipe your 'arris on but plenty of rats!

I personally like a bit of tlc these days so its Andrex shea butter for me, cures the ol itchy ring a treat
 
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