how do you forget...

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englandshottest2

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how do you forget about somebody you fell madly in love with and were madly loved back by....(all to find that suddenly they've 'disappeared')? i know this must be the cheesiest thread anybody has ever posted, but thought, oh heck why not ask a bunch of fellow tog geeks :D & :(
 
you dont. you just learn to live with them not being there. which is very weird i can still smell my ex's perfumes on my stuff. oh and you play a lot of phil collins songs
 
lol :D strange thing is he lived in your town too :P
 
ahhh (lol)!!! like the difference of versions there
 
englandshottest2 said:
how do you forget about somebody you fell madly in love with and were madly loved back by....(all to find that suddenly they've 'disappeared')? i know this must be the cheesiest thread anybody has ever posted, but thought, oh heck why not ask a bunch of fellow tog geeks :D & :(
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very very slowly and painfully
 
englandshottest2 said:
how do you forget about somebody you fell madly in love with and were madly loved back by....(all to find that suddenly they've 'disappeared')? i know this must be the cheesiest thread anybody has ever posted, but thought, oh heck why not ask a bunch of fellow tog geeks :D & :(
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You can't, nor should you. Love is a wonderful thing. What you should be doing is to recognise what's around you now, and embrace it.
 
hoooo there is a long story from me about that, but im not going there because we are just getting back together and i dont want to put a hex on it :D
 
I'd say you probably will never forget, but any pain eases as time passes.
 
I wish we could all share the hurt to make it go away. Hard as it is now, just remember that it WILL get better, little by little it WILL get better. Then one day you'll look back, the pain will be gone and you'll be able to smile about it.
 
I think what everyone says is right - but I think what Marky H says is true - you should never forget - as it means you'll forget being happy too. You just have to learn to cope without them there and move on to better things!

It does get easier honest! :)

Matt
 
While I agree with all of the above to a certain extent, there will come a time when you know you are ready to move on. Some people it comes very quickly, some it takes longer. The length of time is NOT proportional to the amount of love you felt for the other person or the amount of love they felt for you. It's related to the way you work as a person and the things you have around you to help you through.

Whether you decide to talk it out with other people or keep it inside and deal with it internally is your decision however. Loss of a relationship is extremely close to the emotions felt and described as "grief" - so it's very similar to losing a loved one by death. Think if you have ever had to deal with this, what you did to help you and try to do similar things now.

What you may see, is a change in the things you do - so in a year or so, start analysing your photography before, during and after the loss and see if you can notice a change in what you are photographing, the way you are photgraphing it. It's a very interesting concept - what we do and how we do it is directly related to the things that happen in our lives.

I need to stop watching Frasier.
 
What do you mean by "disappeared"? Do you know where they are, or have they just vanished? If the latter it sounds like they've screwed up big time and just don't know how to face the music. It's easier for some people to run away...

That said, never torment yourself over a loss. Everything happens for a reason and it's often not until much later on you realise just why something happened. You might also take comfort in changing your life around, be it rearranging furniture, a new hobby, new wardrobe, etc. Just try not to wallow in what has passed...
 
thanks all for replies :D...nice to hear and know most people have been there done that! I have as well, just not quite as 'deep' as this was! well, to make a long story short, this particular gentleman (well, if one could call him that lol) and I were 'going out' for quite a while, and when we werent 'together' had always chatted for hours and hours each day of every possible moment (was so sweet to get calls at random times of the day, and 100's of txt's saying such sweet things!) and then literally all of the sudden, no calls, no emails, no txts, no nothing :(. So worried as I was, I called him and asked what had happened...in a calm manner he just said nothing like i was nuts, and i was crazy, almost as if though there was no difference between this point and before (screwed me up big time! lol as i knew there was such a drastic change it wasn't even funny!). Then a few weeks later the excuse was work...which okay yea that's understandable I agree work is a big thing! But I know when I've been busy, I always found 10seconds to tell somebody 'hi'!, etc. And well to make a long story short, this went on for months, I just kept putting it to the back of my head thinking all was okay, but then the lack of 'i luv u' really made it obvious :(, though he continued to say it after I did (just to be polite I guess) whenever I would speak with him. Just without any explanation, etc. he just stopped the way we had been carrying on....:( so naturally I knew it was not something to smile about.
I did have the great pleasure of photographing him once...I think I got one of the best shots I ever took from that session, just wish I could do it again :(...amazing how it is when such beauty and perfection stands before you, just sort of freeze without knowing what to do, to think that it shall be impossible to even capture a fraction of that person's stunning appeal.
 
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I go scrub my face, have a cup of coffee and finish waking up, knowing full well that Ms Blalock will be back tonight :)
 
englandshottest2 said:
thanks all for replies :D...nice to hear and know most people have been there done that! I have as well, just not quite as 'deep' as this was! well, to make a long story short, this particular gentleman (well, if one could call him that lol) and I were 'going out' for quite a while, and when we werent 'together' had always chatted for hours and hours each day of every possible moment (was so sweet to get calls at random times of the day, and 100's of txt's saying such sweet things!) and then literally all of the sudden, no calls, no emails, no txts, no nothing :(. So worried as I was, I called him and asked what had happened...in a calm manner he just said nothing like i was nuts, and i was crazy, almost as if though there was no difference between this point and before (screwed me up big time! lol as i knew there was such a drastic change it wasn't even funny!). Then a few weeks later the excuse was work...which okay yea that's understandable I agree work is a big thing! But I know when I've been busy, I always found 10seconds to tell somebody 'hi'!, etc. And well to make a long story short, this went on for months, I just kept putting it to the back of my head thinking all was okay, but then the lack of 'i luv u' really made it obvious :(, though he continued to say it after I did (just to be polite I guess) whenever I would speak with him. Just without any explanation, etc. he just stopped the way we had been carrying on....:( so naturally I knew it was not something to smile about.
I did have the great pleasure of photographing him once...I think I got one of the best shots I ever took from that session, just wish I could do it again :(...amazing how it is when such beauty and perfection stands before you, just sort of freeze without knowing what to do, to think that it shall be impossible to even capture a fraction of that person's stunning appeal.
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i'm sorry to hear this. you must be terribly upset. all i can say, and i sincerely hope it helps is that no matter how many times your heart is broken there is always someone who will come into your life and will put it back together for you.
keep your chin up!:thumbs:
 
^^^ thanks :)
being a foreigner that i am in a rather 'faraway' country after not the longest of time, seems to make it even harder as i haven't really anybody to tell things to / take mind off stuff with, so kinda feels like (very very cheezey but bear with me, lol) all alone in a far away place, even though I came from Texas, people would say there isn't a huge deal of difference, etc. (believe me there IS!), now just seems like it's back to when I first came here, so 'unsettled' and 'up-rooted,' and 'lost.'
 
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I knew a girl from the age of 15 (me, that is) and I always knew she was the one for me. I was so in love. I watched her get used, abused ( I took her to hospital once) and then married. I was the wedding photographer, even worked with her husband. I was present when their first child was born, and then one evening she came to see me, desperate to stay the night (for support and warmth, not due to my being totally irresistible ) and we spent the night chatting, me feeling 10 years of love being allowed to spill out. Over time, we ended up sleeping together, husband left, then came back and woke me up by tipping me out of bed and smashing my face with an angry fist. I went to hug him, so he hit me again (remember, he was a friend). After a really hard 6 months, of me dropping everything I had to help her (I even got a job at the car factory so that I could help support her kids) it turned out that I was being a fool. I came home one day, with a big present for them all, to find her in bed with 2 black guys. All she could say was - (you ready for this..)..'It's true what they say about black men'
I left, so utterly heart broken (I am a big boy, I tell you ) and have still found it hard to drive down that street, though I doubt she even lives there any longer.
Recently, I found some pictures of her and the kids that I was almost a father figure for. The tears fell, I remembered so many feelings and I also felt that maybe time had done its thing.
I guess that I am trying to say that it will all fade back, but not go away - you will remember with a loving hurt, a reminder of how much your heart can feel and hold.
Sadly a similar thing happened to my heart a few years later - some blokes are just so stupid, eh...?
 
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Not stupid Steve - just open, caring and willing to take your chances.

You have to take risks to make gains, it's just unfortunately taking risks also means you get hurt! :( But if you don't take risks you don't gain!
 
well, as the saying goes- "better to have loved, than to have not loved at all."
 
it does but, it doesnt always feel that way *opens another no-alcohol becks*
 
I was with my last girlfriend for 10 years, she was my absolute world. We had the whole thing, house, dogs, the rock in the ring i gave her. Then one day after a bank holiday away with her mother, she came home and told me she didn't love me anymore and wanted to break up. I was devistated, it absolutely tore me apart. I drove that night from Devon to my parents in Stourbridge, the Midlands, and just fell apart when my mother hugged me. The next day, after a real crappy night, i woke up, and decided to get over it, not easy, but i think it's the strongest i've ever been. I started working on a plan to travel, and got to looking at places to go. I got over it in the end, it took me six or seven months, and i never did go travelling:lol: My best bit of advice, spend time with your friends, real close ones. Go out lot's, drink some, and have loads of fun. That way it can ease things.:thumbs:
 
steveinspain said:
I knew a girl from the age of 15 (me, that is) and I always knew she was the one for me. I was so in love. I watched her get used, abused ( I took her to hospital once) and then married. I was the wedding photographer, even worked with her husband. I was present when their first child was born, and then one evening she came to see me, desperate to stay the night (for support and warmth, not due to my being totally irresistible ) and we spent the night chatting, me feeling 10 years of love being allowed to spill out. Over time, we ended up sleeping together, husband left, then came back and woke me up by tipping me out of bed and smashing my face with an angry fist. I went to hug him, so he hit me again (remember, he was a friend). After a really hard 6 months, of me dropping everything I had to help her (I even got a job at the car factory so that I could help support her kids) it turned out that I was being a fool. I came home one day, with a big present for them all, to find her in bed with 2 black guys. All she could say was - (you ready for this..)..'It's true what they say about black men'
I left, so utterly heart broken (I am a big boy, I tell you ) and have still found it hard to drive down that street, though I doubt she even lives there any longer.
Recently, I found some pictures of her and the kids that I was almost a father figure for. The tears fell, I remembered so many feelings and I also felt that maybe time had done its thing.
I guess that I am trying to say that it will all fade back, but not go away - you will remember with a loving hurt, a reminder of how much your heart can feel and hold.
Sadly a similar thing happened to my heart a few years later - some blokes are just so stupid, eh...?
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You sleep with your best friends wife, you catch her in bed with 2 guys and you feel hard done by!! :cuckoo:
Sorry m8 but i think you got exactly what you deserved.
Karma is a great equaliser.
 
I shamelessly copied this from someones signature somewhere- but I feel It rings so true-

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."
 
wobblebottom said:
I shamelessly copied this from someones signature somewhere- but I feel It rings so true-

There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about the people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."
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That is just wonderful! :thumbs: What a great quote, and how very true!
 
my first love died in the Nairobi Bomb blast in 1998. I didn't really have closure as the parents and i didnt get along and it was a bit of a taboo relationship. I wasnt invited to the funeral, it wasnt even local to where we lived.
I am married now and its has been 10 years since but i havent got closure really. There is a memorial in Nairobi with the list of the victims. I feel the only way to get closure is to see her name on the memorial. How can i do that now? I think the wife won't understand and even though i was back in Nairobi with the wife in January i couldn't get away long enough to get to the memorial.
I guess it will have to wait for another time.

I know some will say i shouldn't need closure as i have moved on (which i have!) Hearing it from people she dies and seeing proof are 2 different things. it wont change my future in any way.
 
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33L's situation is tragic and I can well sympathise, but for everyone else.... finding someone else and shagging like minks worked for me. ;)
 
I am so glad i didn't put myself right in the middle of a serious relationship when i was younger, i know for a fact that it would have messed with me for a long time.

Tony :)
 
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