Creativity and depression

I don't suffer from depression but I am definitely wired up wrong to your normal person. Spent most of my life on drugs and always felt different and drugs was a nice little escape. Been clean nearly 6 years and only found photography about 8 months ago and feel I found something I can escape to and put my my energy into.

I must say life is bloody great and I've not got time to get depressed but do have a good understanding of the condition.

P.S Degio just about to catch train now so i'm coming to show you a good time.
 
Diego Garcia said:
That is the biggest paradox with depression. It is an isolating illness to as you want people to call but when they do, you have nothing to say. People see greatness in what i/we do, but all I see are bad pictures that are getting worse. I have lost loads of people through depression, the greatest of which was my wife. I can never replace her, but I don't try.

I am going back on anti depressants asap as I am sinking day by day and I have started having repeat suicide thoughts and last night I sat up til 4am worrying about my camera kit. I used to paint walls in my flat....
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Very little I can say, except I did'nt want you to feel your post had been ignored. Much the same as my experiences mind. Except that I no longer use any strong medication, I found it allways made matters worse for me in the long term.

Equally hospitilisation with a bunch of other patients all on anti deppressants was not the ideal enviroment for any relief. The phsyco therapy was useless, though entertaining, that too can be dangerous.
 
Snapper73 said:
I don't suffer from depression but I am definitely wired up wrong to your normal person. Spent most of my life on drugs and always felt different and drugs was a nice little escape. Been clean nearly 6 years and only found photography about 8 months ago and feel I found something I can escape to and put my my energy into.

I must say life is bloody great and I've not got time to get depressed but do have a good understanding of the condition.

P.S Degio just about to catch train now so i'm coming to show you a good time.
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Cool words mate.

For those not in the know, Snapper and I used to 'roll' together back in the in and around BS7. We then drifted apart and met up by coincidence when we were on the same 'group' holiday in 1997. I was dreading it as I knew he had serious issues with drugs however, we got on amazingly and have been brilliant mates ever since. A few gaps in between but a mate who you can not see for three months, but pick up from where you left off without the bull. He is a true solid guy and makes other people feel great and his life is all the richer for dealing with what he has done. Makes for a great read!

As for the good time, we are off to focus! :thumbs:
 
toonamp said:
Very little I can say, except I did'nt want you to feel your post had been ignored. Much the same as my experiences mind. Except that I no longer use any strong medication, I found it allways made matters worse for me in the long term.

Equally hospitilisation with a bunch of other patients all on anti deppressants was not the ideal enviroment for any relief. The phsyco therapy was useless, though entertaining, that too can be dangerous.
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Thanks!
 
Ewan said:
Is there anyone here who has been helped by a diagnosis of depression, as in it has helped you to understand your ups and downs and get a clearer focus on what's happening to you, or would you say it's made it worse as you perhaps feel like its harder to overcome now you know what it is?
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Not depression, but when I was 9 (ish), I was locked in a hospital for children with behavioral problems. This was back when ADHD entered the "health charts", been there ever since ;)

Anyway, after 9 months of being stuck in the same ward, I was diagnosed with what I now know to be an "extreme" case of ADHD. Back then I knew not what it meant, I just accepted I was a bad kid, and I continued to go off the rails until I got my girlfriend pregnant when we were 17...

All these years later, ADHD is still going strong, and I have gone full circle from not caring or understanding it as a kid, to wanting to be normal as a teenager and young adult, to embracing it as an adult. ADHD is clearly much easier to deal with than depression. All it means is, I am on permanent speed, and I overreact and take excitement from things, way more than I should. I get obsessed, compulsive and absolutely determined to get my own way. I am also extremely sensitive, over sensitive in fact, and I struggle to behave in an appropriate manner, anywhere. In short, I am an arrogant, obnoxious, ****** who lives day to day swinging on chairs, tapping fingers, blurting out crude jokes, and just being hyper and over the top, without ever stopping...and when someone tells me off for it, I go in an almighty huff due to my over sensitivity. Breaking it all down has taken me a long time, and I could now write an essay on exactly how ADHD affects me, and the people around me. I know how I am different, and I know how to use those differences to my advantage. The only thing I can't and won't do, is suppress it, or try and find a way to turn the switch to off. I have it, I love it, and I do not want it to go away.

When I try and imagine replacing my ADHD with DEPRESSION, it does not bear thinking about. It seems to be the polar opposite condition, and I wish I could offer some words of wisdom on how to deal with it. All I can say, obsess over it and try and become an expert on it, maybe then you will learn how to control and tame it. Dunno the answers :(

Gary.
 
I've never done drugs. Except endorphins :) nature's high. When I was younger I used to run and play a lot of sports. A 10 mile training run was my way of relaxing! I could tell you that it takes three minutes for my body to start producing endorphins and I can happily get as high as a kite on them. When I got older and could not run because my knees were wrecked, I learned to drive fast, ride big bikes and scuba dive. All very controlled but I love scaring the **** out of myself.

I always say it's when I really know I'm alive.

The one thing that does seem to get me is SAD. I've got a lamp now that we jokingly call "Roswell" at home and I get plonked in front of that when I get down. I don't think you could call it depression but I am prone to getting really rather unlike myself at the end of autumn.
 
SimonTALM said:
I'm very sorry but I did actually laugh out loud when I read that :lol:
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I actually wrote him a letter years later, explaining that as a teenager I did self harm [I'm 24 atm] but not to be worried that he missed it or didnt see it nor understand it, that noone did.

However, I had just finished delivering a speech about understanding self-harm from a self-harmers point of view to the Prison Guards at Wakefield Prison!!! And I had "turned out okay" and that if it was something that the school was willing to speak about then I would go in and speak to them about it.

Never heard nothing back which was a shame.
 
dellipher said:
I actually wrote him a letter years later, explaining that as a teenager I did self harm [I'm 24 atm] but not to be worried that he missed it or didnt see it nor understand it, that noone did.

However, I had just finished delivering a speech about understanding self-harm from a self-harmers point of view to the Prison Guards at Wakefield Prison!!! And I had "turned out okay" and that if it was something that the school was willing to speak about then I would go in and speak to them about it.

Never heard nothing back which was a shame.
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That's sad :'( I do wonder if they thought you might glamorise self harm (as in look at how well you turn out if you do type thing). As in the teacher, I suppose on reflection he may have recognised it but didn't know what to do about it, I suspect there is a lack of training for teachers in this type of thing and he may have been concerned he could have made it worse with the wrong approach :thinking:.
 
AliB said:
The one thing that does seem to get me is SAD. I've got a lamp now that we jokingly call "Roswell" at home and I get plonked in front of that when I get down. I don't think you could call it depression but I am prone to getting really rather unlike myself at the end of autumn.
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When you look at where we got to in a very short period of time in terms of 24 hour living under artificial lights I'm not surprised winter brings on a a bit of the blues. It wasn't that long ago generationally when we were living to the sun (as in rising at sunrise and going to bed at sunset).
 
Tried my best, but egnored,.
Knowing what causes depression.so removed my comments.



. . Must be that clicky thing.::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
Hi Col,
I have IBS too and was on triptafan for a few weeks and it really messed me up, the IBS was find but it killed my head. I was quite 'relaxed' before - some call it slow, and fairly Dyspraxic and I misreacted to the drug made my dispraxia really really bad. So if your on pills and they aren't helping or someone around you thinks they aren't do go back to the doctors, took me 6 months to normalise after triptafan and cost me a grade off each of my Alevels and having my mum brought in because school decided I was on drugs.

I don't get depression, I get a bit miserable occasionally and I think everyone does but I have a friend who does and I feel for all of you. It sucks when I'm down but I've watched her and it really really does suck to be depressed so Kudos to everyone who lives with depression
 
Olanzapine & Venlafaxine. Just given my wife her night time doses as she suffers horribly from depression. It comes and goes over the years from the (current) suicidal lows, virtual insanity and bipolar 'high' moments.

Having lived with this for many years and spoken with people who 'think' they have depression all I can say is there is a world of difference between being merely a bit unhappy with your current lot and full blown clinical depression- which usually involves weeks or months of treatment in a physciatric ward.

Sure there are varying degrees of this illness but I do get annoyed with people who claim they have 'depression' when they have no clue how bad it can be at its worst. Anyone who suffers from depression has all my sympathy.
 
Without wanting to cause a storm.

How many Bipolar,manic depressives, self harmers or generally unwell people who have voiced thier ailments in this thread are claiming invalidity/disability allowance for said complaints?
 
fracster said:
Without wanting to cause a storm.

How many Bipolar,manic depressives, self harmers or generally unwell people who have voiced thier ailments in this thread are claiming invalidity/disability allowance for said complaints?
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Planning a cull, Ade?
 
petemc said:
. For all I know I could just be insane :D
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According to my therapist insane people don't sit around and ask themselves 'am i insane' they just are.
 
Flash In The Pan said:
Planning a cull, Ade?
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Noooo, I`m just wondering how big a problem these type of ailments are and if people suffering get any form of help,wether financial or otherwise?
 
fracster said:
Noooo, I`m just wondering how big a problem these type of ailments are and if people suffering get any form of help,wether financial or otherwise?
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I'm not sure how it works now or whether diagnosed folk get benefits, but I think having the right psychological treatment should be sort after, that's the most important action IMO. Someone to talk to and suggest educated therapy.

My Dad had benefits for a few months, small incapacity payments that were cut off for no reason at all (circa 1992). His treatments were extremely insufficient, both the medication was harmful and the offered therapist was a cowboy at best, he should not have been treating anyone with depression, maybe anyone at all for that matter.
At that time, my family had generally found our local GP's and the treatment on offer appalling.
Myself, I have experienced negligence with any treatment from the NHS in Birmingham, so I would maybe suggest paying for health care if the situation is critical, not always an available option but I would seriously consider it.
 
fracster said:
Noooo, I`m just wondering how big a problem these type of ailments are and if people suffering get any form of help,wether financial or otherwise?
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Free help is available either via charities or the NHS (access to counsellors and psychiatrists) , as far as I know. Financial help? I very much doubt it, although I could be wrong. I guess if someone is signed off on long term sick, on a consistent basis, they might get it, but I doubt it. My mum was locked in the loonie bin 3 times, for 6 months to a year each time. When she came out, she was expected to go straight back into work, with the only help being a social worker every few weeks and a free ambulance if she went cuckoo again. No money was available other than the normal benefits.

Gary.
 
Tomas Whitehouse said:
I'm not sure how it works now or whether diagnosed folk get benefits, but I think having the right psychological treatment should be sort after, that's the most important action IMO. Someone to talk to and suggest educated therapy.

My Dad had benefits for a few months, small incapacity payments that were cut off for no reason at all (circa 1992). His treatments were extremely insufficient, both the medication was harmful and the offered therapist was a cowboy at best, he should not have been treating anyone with depression, maybe anyone at all for that matter.
At that time, my family had generally found our local GP's and the treatment on offer appalling.
Myself I have had only negligent treatment from the NHS in Birmingham, so I would maybe suggest paying for health care if the situation is critical, not always an option but I would seriously consider it.
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It's a difficult one for GPs, they are, by nature General Practitioners, it's a bit like taking a Ferrari to your local garage, they may know the basics of maintenance and repair for a wide range of cars, but they can't be expected to have indepth knowledge of the intimate workings of a highly-specialised engine.
 
Flash In The Pan said:
It's a difficult one for GPs, they are, by nature General Practitioners, it's a bit like taking a Ferrari to your local garage, they may know the basics of maintenance and repair for a wide range of cars, but they can't be expected to have indepth knowledge of the intimate workings of a highly-specialised engine.
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Quite right Graham, I agree completely but that wasn't the issue though. It was quite complex and I couldn't go into specifics here. Let's just say the Ferrari wasn't looked upon as a Ferrari, more of a push bike with a flat tire ;)
 
Well I am depressed just spent the last hour trying to fit my strap to my new 50D and I still cant do it :help:

Didnt mean to be so flippant regarding the posted subject. My wife is a long term sufferer of depression and will probably be on medication for the rest of her life. While it is not easy being a depressive it is also not easy living with one but we have been together a long time and that helps. When we were much younger I found it difficult to understand and would often accuse her of self pity, I now of course know better and am quite ashamed of those days. She is actually a very strong woman and I admire her attitude to life despite her affliction.

Steve
 
Wow, this has been an enlightening thread! So many issues have been raised and I have once again had my faith in human nature confirmed:)

The World Health Organisation estimate that 1 in 4 of the general population will experience a mental health issue at some point in their life. 1 in 10 of those people will end their lives at their own hands...

My story is that I have worked as a registered mental health Nurse for over 20 years. I have also experienced episodes of Depression severe enough to prevent me from working. (the longest being 7 months). My mother had episodes of Depression and Hypomania (highly elevated and prolonged mood) so I feel that I may be able to contribute to these discussions. She has the diagnosis of Bipolar Affective Disorder (BPAD) often referred to as "bipolar" or "manic depression"

From the quantity of posters on this thread, it would appear that the site has a high proportion of people who have experienced mental health issues - whether the proportion is higher than the 1 in 4 mentioned above is debateable.

There has always been debate about familial links (hereditary or not) and the subsequent viewpoints of whether mental health problems are due to chemical imbalances or not (nature vs nurture) My experience has been that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) has helped, medication has helped, and psychtherapy has helped. I do not believe that there is a single cause of Depression and I also believe that there is not a single cure for Depression. It truely is a case of horses for courses - IMHO.

To the posters that have laid their health issues out on a public forum; I applaud you :clap: This is one of the best ways to help lessen the impact of stigma and negativity that surrounds our lives.

I think that is enough of a ramble for now :lol: and I am currently awaiting a stool to assist me with the descent from my elevated equinine :lol:.....
 
steve_v said:
Well I am depressed just spent the last hour trying to fit my strap to my new 50D and I still cant do it :help:
Steve
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Now I have got it on and its the wrong way round:bang:

Steve
 
:lol::lol::clap::clap::lol:
 
fracster said:
Without wanting to cause a storm.

How many Bipolar,manic depressives, self harmers or generally unwell people who have voiced thier ailments in this thread are claiming invalidity/disability allowance for said complaints?
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Like backache it's one of those illnesses with few if any physical symptoms. I have no doubt there are some claimants within the benefits system who have no idea what real depression can be like. According to a familly friend who works in the DWP some of her 'depressed' clients can be seen out on the Town, enjoying themselves at weekends. The miraculous cure ends on Mondays......
 
Diego Garcia said:
That is the biggest paradox with depression. It is an isolating illness to as you want people to call but when they do, you have nothing to say. People see greatness in what i/we do, but all I see are bad pictures that are getting worse. I have lost loads of people through depression, the greatest of which was my wife. I can never replace her, but I don't try.

I am going back on anti depressants asap as I am sinking day by day and I have started having repeat suicide thoughts and last night I sat up til 4am worrying about my camera kit. I used to paint walls in my flat....
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I hope something happens to get you back on track :)

Lurch said:
According to my therapist insane people don't sit around and ask themselves 'am i insane' they just are.
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Maybe I'm just *that* insane ;)
 
Just thought I would put my input in here.
It’s quite interesting to note that ‘depression. Is a relatively new phrase which entered the lexicon of language when Ely Lilly the makers of Prozac, launched the product, as part of their marketing strategy they canvassed doctors introducing their drug as a ‘cure for depressive ideation, they then linked a clutch of conditions together and called it depression.
Depression itself does not exist, what people suffer from is a wide range of mental health issues , that for the sake of ease and sales of Prozac and other SSRI’s are labelled in this way .
Unfortunately the medical model of mental health is very good at labelling people; fact of the matter is the depressive illness has a wide range of effects and causes.
Dopamine a chemical in the brain which is said to regulate our ability to give attention to one task or situation if produced in the right quantities will produce psychotic presentations, voice hearing waking dreams , many famous creative individuals suffer from increased dopamine levels .
Serotonin, a brain chemical said to alter our mood when depleted or not present will leave individuals in a sad or have a low mood , thus Bi-polar the sea saw of emotions is usually treated with an anti psychotic such as olanzopine and anti depressant like Prozac.
Fact of the matter is that poor mental health will effect almost 1 in 4 of us ,with 1in 100 hearing voices sometimes called schizophrenia (another catch all term reinforced by drug companies )
Finally mental health is on a continuum from the very well to the very ill , every day we wake up further along or down that scale , we all have mental health all the time .
 
I've come to realise that part of the climb to a high, or 'good' period for a depressive is finding an outlet. For me it has been talking to someone who doesn't know my name, who can't see me, can't call me back and can't do much of anything else but listen. Just to be able to sit and open my mouth, letting every thought I have flood the air is an enormous relief, and it gets me through a few more months. Sometimes those months can last longer. If you have never tried them before, I would seriously recommend you do. If you find yourself at a stage where nothing makes sense except not existing anymore, call them. These people are there to listen. Hell you don't even have to be a depressive, they listen to every kind of problem you could possibly imagine. The Samaritans are great great people, and without them I would probably not be here today. Years ago I would have joined in when people scoffed about them, and used them as a tool for a good joke. But now I will stand up and sing their deserved praise. Don't be embarrassed, remember that part I typed above? "talking to someone who doesn't know my name, who can't see me, can't call me back and can't do much of anything else but listen." :)

I've only ever once been on drugs for depression, but the numbness that came with them was enough for me to stop. I don't ever want to feel like that again. I find it worse than the lows of depression. In my life I have spent many many hours and days in thought. I enjoy that and can quite happily entertain myself with my thoughts. It's not something I want to lose at any cost. A couple of years ago I did come close to being hospitalised. If it hadn't been for a call coming through to my doctor to attend a coronary while I was there for my appointment with him, I may well have been sectioned because I had begun to step over the line from depression to something much more serious. The few words my doctor did say to me about going into hospital that day were enough to jolt me back the other way, for long enough to deal with that 'episode'.

Meh... Depression sucks big time. But if you can find a way to stretch those highs to last longer (not manically high) it's a very good start.

Pete, Janice, Del, Diego ... all of you who are suffering or who have in the past... Much love to you. Things do get better, just hang in there long enough to find out.

Now, how about one of my group hugs? :D They also work :D
 
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