A Female's perspective...

jonbeeza

jonbeeza

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I am going out for my morning walk later on, and I do this every day without thinking about getting attacked. I have occasionally thought what it must be like, to be a woman going out and about, and just living in general. I have even thought about it a lot more, with the current news reporting of the many women being attacked.

The news is reporting on the current safety of women walking about, and how to stay safe. This is in light of the news reporting on the woman who has been killed, and the arrest of a policeman in connection with the crime.

I do my best to not frighten women while out walking, if I am walking along the canal path and I meet a lone female, I smile nod and say good morning. I will even walk in a different direction, so as not to alarm a female, should I be walking behind her, or slow down and let her get well ahead of me.

I would never whistle or shout vulgar obscenities to a female, but according to a report on the news, it is very rife, and women are subjected to it on a daily basis.
So I think us fellas need to think a lot more, and stop harassing women. The days of Wolf-whistling has gone.
 
Agree with what you have said and I do similar. I’m not sure it is rife however and the vast majority of women aren’t subjected to it at all, never mind on a daily basis.
What I don’t agree with is feminists being interviewed and blaming all “men”. It is a tiny minority of men, just as it is a tiny minority of women that are subjected to it. Yes it shouldn’t happen and yes something should be done, but let’s not blow it out of all proportion.
 
I had a girlfriend about thirty odd years ago who would be upset if she didn't get wolf-whistled. She would deliberately walk closer to where builders and road-workers were working because (according to her) they were the ones that did it the most. She said it used to 'make her day'. :facepalm:

I've since spoken to many women about this and have been amazed at just how many have said it made them feel good. The only one I ever recall saying that she didn't actually like it is gay.

In my late teens (mid seventies) I was one of a dozen blokes working in a factory with nearly 400 women and they were a lot worse than men. Physical groping was something that happened several times a day and we were told to 'put up with it, it's part of the job'.
 
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I have difficulty with all this. The woman from the Green Party saying there should be a curfew for all men after 6 pm. Is as stupid as the "all men are rapist" It also doesn't help address the issues.

If I was to come out and say all Muslims where terrorists I would rightly be challenged over it. But somehow all men are evil and not to be trusted around women is OK

Statistics don't actually back up a lot of these statements. Most women who are murdered it is by their partner of ex partner in the domestic setting. ( doesn't make it right though) ,

Whilst I try not to follow women when I am walking, I wouldn't walk in a different direction to avoid them.
 
Sky said:
I had a girlfriend about thirty odd years ago who would be upset if she didn't get wolf-whistled. She would deliberately walk closer to where builders and road-workers were working because (according to her) they were the ones that did it the most. She said it used to 'make her day'. :facepalm:

I've since spoken to many women about this and have been amazed at just how many have said it made them feel good. The only one I ever recall saying that she didn't actually like it is gay.

In my late teens I was one of a dozen blokes working in a factory with nearly 400 women and they were a lot worse than men. Physical groping was something that happened several times a day and we were told to 'put up with it, it's part of the job'.
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A clip of on the busses popped up in my youtube feed the other day, and I did watch it. To think how things were, in workplace in the 70s. Nowhere near like that now, but according to the news, things still need improving.
 
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This was mid-seventies Jon (I've just edited my post to show that). The worst thing for me was the smoking; almost every worker had a fag hanging out of their mouth - it was unbearable.
 
Things have improved for women, and rightly so. Are things really that bad, or is it because it is being reported more on the news channels?

Some women have said, "women were/are treated as second class citizens". Although there are a lot more women in power now, than ever before.

The highest ranking police officer in the UK is female, the head of the NCA is a female, or at least a year or so ago it was the case. Other various high ranking posts, are held by women, and why not?
 
Sky said:
This was mid-seventies Jon (I've just edited my post to show that). The worst thing for me was the smoking; almost every worker had a fag hanging out of their mouth - it was unbearable.
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When I think of the 70s, I like to remember the best bits, and not the bad bits, like running from a gang of skinheads. ;)
 
Sky said:
I had a girlfriend about thirty odd years ago who would be upset if she didn't get wolf-whistled. She would deliberately walk closer to where builders and road-workers were working because (according to her) they were the ones that did it the most. She said it used to 'make her day'. :facepalm:

I've since spoken to many women about this and have been amazed at just how many have said it made them feel good. The only one I ever recall saying that she didn't actually like it is gay.

In my late teens I was one of a dozen blokes working in a factory with nearly 400 women and they were a lot worse than men. Physical groping was something that happened several times a day and we were told to 'put up with it, it's part of the job'.
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Similar experiences here too.
Back in the 80's we would go up to London on a coach to lobby our pay negotiations between the union and the company, the police had put up crowd control barriers which we had to stand behind. I remember on one occasion there was a young lady, early 20's and she absolutely loved the attention she was getting, she must have walked by about 4 times during the course of the day.
Working in a factory there was very few women and most of them enjoyed the attention, I think some were more annoyed if they didn't draw such attention.
But I can understand that certain attention is unacceptable or become harassment. I mentioned it in another thread about a bloke from another department at work, who was harassing one of the catering women that filled the vending machines. He would get to work early and walk and stand with her as she did her rounds filling the machines. If he missed her at the start of her rounds, he would start of the end of her route and pass the machines in reverse order until he met up with her. At first we thought it innocent, but it soon became clear, that the poor woman was being harassed, so we put a complaint in for her, he was told to stop, we say him again, put in another complaint and this time he did stop. Since the start of the pandemic, we have had to change the start time of our shifts, we start at 6:30, but the bloke from another department doesn't start until 7:00. I normally get to work by 6:10, sometimes a little earlier. The cleaners start around 6:00 and are filling their carts with cleaning materials when I get there. The other morning I saw this same bloke walking away from a group of cleaning women as they filled their carts, it looks like they are now getting his attention. It is almost as if he has a fetish for a woman pushing a trolley or cart, he must be murder in a supermarket.
 
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munch said:
I have difficulty with all this. The woman from the Green Party saying there should be a curfew for all men after 6 pm. Is as stupid as the "all men are rapist" It also doesn't help address the issues.
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I think that is just a knee jerk reaction and they feel that why should women be prisoners in their own homes, being told not to go out on their own, when it is men that are the problem.
I would have a hard job following a 6pm curfew anyway as I work shifts.
 
nilagin said:
Similar experiences here too.
Back in the 80's we would go up to London on a coach to lobby our pay negotiations between the union and the company, the police had put up crowd control barriers which we had to stand behind. I remember on one occasion there was a young lady, early 20's and she absolutely loved the attention she was getting, she must have walked by about 4 times during the course of the day.
Working in a factory there was very few women and most of them enjoyed the attention, I think some were more annoyed if they didn't draw such attention.
But I can understand that certain attention is unacceptable or become harassment. I mentioned it in another thread about a bloke from another department at work, who was harassing one of the catering women that filled the vending machines. He would get to work early and walk and stand with her as she did her rounds filling the machines. If he missed her at the start of her rounds, he would start of the end of her route and pass the machines in reverse order until he met up with her. At first we thought it innocent, but it soon became clear, that the poor woman was being harassed, so we put a complaint in for her, he was told to stop, we say him again, put in another complaint and this time he did stop. Since the start of the pandemic, we have had to change the start time of our shifts, we start at 6:30, but the bloke from another department doesn't start until 7:00. I normally get to work by 6:10, sometimes a little earlier. The cleaners start around 6:00 and are filling their carts with cleaning materials when I get there. The other morning I saw this same bloke walking away from a group of cleaning women as they filled their carts, it looks like they are now getting his attention. It is almost as if he has a fetish for a woman pushing a trolley or cart, he must be murder in a supermarket.
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Back in the old days, when women were seen as sex objects. Women were always seen draped around cars and other such things, this was to help sell the product. No thought for the female customer at all.


Mind you, do some of us still photograph women draped over things?
 
The legal/justice system does not help. The majority of women in prison are there for very minor crimes, whilst men are often put away for violent crime. It doesn't help when violent crime against women is overlooked, downplayed or even turned against them, examples being the various and plentiful cases of group child sex grooming, particularly in the North of England. Then, when women are imprisoned they are still in danger, due to the increasing number of males who are being imprisoned in women's prisons, because they suddenly decide to identify as a woman. It should come as no surprise that many of these are sex offenders and even murderers.
 
jonbeeza said:
Back in the old days, when women were seen as sex objects. Women were always seen draped around cars and other such things, this was to help sell the product. No thought for the female customer at all.


Mind you, do some of us still photograph women draped over things?
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The kitchen sink or an ironing board?:snaphappy:
 
Women certainly have things a lot better now than they've ever had. There's still a long way to go for equality though and I think it will be many, many years before it's ever seen. Probably hundreds of years.

When I say equality, I don't just think about women; I think of all the other people that are treated differently because of either the colour of their skin, religion, height, hair colour, wealth, background, social standing, accent, etc. - the list goes on and on. The simple fact is that some people; mostly the rich and privileged (in my experience) will always look down upon those that are different or 'without'.
 
Sky said:
Women certainly have things a lot better now than they've ever had. There's still a long way to go for equality though and I think it will be many, many years before it's ever seen. Probably hundreds of years.

When I say equality, I don't just think about women; I think of all the other people that are treated differently because of either the colour of their skin, religion, height, hair colour, wealth, background, social standing, accent, etc. - the list goes on and on. The simple fact is that some people; mostly the rich and privileged (in my experience) will always look down upon those that are different or 'without'.
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I was watching the news last night, and it was about women's football. The FA banned women playing football years ago, stating they did not want women playing football for various ridiculous reasons, made me mad it did.
 
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I think that this is a very real problem, even though pressure groups and politicians will exaggerate it for their own purposes.

The simple fact of the matter is that although society has improved enormously over the last few years in terms of its attitude towards women, there will always be criminals who will prey on the vulnerable, so although society needs to educate all children from a young age about how they should behave, and although there’s a lot that can be done to make public places safer, we will always have criminals and we all need to take reasonable precautions against danger, whether that danger is of sexual assault or robbery.

People have tried to rob me twice. The first time, I was in my local park at about midnight in the pitch black when 3 youths approached me and asked me for a light. I knew what was coming but wasn’t too concerned because what I knew but they didn’t know was that I was there exercising my GSD, he had gone off to water the grass . . . When I called him he ran back at top speed, with a perfect grasp of the situation, and stood between us, making his intentions clear. They then decided that they didn’t need a light.

The second time was in the car park at work. 2 adult men approached me as I walked towards my car and asked me to change a £20 note. I put my hand in my pocket and came out with a very large knife, and they left. I was able to do this because I wasn’t in a public place.

Now, a few years later, I know that I’m too old to defend myself and so I take precautions. Back in the good old days when I could go to my local pub, I’d walk there in daylight but take a taxi home because it wasn’t worth the risk of walking alone in the dark. ALL vulnerable people, male or female, should take reasonable precautions, and especially when it’s dark and there are less people around.
 
jonbeeza said:
Back in the old days, when women were seen as sex objects. Women were always seen draped around cars and other such things, this was to help sell the product. No thought for the female customer at all.


Mind you, do some of us still photograph women draped over things?
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There's roll reversal adverts too, some alot more recently, such as the Coke adverts with women oggling topless men.
 
From a female point of view, I don't find men a threat when I am walking on my own
When out with the camera I often have chats with others doing the same, never felt threatened and
had some very interesting chats with men who share the same interests.
Quite happy tin have a bit banter, passes the time.
I have only had 2 bad experiences, once out with my dogs in the woods and a flasher stepped out, dogs soo saw him off
and another time when I was working for RM same thing, I got a lot of ribbing from friends, neighbours workmates and
even the police who came out, making a joke of things helps in my opinion, only one person got paranoid about it
I lived in the village for close to 40 years and it was the only time anything like it happened
 
nilagin said:
There's roll reversal adverts too, some alot more recently, such as the Coke adverts with women oggling topless men.
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Seen a few things on TV over the last few weeks, when women have said things to men in a derogatory fashion. One female news reader said something to her male colleague , it was in a playful derogatory way, can't recall what it was now. But I said to the missus, "imagine if he had of said it to her". She replied, " I Know, double standards".

Maybe women are getting their own back, after all these years.
 
Adverts are interesting. A friend from a different country wanted to know why men were always portrayed as weak, ineffective and useless in advertising. Although it's illegal to do that now, there was even a Dilbert cartoon about it.
 
Another female here. I now live in a rural area and don't worry for my safety, but I have lived in a few cities and that is very different. Equally I think men need to be on their guard in cities.

I have suffered kerb crawlers in Liverpool - I caught up with another female and we walked together until he went away. In Birmingham city centre as a teenager my friend was raped at knife point by a man who had followed us from the pub. We'd been waiting at a bus stop and my bus came first. As a child in the park I met a man going into the ladies toilet with his fly unzipped and as far as I was concerned he was desperate for the toilet. I told him the mens was around the corner, and can you believe, I went to check where it was and went back to tell him!!! I consider all of these a lucky escape and I will always feel guilty for not asking my friend to get on my bus with me. I have a few more stories, but I'll spare you :D

Thank goodness things have moved on since the 70s. Most of it was harmless fun, but I do think women were considered to be intellectually inferior and were not given the same opportunities.

If you go back as far as the 50s, women were advised to go and have a little nap in the afternoon so that they can be fresh for their husband when he comes home and have his slippers ready for him :LOL:

@jonbeeza I think there are often double standards, and it is not right.

As for the coke advert - I'd be interested to know if a woman was involved in producing it. It had impact because of the role reversal.
 
jonbeeza said:
Seen a few things on TV over the last few weeks, when women have said things to men in a derogatory fashion. One female news reader said something to her male colleague , it was in a playful derogatory way, can't recall what it was now. But I said to the missus, "imagine if he had of said it to her". She replied, " I Know, double standards".

Maybe women are getting their own back, after all these years.
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The only iffy things I've seen recently have been from that piece of work who jumped ship just before he was hurled out of GMB. His treatment of his co-workers has been appalling.
 
Bebop said:
Another female here. I now live in a rural area and don't worry for my safety, but I have lived in a few cities and that is very different. Equally I think men need to be on their guard in cities.

I have suffered kerb crawlers in Liverpool - I caught up with another female and we walked together until he went away. In Birmingham city centre as a teenager my friend was raped at knife point by a man who had followed us from the pub. We'd been waiting at a bus stop and my bus came first. As a child in the park I met a man going into the ladies toilet with his fly unzipped and as far as I was concerned he was desperate for the toilet. I told him the mens was around the corner, and can you believe, I went to check where it was and went back to tell him!!! I consider all of these a lucky escape and I will always feel guilty for not asking my friend to get on my bus with me. I have a few more stories, but I'll spare you :D

Thank goodness things have moved on since the 70s. Most of it was harmless fun, but I do think women were considered to be intellectually inferior and were not given the same opportunities.

If you go back as far as the 50s, women were advised to go and have a little nap in the afternoon so that they can be fresh for their husband when he comes home and have his slippers ready for him :LOL:

@jonbeeza I think there are often double standards, and it is not right.

As for the coke advert - I'd be interested to know if a woman was involved in producing it. It had impact because of the role reversal.
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I seem to remember a book, I think it was called the good housewife's booklet, or something. It was mind boggling, actually it was appalling. :(
 
Nod said:
The only iffy things I've seen recently have been from that piece of work who jumped ship just before he was hurled out of GMB. His treatment of his co-workers has been appalling.
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I never did like him, glad he has gone.
 
Indeed. It was programmed into us and is still 'innocently' used in everyday language today. In fact in another topic I read on here this morning, someone had said he'd taken a picture of a black man sitting on a bench. Someone else has commented as to why he had to mention the fact he was black.

Initially, I was irked because he made such a comment, but he's absolutely right. Of course, no offence was intended by the original poster, but it's very easy to see how offence could be taken.
 
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Any word has to be understood in context. That's why, for example, you get forum spats when A writes something with one intention and B reads it with a different interpretation. When people deliberately take a statement out of context you get real problems.
 
Did the Green Party approve this? Surely has not been thought through in the slightest, but I do expect little else today from some politicos.
 
I thought men had at least become a lot more discreet when oggling women these days. But just yesterday I was walking into town when a female jogger passed me, a man walking his dog was coming toward, soon as she passed him he did a 180 and just stood there staring at her [she was quite attractive and wearing very tight pants, I just happened to notice ...] His dog was trying to continue walking, got jerked back by the sudden stop, the man was oblivious to his dog panting and trying to keep going - a good 30 seconds or so he stood there staring her down, not giving a hoot about other people noticing this. Think it was one of those cases he didn't realise he'd done it then felt shame as when he noticed me he put the head down and continued on - thing is if she'd turned around she'd have been a bit worried, don't think she'd have been impressed, but then ya never know
 
stryvya said:
Ye Gods, Thank goodness we live in Cornwall!!!
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Missus lived down there many years ago, she loved the area. She lived in a remote part and felt a little isolated, she did not feel safe in such a remote area.
 
Cagey75 said:
I thought men had at least become a lot more discreet when oggling women these days. But just yesterday I was walking into town when a female jogger passed me, a man walking his dog was coming toward, soon as she passed him he did a 180 and just stood there staring at her [she was quite attractive and wearing very tight pants, I just happened to notice ...] His dog was trying to continue walking, got jerked back by the sudden stop, the man was oblivious to his dog panting and trying to keep going - a good 30 seconds or so he stood there staring her down, not giving a hoot about other people noticing this. Think it was one of those cases he didn't realise he'd done it then felt shame as when he noticed me he put the head down and continued on - thing is if she'd turned around she'd have been a bit worried, don't think she'd have been impressed, but then ya never know
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Went to the Canaries years ago, most of the women were topless. I noticed non of the men stared, although most wore sunglasses, so it was hard to tell what direction their eyes were pointing in.
 
jonbeeza said:
Went to the Canaries years ago, most of the women were topless. I noticed non of the men stared, although most wore sunglasses, so it was hard to tell what direction their eyes were pointing in.
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We went [mistakingly tbh] to a nude beach in Spain a few years back, it was nothing strange to them, Women and children swimming butt naked - I noticed none of the men did though, whether out of respect or it was a rule at this beach, also noticed nobody was oggling or acting strange, it was all completely natural. At first I was a bit awkward about it but the missus insisted we stay [she didn't go topless] and we really enjoyed the day, felt like we'd discovered a cool secret - was only locals and not many, a little cove not far from our hotel that other tourists didn't seem to have come across
 
Women in the North West will be holding a vigil, they want to hold an outdoor vigil. Just waiting on what the Courts say, as they will be braking Covid rules. Just watching it on the news now.
 
Moved into a more "countryside" area around 11 years ago. Went out with map to walk or run the footpaths and see what was in the local area. Bit of a recce before my wife came along with me. The number of stares I got was unnerving. Almost felt as though people were trying to work out WHY a bloke was out on his own early on in the morning. Is he weirdo? A work colleague who lives in the same area encouraged me to "get a dog." This would stop people staring at the lone walker.

"Don't want another dog Alex."
"Get a dog."
"Don't want another dog Alex."
"Get a dog."
"Don't want another dog Alex."
"Get a dog."

"Okay, I'll get a dog."

One rescued border collie later.

Ah, a bloke with a dog ... can't possibly be a weirdo.
Morning.
Morning.

And she's still going strong(ish).



Willow-1.jpg
 
mossienet said:
Moved into a more "countryside" area around 11 years ago. Went out with map to walk or run the footpaths and see what was in the local area. Bit of a recce before my wife came along with me. The number of stares I got was unnerving. Almost felt as though people were trying to work out WHY a bloke was out on his own early on in the morning. Is he weirdo? A work colleague who lives in the same area encouraged me to "get a dog." This would stop people staring at the lone walker.

"Don't want another dog Alex."
"Get a dog."
"Don't want another dog Alex."
"Get a dog."
"Don't want another dog Alex."
"Get a dog."

"Okay, I'll get a dog."

One rescued border collie later.

Ah, a bloke with a dog ... can't possibly be a weirdo.
Morning.
Morning.

And she's still going strong(ish).



View attachment 311792
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'Tis so true, that man I copped yesterday would've looked much weirder if he'd not had the dog, now I'm thinking that's why he has a dog :ROFLMAO:

Lovely doggy there btw :)
 
@Cagey75 We were on our way to the Lakes with everything crammed into the car. She'd fallen asleep and I had to snap her. I wasn't driving at the time.
 
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