Would you let your 16 yr old daughter go camping with her friends?

Would you let your 16 yr old daughter go camping with her friends?

  • Total voters
    51
  • Poll closed .
Yves Geza said:
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BTW, having been one and parented both, I still think teenaged boys and groups of boys are far more at risk of reckless bravado, violence or mishap than girls! You know, just like "The Inbetweeners" ;)
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Definitely. Also, boys are far more likely to be victims of violence than girls.
 
kennysarmy said:
Initially it was, please can I go camping with my friends, one of the families is going too and we are going to borrow a tent and stay there for 2 nights. Now I find out the other family is not actually going which means it's 7 or 8 16yr old girls on there own at a camp site about 10 miles from where we live....
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Because your daughter chose to mislead you over who would be there I would have a serious conversation with her on why she felt the need to mislead you!
How sure are you that they intend to go "camping"? do you know who they are borrowing the tent from? And how big is this tent that will sleep 7-8 adults?
there is too much deceit for me but I'm sure you will make the decision that is right for your family.
 
AHILL said:
Because your daughter chose to mislead you over who would be there I would have a serious conversation with her on why she felt the need to mislead you!
How sure are you that they intend to go "camping"? do you know who they are borrowing the tent from? And how big is this tent that will sleep 7-8 adults?
there is too much deceit for me but I'm sure you will make the decision that is right for your family.
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Were u not 16 once? I remember saying I was going over friends house at 16, then on the bus to town I went with fake id and hit some pubs. Every 16 yo will tell lies to parents about things... I still lie to the wife... Yes dear, I will be back from the pub before 10pm....
 
cambsno said:
Were u not 16 once? I remember saying I was going over friends house at 16, then on the bus to town I went with fake id and hit some pubs. Every 16 yo will tell lies to parents about things... I still lie to the wife... Yes dear, I will be back from the pub before 10pm....
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Exactly, it's all a part of growing up is increased freedom and trust
 
I would have to say 'no' on the grounds that there is not a 'responsible adult' in the group you can't guarantee a duty of care. So basically you have a group of children in the eyes of the law doing their own thing for a weekend. Whilst quite not on the same level as Child Abandonment, if something goes wrong, would you really want to have the police and a social worker to knock on your door?
There are far to many feckless parents allowing their under-age offspring to cause havoc and make peoples lives a misery. The fact that she has already lied doesn't bode well. I would ground her for that alone.

I wonder if all the other parents know the full picture. I wonder how many of them would agree to it if they knew the whole story?
 
Of course let her go, unless you have major reasons to doubt her...there are still a lot of good kids around, not all are hardened wanna be crims/druggies/drunks/youngmum/etc etc.. in the making...:D

Have i missed a post where it was proved the daughter lied? you know sometimes they aren't so bad, there has been numerous times parents of kids can say oh yeah i can do that only to find they then can't... if all the parents are discussing it and on call with mobiles etc, let the girls have a bit of normal childhood growing up fun... which can actually be harmless giggles/make-up/ girlie chats and yeah quite possibly drooling over their favourite crush....

We've all been there and as far as i can tell hasn't done us any harm... let them make some memories :D
 
I went away and left my girls at home at that age and said they could invite firends over, because you know they will anyway

Rules were
1. If you make a mess clear it
2. Invite the neighbours kids so they can't complain about the noise :)
3. Remember the neighbours will tell me everything so make sure you tell me first ;)

There was no problem, none of the neighbours complained, house was left clean and tidy
and no one got into any trouble.
You have to trust your kids sometime to do things on their own.
they need space to grow up.

Actually we were talking about it yesterday at work, one of my daughters school mate's sister
works with me and she remember her sister telling her about it
 
Gremlin said:
I went away and left my girls at home at that age and said they could invite firends over, because you know they will anyway

Rules were
1. If you make a mess clear it
2. Invite the neighbours kids so they can't complain about the noise :)
3. Remember the neighbours will tell me everything so make sure you tell me first ;)

There was no problem, none of the neighbours complained, house was left clean and tidy
and no one got into any trouble.
You have to trust your kids sometime to do things on their own.
they need space to grow up.

Actually we were talking about it yesterday at work, one of my daughters school mate's sister
works with me and she remember her sister telling her about it
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I think that's reasonable and it's also semi-controlled environment. Much better than a camp site where mobiles can run down or not hold their charge when switched off etc
 
It was almost as frowned upon as this camping thing at the time TBH, people thought I was mad and would have the house wrecked.
Strangely I also bumped into one of the lads in the pub the other week and we were laughing about the time I came home and found
him sill asleep in a garden chair.
They were a good crowd and sometimes even went and camped in the woods, safety in numbers was my view and they often took my GSD with them
too
 
There seems to be a lot of people these days that are far to protective of their offspring, I get being protective but atsome point it does seem a little neurotic, I am please I was raised by parents that trusted me to be sensible in growing up, out all day playing only coming home when it was dark or when hungry...and I'm only a child of the 80s/90s
 
I had three big burly older brothers. That didn't hurt either. :-)
 
I let my 13yr old go on an 'orchestral' trip to Poland - yes I was aware that she was the youngest of the 2 dozen 13 - 22yr olds that were going . There weren't , in my mind enough adults in the group, but those that were going were known to me and I reckoned Madam would be OK. As I said to her father " when will she get a chance to do a trip like that again ? " No mobile phones - they were away for 2 weeks and yes my heart was in my mouth the whole time.

They got back safely - the travel iron was deceased :( Her hairdryer had been a Godsend and LOT had ruined her case on the flight home . Seems they had a fantastic time.
 
Young maybe but at least looked after by adults. Put a load of 16 years olds in a tent. Introduce alcohol, boys it's going to potentially end in tears. Look at that example a few years ago when the police knocked on the door of a family. The girl consumed so much alcohol she chocked on her own vomit. When the police showed her a photograph of a tattoo the response from the parents was" that's not my daughter" she doesn't have a tattoo...... wrong !!! Very sad story.
 
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Have you eve seen how musicians relax ? The 13yr old was looking after the others !! Her education was really extended - it taught her a lot - and believe me it was the others who returned very much the worse for wear !

I still think some 30 years later it was the correct thing to do - you have to loosen the apron strings at some point. I, 2 years ago had my elder grandson staying for a month - and his mother [ who is on 24 hour call out more or less permanently ] asked me to teach him how to drink sensibly !! He and I had fun and he learned what he could drink and more importantly , enjoy
 
Blank_Canvas said:
I would have to say 'no' on the grounds that there is not a 'responsible adult' in the group you can't guarantee a duty of care. So basically you have a group of children in the eyes of the law doing their own thing for a weekend. Whilst quite not on the same level as Child Abandonment, if something goes wrong, would you really want to have the police and a social worker to knock on your door?
There are far to many feckless parents allowing their under-age offspring to cause havoc and make peoples lives a misery. The fact that she has already lied doesn't bode well. I would ground her for that alone.

I wonder if all the other parents know the full picture. I wonder how many of them would agree to it if they knew the whole story?
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Err, you can get married at 16, join the armed forces etc so comparing a camping trip to child abandonment is very wide of the mark.

Only the op knows his daughter and her friends so any advice based on my son (or anyone else's) is kind of useless. For instance my son is in the Scouts and knows how to build a fire, how to choose a good place to pitch a tent, how to set up a camp, cook over a fire, using knives and axes etc. The op's daughter may know all that or think that high heels would be the best footware!

To the op, go with your gut feeling, only you know your daughter.
 
PaulF said:
Err, you can get married at 16, join the armed forces etc so comparing a camping trip to child abandonment is very wide of the mark.

Only the op knows his daughter and her friends so any advice based on my son (or anyone else's) is kind of useless. For instance my son is in the Scouts and knows how to build a fire, how to choose a good place to pitch a tent, how to set up a camp, cook over a fire, using knives and axes etc. The op's daughter may know all that or think that high heels would be the best footware!

To the op, go with your gut feeling, only you know your daughter.
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You can get married at sixteen only with parental consent (except for scotland) and yes you can join the army but cannot be sent into combat.
 
viv1969 said:
You can get married at sixteen only with parental consent (except for scotland) and yes you can join the army but cannot be sent into combat.
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So, you'd agree that comparing it to child abandonment is a bit wide of the mark.
 
PaulF said:
So, you'd agree that comparing it to child abandonment is a bit wide of the mark.
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I've not called it child abandonment...I'm saying that the 2 examples you cited are poor.
 
I'm all for letting your kids have a bit of responsibility but in a controlled environment. Organised camps by Scouts, Air Cadets etc is a positive thing.
 
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viv1969 said:
I've not called it child abandonment...I'm saying that the 2 examples you cited are poor.
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You didn't mention child abandonment, I quoted the person that did. The examples I gave are valid in the context I gave them, ie letting a 16 year old go camping cannot be compared to abandonment as a 16 year old can do the things I mentioned, simple.

Blank_Canvas said:
You can't join the Armed Forces at 16 ! You even have to be back in your bunk by midnight and have bed checks until you turn 18.

I'm all for letting your kids have a bit of responsibility but in a controlled environment. Organised camps by Scouts, Air Cadets etc is a positive thing.
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Yes, you can join up at 16, as a soldier in training, you would need parental consent but the fact is you can join the armed forces.

My lad will be doing an expedition challenge this summer. A group of scouts will plan their own route (on map of an area they have never been to) for a 2 day trek, set up camp, cook etc and then end up at the finish destination unaided. He's 13, the oldest will be 14.5. Every confidence they'll be fine. They will have timed checkpoints along the way but other than that their on their own.

But, my lads experience has no bearing on the op's daughter or the decision he alone can make.
 
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Assuming this is a 'standard' bunch of 16 year olds who have not proved themselves to be crackheads in the making previously, I would let her go. Talk to her about expectations and trust and make sure they know to call if there is an issue (even if it involves something you are going to disapprove of).
 
camerassassin said:
Have you eve seen how musicians relax ? The 13yr old was looking after the others !! Her education was really extended - it taught her a lot - and believe me it was the others who returned very much the worse for wear !
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:agree:

She's not a brass player, is she? They're usually the worst! I think they try to keep their embouchure lubricated! :beer:
 
Nah - First instrument Viola [ the right elbow needs lubrication :D ] Second instrument Clarinet - and she ended up with a Performers Dip. and still does music despite being in the Prison Service :D
 
Let her go Jeff :)
Assuming that you've done a good job bringing her up to be sensible and you're happy with the group of friends she's going with, give her a bit of freedom.

If I've read the thread correctly, she didn't lie about her friend's parents going they just changed their minds and it's 10 miles from home not the ends of the Earth!

I did DoE awards when I was 14 which involved 4 of us hiking 20 miles and camping out at a farm - no parental supervision and we all survived.
When I was 16 I went on an exchange trip to Germany before starting A Levels and my friend and I stayed over there for a little longer under our own steam - again no 'adult supervision' and we were sensible enough to look after ourselves.
And this was all in the days before mobile phones were common place.

As to what will actually go on during the trip - well 16 year old girls are an odd lot :D
It's that strange age between childhood and adulthood and 16 is just a number - I remember 16 year old friends who I'd have classed as still being children and some that I'd say were most definitely adult.
Depending where she and her friends fall on that maturity scale then it may just be an extended girlie sleepover or there may be boys and booze.
Only you know the answer to that . . . but you have to let her go at some point and trust that you've equipped her well enough to deal with the big wide world.
If it comes to it, you're only a phone call and short drive away!
 
big soft moose said:
the boys will be camping separately and on the same site 'entirely by coincidence' :lol:
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This.

But then again she's old enough to have a boyfriend...

However...

I spent this weekend camping at a music festival, seeing how some of the obviously under 18s were acting made be wince at the idea of my younger sister ever going camping anywhere as a group, festival or not (for anything other than a school / DoE supervised trip).

Lets be honest, no group of teenagers aged 15+ goes camping unsupervised to enjoy nature and the clean country air.

If I were a parent there would be no 'group' holidays without parents until the child was 18.
 
AHILL said:
Because your daughter chose to mislead you over who would be there I would have a serious conversation with her on why she felt the need to mislead you!
How sure are you that they intend to go "camping"? do you know who they are borrowing the tent from? And how big is this tent that will sleep 7-8 adults?
there is too much deceit for me but I'm sure you will make the decision that is right for your family.
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I don't think we were lied to or misled about the other girls parents going to be there, from what I understand they are just unable to go now....
 
At 16 she's probably just finished her exams, they probably see this excusion as a bit of a party to celebrate and wind down and so they should, I'm an invigilator so I know what they've been through, both my kids did similar things at the time, it's only a couple of nights, they'll get bitten by midges and have to fare for themselves, all good character building stuff.
 
if you (absoloutly anyone on tp) are not a parent of a teenage girl.. what the heck are you doing offering advice n this thread?
 
viv1969 said:
You can get married at sixteen only with parental consent (except for scotland) and yes you can join the army but cannot be sent into combat.
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There aren't border guards at Carlisle on the train to Gretna (although the massive waiting list for weddings there means Annan is a better bet) so the whole needing parental consent business is largely irrelevant to a determined pair of 16 year olds with the ability to purchase train tickets.
 
onomatopoeia said:
There aren't border guards at Carlisle on the train to Gretna (although the massive waiting list for weddings there means Annan is a better bet) so the whole needing parental consent business is largely irrelevant to a determined pair of 16 year olds with the ability to purchase train tickets.
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And when they get back to England, their parents can have said marriage annulled whether they like it or not.
 
The parents that were supposed to be going are not going.
Are you sure there ARE a group of teenage girls going together.........and not just a boyfriend?
I suppose only you know your daughter, if you feel she is mature enough to go out camping with whoever, why not?
 
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