Work life after Covid

[bl0at3r]

I'll start by saying I know I am fortunate to have a job, to have not lost my job due to covid, that neither me or the wife were furloughed and also that our jobs aren't on the frontline - we are merely office workers.

But, I have worked from home now since 23 March 2020 when the original lockdown first started and by the time June comes round (the planned date for lifting covid measures and at which people will no longer be encouraged to 'work from home if you can') it will be 15 months.

I have struggled.
The novelty has long since worn off.

Yes, I know I was not having to wear PPE for 12 hours a day, and yes I was just being expected to sit at home on my laptop doing my job.

But, it becomes like a prison. My daily routine involves walking from the bedroom to the lounge/kitchen and then to the spare room where I sit in my 'home office' all day before walking the reverse journey in the evening. I get distracted easily.

I know I should make time for breaks and for exercise etc, but it is too easy to get stuck in a rut - unless I make an effort to go round to the local shop to buy some rolls for lunch, I haven't been leaving the house.

Isn't that the point of lockdown I hear you shout? well, yes it is, but it also feels like there is no escape.

My wife has been working from home some of the time too (during lockdown in the summer and for the first part of this year) although her boss is alot less tolerant of 'home working' and she was made to return on the 29th March.

I know I enjoyed being in the same house as her all day, seeing her and being able to have a quick chat.

There has been no support offered to her - being expected to just adapt at the click of a finger - office based, home based, office based again.

And there is none being offered for me - I don't know how I am going to feel either - I am struggling to have any motivation for work at home, but I am also dreading having to return to the office in June too.

It has made me realise that we never used to get much time together in a normal working week, and now she has returned to the office, we won't again in future unless something changes.

Anyone else feeling anxious about work and the future?
I wonder if we would have felt differently had we have been furloughed since March? although seemingly a wonderful paid holiday I expect that has its downsides too.

I'm even thinking about how we could fund a year off - but with furlough support predicted to end at some point I am concerned that voluntarily giving up jobs when so many others are/will be losing theirs and candidates in the job market increasing whilst vacancies are dwindling is extremely short sighted.

Take care.

 

[taxboy]

Poor you - you the answer in the first line.

I'd consider yourself very lucky indeed.

Someones mental health is down to their own perception. Often just being able to vent to strangers as on here can be helpful.
Hopefully we are moving away from a pull yourself together and get on with it culture

 

[sirch]

I know what you mean, your struggles are your struggles and TBH feeling guilty because you are not as badly off as someone else really doesn't help, start by giving yourself a break, its OK not to feel fortunate.

I know I should make time for breaks and for exercise etc, but it is too easy to get stuck in a rut - unless I make an effort to go round to the local shop to buy some rolls for lunch, I haven't been leaving the house.

You really need to do that, I live in a nice area for local walks etc but I have still been going to the shops a few times a week rather than doing one big shop once per week. I have also made a conscious effort to join online events even if I am not that interested in them just to break the routine. My employer is talking about us not going back until July at the earliest and then it will be a few days at home and a few days in the office, which really suits me and despite all that I really empathize with the feeling of being stuck.

 

[Marc]

Poor you - you the answer in the first line.

I'd consider yourself very lucky indeed.

A little harsh, Trevor. There's always someone worse off but that doesn't make anyone's concerns invalid and certainly doesn't mean they should be belittled.

 

[ecoleman]

I'm sorry but what support are you expecting?

I work from home permanently and yes it's been frustrating with not being able to escape on the weekends but that's life. Nobody offering me support!

 

[cambsno]

Interesting post.

I have worked from home for years - often just 1 or 2 days a week though and I had the choice to be with team or in office. So for me the adjustment is less than many people but despite that I identify with what you say, like leaving the house etc...

There is a lot of being in a rut - winter doesnt help, and of just going from kitchen to office (home), or my wife having to use the kitchen table. I like you have changed jobs, got a pay rise so thats all good but there has been a cost physically and mentally too.

I think many places will see home working 1, 2 or 3 days a week become the norm, and I think thats a good balance. It will benefit commuters and traffic, and home/work balance too.

I think part of how you feel is made worse by the rest of the situation. If you could be planning a holiday, or going to shops at weekend or to the pub for example I think that would lift the mood.

 

[cambsno]

Poor you - you the answer in the first line.

I'd consider yourself very lucky indeed.

Sometimes those with 'everything' are not as happy as you think. Look at someone like Caroline Flack, beautiful, TV career, good income... and there are many who feel down despite being 'well off' compared to others, like good jobs, big home, nice income, family etc.... Very harsh.

 

[boyfalldown]

Personally I can't wait for my wife to go back to the office. its gone from never seeing her to having her round all the time. Not easy for either of us to adjust to at all. OP you have my deepest sympathies.

I think many places will see home working 1, 2 or 3 days a week become the norm, and I think thats a good balance. It will benefit commuters and traffic, and home/work balance too.

BP have said that they will only expect employees in the office 60% of the time

 

[GeordieStew]

I know you you feel @bl0at3r

I have to force myself to go out (usually at 5am to see sunrise). I walk a lot... podcast, camera. I'm fortunate to be fairly fit though.

Start with baby steps. Definitely set an alarm for lunch break and it'll become natural eventually. Even if it's a walk around the block.

 

[RichardC27]

I know I should make time for breaks and for exercise etc, but it is too easy to get stuck in a rut - unless I make an effort to go round to the local shop to buy some rolls for lunch, I haven't been leaving the house.

That, right there is the root of a lot of this I think.

I am in a similar boat, in that I have been working from home permanently for over a year now, having been previously office based. But, I have stuck to a workday routine. I start at my usual time, I take my lunch break, and I finish on time. I have worked very hard to put as much demarcation between home and work life as possible. I have an office set up in the spare room, and that is where I spend my day (except when I'm on a break). Only once I'm done for the day at 5pm will I allow myself to go into the lounge, sit on the sofa etc. I've found having that line between work and home makes a great deal of difference to my mental state.

Plus it's so, so important to get out for a walk and leave the house at least once a day. I have to as we have a dog so I have to leave the house to walk him. On days where my wife is at home (she's a nurse so she has still been going out to work) and sometimes takes on the majority of the walking, I don't leave the house as much and my mood is much worse. Getting out and walking in the fresh air, away from your laptop is so important.

I've also taken up running during lockdown and managed to shift a good amount of weight. Exercise is one of the best mood boosters there is. Give the Couch to 5K app a go. I've gone from not being able to run at all to running 5km three times a week in the past year. I'm not sure what my mental state would be if I hadn't done that, but I don't think it would be as good.

That said I've found home working to be extremely positive and I really hope I'm going to be allowed to continue for a couple of days a week once things return to normal. I don't relish the thought of going back to the morning commute, sitting in traffic, sitting in a noisy office at all.

My employer isn't looking at how we're going to go back to the office until after June 21st, with a target of people being back in September at the earliest so I have a few months to go yet.

 

[bass_junkie83]

I am in a very similar position to you @bl0at3r, the only real difference is that my wife is a teacher so we have had times of both working at home, but also with times where she has been working on what we considered a fairly high risk environment, despite what the official word was.

Fortunately I seem to be well equipped to deal with, over one year into the pandemic and I am yet to notice an impact on my social life.

But I certainly have less free time than before, no time for exercise and that has affected my health. That's about the only down side for me personally.

 

[arclight]

It is actually difficult to comment on Alan's situation because there is not a great deal of detail. However, my eyes locked onto " I know I should make time for breaks and for exercise ".

Possibly a little clue in that phrase ........... exercise. Provided there is no medical or mobility hindrance I would recommend exercise, and lots of it (day or night - whatever suits).
Exercise will give you a boost mentally and physically, but you must keep at it. My preference is walking (it costs nowt, apart from clothes etc. and you can pick and choose who you want for company - or no one).
You have only one hurdle to jump over ......... yourself. Get determined that you will do it. Set a target and progressively make it harder. It will eventually become second nature.

BTW - in a similar vein I have noticed that retired people I know who are not coping well with retirement were couch potatoes for much of their lives. The human body and brain were not designed for inactivity.

 

[Sky]

Oops! It looks like I may have been a bit insensitive. If I've caused offence, then I apologise - it was unintentional.

I was just looking at the positives and thinking how lucky you were - which I think you should do more of.

Anyway, I'll say no more - 'A closed mouth gathers no foot.'

 

[bl0at3r]

Thank you for all your comments - much appreciated.

Don’t get me wrong, the thought of commuting again, the additional costs like petrol and lunch and being stuck at a desk in the line of sight of your manager is not appealing at all. So there have been positives to being at home and I expect there will be an opportunity to continue some home working in the future too. But the negatives, or perceived negatives, are looming larger right now which is where I’m struggling,

Picking up on a couple of points -

Support - I guess some acceptance or understanding of being forced to adapt (as we all have) at the whim of the government/science. Since being told to work from home in March last year I have just got on with it, still done everything asked of me and more. I know colleagues were really anxious about having to use Zoom or Teams to communicate and as they hadn't done it before were noticeably finding it tough - but there was just an expectation to suck it up. I’d like to think of myself as a low maintenance member of the team and I’ve not uttered a word of complaint. I guess every employer is different but just some acknowledgement of the adjustments and impact it has had would be nice.

They did a COVID risk assessment for every employee - but this wasn’t about identifying the risk of someone losing the plot due to working at home, instead it was whether or not you were more at risk of getting it and impacting on output due to being off work ill.

My wife has been affected more as she has been at home, then at work again, then at home again and now at work again, I’m not sure how her employer could demonstrate they are COVID secure if someone challenged it and I know she hasn’t had much support with working remotely.

Routine and Exercise - this was a common theme through the responses so I will work on this - there should be no barrier to exercise for me other than mindset. Deep down I am feeling more positive about being able to go out without an excuse - albeit still staying local, so I hope this will help.

Which leaves the matter of not spending much time together - which was there before COVID, lockdown etc. On reflection I actually think that is a whole different thread about early retirement, downgrading your job to get a better quality of life, how to fund this etc.

And the person that made the point about being able to let off steam to relative strangers on an Internet forum was spot on - thank you, just writing it down and seeing that in some cases I’m not alone in my thoughts has been a great help.

 

[Donnie]

On reflection I actually think that is a whole different thread about early retirement, downgrading your job to get a better quality of life, how to fund this etc.

And this is where me and the wife are. We'll be looking at leaving the NHS as soon as we can afford it to be honest and would both leave tomorrow if we could afford it. We've actively made plans on where we are going to live, the life we want and the only thing holding us back is funding and yes, we'll be very much look at affording the necessities, ie a 1 bed house with a bit of land vs a larger house, an older car I can do the work on easily vs newer cars full of electronics etc etc.

There are levels of compromise we are very willing to accept to get the life we want, very much working to live now, not living to work.

 

[lindsay]

I'm aligned with a few of the above posters. I've been quite content to work at home for the last year, I did manage a handful of f2f meetings (half-days) at a meeting site in the summer which helped, but strangely at the time I resented the interruption to my home working routine. I've been extremely fortunate to change jobs early in the period, to a more enlightened employer and less stressful job (from 13 people to manage down to just me), and the end of this contract will see me at age 65 and retiring abroad, so things seem to have worked out well. But I have been very lucky and I don't forget that. My only real complaint is that the office chair I have was bought for form rather than function - a nice repro Regency Captains Chair does not suit a 9 hour stint at the desk! My back is really suffering, and I suspect many have this problem because none of us will have had workplace HASAWA assessments: screen height and distance, lighting, desk layout, etc.

 

[Mr Bump]

Its an odd one really I am typing this sitting in my home office that I basically put together in September last year and I love it.
I am an IT contractor have been for 20+ years and spent a good portion of that working away with long travel home most weekends.
living in bad shared accommodation to keep costs down and generally missing my wife and comfy bed.

Now I am doing all the same stuff from a lovely quiet large office in my own house with a nice large desk, all the kit I need and on top of that my music which i absolutely love.
during the day i speak to my friends and colleagues on wotsapp video and skype(teams) and its a good laugh.

I get all the house work down, nip to the coop /lidl (end of road) so when wife comes home its all our time which is usually a long 1-2hour walk.

I have almost zero expenses, working away it would be £500/month for accommodation + fuel a good £200/month sundries, work clothes all that crap I am £1k/month better off into my pension.

Heck now when I have to go to the office or to a client site I even get my mileage and hotels paid for by the client
got to say for me I want this way of working to carry on as long as it can.

 

[TheBigYin]

I must say, I'm firmly in the camp of "happy for WFH to continue permanently" (or at least until i'm able to retire).

Hadn't realised just how much I hated the office environment I "normally" work in, massive open plan with at least 200 people on the wing on my floor alone - all in a sealed box, never more than 10 minutes in any given day between hearing someone sneeze/cough and the next time - permanently 3-4 members of a 30 person team off sick at any one time. Do I want to return to that kind of exposure in a post-covid world. Not a chance. Last one-to-one when asked if i had any concerns, I simply said "i don't ever want to set foot in that office again - the moment you tell me i'm back in the office, I'll be up to my doctors for a sick note for stress, while I find another job." Frankly, if that means i'm marked down for removal/redundancy/constructive dismissal by management I can live with that. What I can't face is going back there. Honestly, out of the 30 person team, there's 2 people at a push that i'd miss if I left today, and 28 that I'd feign deafness and cross the road if I met them on the street the day after I leave.

Then Again, I know i'm not typical, having worked freelance from home for 15 years before re-joining the realms of the wage-slave, and been happy at that, so this working from home has been a "welcome return to an old friend" rather than a problem - in all honesty, i spent most of the first month of WFH making sure my team were all taking every step to ensure they had a proper setup at home - luckily, the company have been decent enough, and have made sure we've all had a proper workplace HASAWA assessment - it was part of what I used to do when I was freelancing, so I talked everyone through it via video-calls etc, and the company have provided additional support in terms of stands etc for laptops to ensure correct positioning, additional keyboard/mice/secondary and tertiary screens where appropriate, office operator chairs, footrests... Hell, it's the NHS, they have to take it seriously - it's part of our annual mandatory training package anyway. As a result, pretty much every one of the team i've spent time talking with has NO desire whatsoever to return to the office - and the main reason is simple - COMMUTING.

Normally, my drive to work is around 12 miles. This takes 16 minutes on a good day, in the middle of the day. To get to work between 8-9am it will take on average 45 minutes, but regularly up to 2 hours. Same thing on the way home, So if you've an 8am meeting, you'll be leaving the house at 7am at the latest, and getting home at best 17:15. That's 10h15m of your life you've lost for 7h30m pay. (8:00>4:30, mandatory hour for lunch) - contrast that with currently - roll out of bed 7:45, wash hands and face, pull a clean t-shirt on and switch computer on, have meeting, go downstairs and make breakfast, eat your toast at the computer,... work through 'till lunch, go for a walk for 45 minutes around the village common and duckpond, back home, make a sandwich and eat while you work 'till 4:30, at which point you close the computer and get on with your life. Work's still had 7.5 hours out of you, you've been more productive because you're not fretting about the accident on the M62 and the traffic you can see building up from the office window, you've not wasted your hour's lunch just sitting in the canteen waiting for time to go back into the office (because the office is in a business park, on the edge of the motorway, with nowhere nearby to escape to for a walk without choking on fumes from the motorway).

No, I've no desire, and i'd go as far as to say i've got a complete dread of returning to the office - especially the office as It has been in the recent past.

 

[tijuana taxi]

And this is where me and the wife are. We'll be looking at leaving the NHS as soon as we can afford it to be honest and would both leave tomorrow if we could afford it. We've actively made plans on where we are going to live, the life we want and the only thing holding us back is funding and yes, we'll be very much look at affording the necessities, ie a 1 bed house with a bit of land vs a larger house, an older car I can do the work on easily vs newer cars full of electronics etc etc.

There are levels of compromise we are very willing to accept to get the life we want, very much working to live now, not living to work.

Go for it, not so very different from our life over the years.
Its a big price to pay for a new car, mini mansion with multi spired conservatory and expensive holidays.
Happiness is priceless and all the material goods in the world can't compensate for it.

 

[gman]

I'll start by saying I know I am fortunate to have a job, to have not lost my job due to covid, that neither me or the wife were furloughed and also that our jobs aren't on the frontline - we are merely office workers.

But, I have worked from home now since 23 March 2020 when the original lockdown first started and by the time June comes round (the planned date for lifting covid measures and at which people will no longer be encouraged to 'work from home if you can') it will be 15 months.

I have struggled.
The novelty has long since worn off.

Yes, I know I was not having to wear PPE for 12 hours a day, and yes I was just being expected to sit at home on my laptop doing my job.

But, it becomes like a prison. My daily routine involves walking from the bedroom to the lounge/kitchen and then to the spare room where I sit in my 'home office' all day before walking the reverse journey in the evening. I get distracted easily.

I know I should make time for breaks and for exercise etc, but it is too easy to get stuck in a rut - unless I make an effort to go round to the local shop to buy some rolls for lunch, I haven't been leaving the house.

Isn't that the point of lockdown I hear you shout? well, yes it is, but it also feels like there is no escape.

My wife has been working from home some of the time too (during lockdown in the summer and for the first part of this year) although her boss is alot less tolerant of 'home working' and she was made to return on the 29th March.

I know I enjoyed being in the same house as her all day, seeing her and being able to have a quick chat.

There has been no support offered to her - being expected to just adapt at the click of a finger - office based, home based, office based again.

And there is none being offered for me - I don't know how I am going to feel either - I am struggling to have any motivation for work at home, but I am also dreading having to return to the office in June too.

It has made me realise that we never used to get much time together in a normal working week, and now she has returned to the office, we won't again in future unless something changes.

Anyone else feeling anxious about work and the future?
I wonder if we would have felt differently had we have been furloughed since March? although seemingly a wonderful paid holiday I expect that has its downsides too.

I'm even thinking about how we could fund a year off - but with furlough support predicted to end at some point I am concerned that voluntarily giving up jobs when so many others are/will be losing theirs and candidates in the job market increasing whilst vacancies are dwindling is extremely short sighted.

Take care.

Mental health is serious, I've seen it grip a few friends of mine and the speed of it is frightening, so don't let it get you. Talking is crucial, just like you are doing here but even better with someone (or more) in person.

I would create a schedule, make it realistic though to fit around your daily life, but be strict with sticking to it. If you don't have time to do some quick exercises in the morning then if not already doing so do some stretches instead, it helps set you up for the day. It might even be worth going to a physio or someone who can help create something for you.

Also, sometimes it is good to just go somewhere quiet and comfortable (inside or out) and just sit there for half an hour and do nothing but look around. No books, no phone, nothing. It lets your brain switch off and rest properly and helps you relax. You start to see little things that you would otherwise miss as well, which I find gives you a small happiness boost.

 

[Mr Bump]

I must say, I'm firmly in the camp of "happy for WFH to continue permanently" (or at least until i'm able to retire).

Hadn't realised just how much I hated the office environment I "normally" work in, massive open plan with at least 200 people on the wing on my floor alone - all in a sealed box, never more than 10 minutes in any given day between hearing someone sneeze/cough and the next time - permanently 3-4 members of a 30 person team off sick at any one time. Do I want to return to that kind of exposure in a post-covid world. Not a chance. Last one-to-one when asked if i had any concerns, I simply said "i don't ever want to set foot in that office again - the moment you tell me i'm back in the office, I'll be up to my doctors for a sick note for stress, while I find another job." Frankly, if that means i'm marked down for removal/redundancy/constructive dismissal by management I can live with that. What I can't face is going back there. Honestly, out of the 30 person team, there's 2 people at a push that i'd miss if I left today, and 28 that I'd feign deafness and cross the road if I met them on the street the day after I leave.

Then Again, I know i'm not typical, having worked freelance from home for 15 years before re-joining the realms of the wage-slave, and been happy at that, so this working from home has been a "welcome return to an old friend" rather than a problem - in all honesty, i spent most of the first month of WFH making sure my team were all taking every step to ensure they had a proper setup at home - luckily, the company have been decent enough, and have made sure we've all had a proper workplace HASAWA assessment - it was part of what I used to do when I was freelancing, so I talked everyone through it via video-calls etc, and the company have provided additional support in terms of stands etc for laptops to ensure correct positioning, additional keyboard/mice/secondary and tertiary screens where appropriate, office operator chairs, footrests... Hell, it's the NHS, they have to take it seriously - it's part of our annual mandatory training package anyway. As a result, pretty much every one of the team i've spent time talking with has NO desire whatsoever to return to the office - and the main reason is simple - COMMUTING.

Normally, my drive to work is around 12 miles. This takes 16 minutes on a good day, in the middle of the day. To get to work between 8-9am it will take on average 45 minutes, but regularly up to 2 hours. Same thing on the way home, So if you've an 8am meeting, you'll be leaving the house at 7am at the latest, and getting home at best 17:15. That's 10h15m of your life you've lost for 7h30m pay. (8:00>4:30, mandatory hour for lunch) - contrast that with currently - roll out of bed 7:45, wash hands and face, pull a clean t-shirt on and switch computer on, have meeting, go downstairs and make breakfast, eat your toast at the computer,... work through 'till lunch, go for a walk for 45 minutes around the village common and duckpond, back home, make a sandwich and eat while you work 'till 4:30, at which point you close the computer and get on with your life. Work's still had 7.5 hours out of you, you've been more productive because you're not fretting about the accident on the M62 and the traffic you can see building up from the office window, you've not wasted your hour's lunch just sitting in the canteen waiting for time to go back into the office (because the office is in a business park, on the edge of the motorway, with nowhere nearby to escape to for a walk without choking on fumes from the motorway).

No, I've no desire, and i'd go as far as to say i've got a complete dread of returning to the office - especially the office as It has been in the recent past.

yep, usually you talk wind but totally agree with everything you said which is weird.
i hate most of the contractor types i work with crying about there massive mortgage bills and how much it costs to run their M3s
how much s***e they talk about foorball which i cant stand, most of the types i work with are ex military so there all got PTSD literally every single one of them

my mental health is much better for not being in the office.

 

[RedRobin]

Regardless of how badly off you consider yourself to be (either materially and spiritually) there are many who are worse off materially/spiritually. And regardless of how well off you consider yourself to be, there are many who are better off materially/spiritually.

So, people should stop thinking negative because negativity breeds negativity and also effects those close to you. Always Think Positive! Embrace changes and exploit them for your benefit. As one door closes, another door opens. However, some people love to wallow in their negativity.

Adapt! Human beings are meant to be good at adapting.

After qualifying I worked for 2 years for someone else as their assistant and then started my own business working from home in Chelsea. 30 years later I retired early and left London 20 years ago in 1999. My daughter went straight from uni to starting her own business from a tiny flat in Bristol. 6 years later she bought a freehold house with garden and works from home and has over 50 retailers of her products throughout the UK. The Covid thing effected her business so she has adapted her products and now mostly creates paintings. She has recently leased an Orangery (fabulous light for painting) in an 18th Century stately home and now has invitations to exhibitions. So, one word! =

ADAPT!!!

 

[Marc]

my mental health is much better for not being in the office.

I'm sure their mental health is much better for you not being in the office as well.

 

[Bobsyeruncle]

Regardless of how badly off you consider yourself to be (either materially and spiritually) there are many who are worse off materially/spiritually. And regardless of how well off you consider yourself to be, there are many who are better off materially/spiritually.

So, people should stop thinking negative because negativity breeds negativity and also effects those close to you. Always Think Positive! Embrace changes and exploit them for your benefit. As one door closes, another door opens. However, some people love to wallow in their negativity.

Adapt! Human beings are meant to be good at adapting.

After qualifying I worked for 2 years for someone else as their assistant and then started my own business working from home in Chelsea. 30 years later I retired early and left London 20 years ago in 1999. My daughter went straight from uni to starting her own business from a tiny flat in Bristol. 6 years later she bought a freehold house with garden and works from home and has over 50 retailers of her products throughout the UK. The Covid thing effected her business so she has adapted her products and now mostly creates paintings. She has recently leased an Orangery (fabulous light for painting) in an 18th Century stately home and now has invitations to exhibitions. So, one word! =

ADAPT!!!

Yeah, snap out of it and get a grip....you tell them.....Mr Motivator...

 

[RedRobin]

I'm sure their mental health is much better for you not being in the office as well.

.... Did you forget to add a laughter emoji to your comment, Marc?

If some people stopped overthinking their own mental health they might feel a lot healthier. But hey-ho, mental health and well-being is the latest fad.

 

[RedRobin]

Yeah, snap out of it and get a grip....you tell them.....Mr Motivator...

.... Yeah, my mantra is rise to the challenge and win! You can do it! Enjoy the process of achieving a workaround to any problems which life throws at you.

 

[Bobsyeruncle]

.... Yeah, my mantra is rise to the challenge and win! You can do it! Enjoy the process of achieving a workaround to any problems which life throws at you.

Glad it works for you, and it has worked for me but it won't work for everyone.
Unnecessary to belittle mental health and wellbeing as a fad....

 

[THIRTYFIVEMILL]

Glad it works for you, and it has worked for me but it won't work for everyone.
Unnecessary to belittle mental health and wellbeing as a fad....

Agreed Bob. Unfortunately, the state of this thread is the state of the UK when it comes to understanding mental health.

 

[gman]

Agreed Bob. Unfortunately, the state of this thread is the state of the UK when it comes to understanding mental health.

I don't know about England, but in Scotland it seems that mental health services and support has gone right down the toilet over the last ten years. Something serious needs to be done because the ramifications, especially with children, can be devastating.

 

[Fuji Dave]

I'll start by saying I know I am fortunate to have a job, to have not lost my job due to covid, that neither me or the wife were furloughed and also that our jobs aren't on the frontline - we are merely office workers.

But, I have worked from home now since 23 March 2020 when the original lockdown first started and by the time June comes round (the planned date for lifting covid measures and at which people will no longer be encouraged to 'work from home if you can') it will be 15 months.

I have struggled.
The novelty has long since worn off.

Yes, I know I was not having to wear PPE for 12 hours a day, and yes I was just being expected to sit at home on my laptop doing my job.

But, it becomes like a prison. My daily routine involves walking from the bedroom to the lounge/kitchen and then to the spare room where I sit in my 'home office' all day before walking the reverse journey in the evening. I get distracted easily.

I know I should make time for breaks and for exercise etc, but it is too easy to get stuck in a rut - unless I make an effort to go round to the local shop to buy some rolls for lunch, I haven't been leaving the house.

Isn't that the point of lockdown I hear you shout? well, yes it is, but it also feels like there is no escape.

My wife has been working from home some of the time too (during lockdown in the summer and for the first part of this year) although her boss is alot less tolerant of 'home working' and she was made to return on the 29th March.

I know I enjoyed being in the same house as her all day, seeing her and being able to have a quick chat.

There has been no support offered to her - being expected to just adapt at the click of a finger - office based, home based, office based again.

And there is none being offered for me - I don't know how I am going to feel either - I am struggling to have any motivation for work at home, but I am also dreading having to return to the office in June too.

It has made me realise that we never used to get much time together in a normal working week, and now she has returned to the office, we won't again in future unless something changes.

Anyone else feeling anxious about work and the future?
I wonder if we would have felt differently had we have been furloughed since March? although seemingly a wonderful paid holiday I expect that has its downsides too.

I'm even thinking about how we could fund a year off - but with furlough support predicted to end at some point I am concerned that voluntarily giving up jobs when so many others are/will be losing theirs and candidates in the job market increasing whilst vacancies are dwindling is extremely short sighted.

Take care.

I'm really sorry to hear this Alan and I hope and wish you the best too. All I can say really is try and take baby steps first with some exercise and try doing some thing different each day when it comes.
Mental Health is a very serious thing and IMO more should be done for anyone who has mental health issues, one thing I have always hated is the saying Stiff upper lip or pull your socks up as mental health effects many folk in many different ways and it can totally destroy lives too. I had to give up work for health reasons but I'm happy in my life as I have the greatest gift in life like many on here I'M ALIVE, I try every day to do some thing totally different. Future for me I have know idea at all if I'm truthful so I take each day as it comes, my photography has been a very big help for me and also this forum and just talking with the right people.

I'm never great with words but that's just me, so all I can say is take it easy and baby steps with exercise and go from there plus I wish you all the best.

 

[andya700]

I know that it is difficult for people WFH, but consider my position. My wife lost her job back in May last year, I tried to set up a wedding photography business back in 2019. I had to return deposits to people who cancelled weddings (as probably did others on this forum). Initially my wife was able to claim JSA for 3 months, but I wasn't, because they decided I was still self employed. I wasn't able to claim Rishi Sunak's business grant because like probably thousands of others, I hadn't business returns going back three years. My wife had an interview in June last year, where she worked for a day without pay, to be told they didn't want her. She was the only one out of six people actually wearing a mask in the laboratory. Her JSA finished in November. We have been living off our meagre savings, because we now receive £240 per month UC between us, our council tax is £169 per month.
We have both been going for long walks every day, but for the past month, the pains in my elbows, wrists, back and knees have been getting worse. I don't know what it is, but I am afraid to contact my GP surgery, because of the five GP's who used to be there, they are now down to two and one of them is a very nasty person who lacks any kind of empathy.
My concentration is also very bad, my speech is hesitant and my memory is completely shot.

 

[Donnie]

Glad it works for you, and it has worked for me but it won't work for everyone.
Unnecessary to belittle mental health and wellbeing as a fad....

Agreed Bob. Unfortunately, the state of this thread is the state of the UK when it comes to understanding mental health.

Indeed and exactly why I didn't bother replying to such ignorance.

I don't know about England, but in Scotland it seems that mental health services and support has gone right down the toilet over the last ten years. Something serious needs to be done because the ramifications, especially with children, can be devastating.

Same in England, there was in fact a bit of a crescendo building about the state of mental health services pre covid ie people being treated literally hundreds of miles from family and support networks, the lack of general services in the wider population and in fact a specific dearth of services for the young. However covid hit and knocked that on the head unfortunately. Of course now politicians are carping on with promises of working toward great mental health services but frankly it's all b******t and hot air as usual.

 

[Donnie]

I know that it is difficult for people WFH, but consider my position. My wife lost her job back in May last year, I tried to set up a wedding photography business back in 2019. I had to return deposits to people who cancelled weddings (as probably did others on this forum). Initially my wife was able to claim JSA for 3 months, but I wasn't, because they decided I was still self employed. I wasn't able to claim Rishi Sunak's business grant because like probably thousands of others, I hadn't business returns going back three years. My wife had an interview in June last year, where she worked for a day without pay, to be told they didn't want her. She was the only one out of six people actually wearing a mask in the laboratory. Her JSA finished in November. We have been living off our meagre savings, because we now receive £240 per month UC between us, our council tax is £169 per month.
We have both been going for long walks every day, but for the past month, the pains in my elbows, wrists, back and knees have been getting worse. I don't know what it is, but I am afraid to contact my GP surgery, because of the five GP's who used to be there, they are now down to two and one of them is a very nasty person who lacks any kind of empathy.
My concentration is also very bad, my speech is hesitant and my memory is completely shot.

Crappy situation for sure. A few things stick out here though.

1. Lets not turn this into a competition about who's better or worse off than the OP. Everyone's situation is unique to them.
2. UC - How the hell are ye only getting that amount when my son (21) is getting 330 a month??? And he lives at home with us!
3. You obviously need to cut back a bit on the exercise, don't stop but cut back either the distance or the level of effort for a few weeks to a month and see if that improves your pains.
4. GP wise either get an appointment with the better one (and take the time hit on that) OR change GP surgeries, you have that right.

 

[Nod]

I'm sure their mental health is much better for you not being in the office as well.

Apparently his boss is a tw@.

 

[RedRobin]

Glad it works for you, and it has worked for me but it won't work for everyone.
Unnecessary to belittle mental health and wellbeing as a fad....

.... I am NOT saying that ALL cases are just a fad. I think it is very necessary to put self-assessed mental health and wellbeing into perspective when, in far too many cases but not all, it is a fad. Covid has encouraged it together with the businesses which exploit it by claiming they have solutions or magic cures.

 

[RedRobin]

We have been living off our meagre savings, because we now receive £240 per month UC between us, our council tax is £169 per month.

.... Get your savings below a certain threshold and you should qualify for zero Council Tax if you can also claim benefits. From the circumstances you describe it would seem that you legitimately qualify. I would investigate the possibility. You can have it backdated 6 months too.

 

[RedRobin]

Mental Health is a very serious thing and IMO more should be done for anyone who has mental health issues, one thing I have always hated is the saying Stiff upper lip or pull your socks up as mental health effects many folk in many different ways and it can totally destroy lives too. I had to give up work for health reasons but I'm happy in my life as I have the greatest gift in life like many on here I'M ALIVE, I try every day to do some thing totally different. Future for me I have know idea at all if I'm truthful so I take each day as it comes, my photography has been a very big help for me and also this forum and just talking with the right people.

^ ^ ^ And you have perfectly described an effective cure. It only destroys lives if you let it. You have adapted and evolved a healthier perspective on your life and are Thinking Positive.

 

[tijuana taxi]

I know that it is difficult for people WFH, but consider my position. My wife lost her job back in May last year, I tried to set up a wedding photography business back in 2019. I had to return deposits to people who cancelled weddings (as probably did others on this forum). Initially my wife was able to claim JSA for 3 months, but I wasn't, because they decided I was still self employed. I wasn't able to claim Rishi Sunak's business grant because like probably thousands of others, I hadn't business returns going back three years. My wife had an interview in June last year, where she worked for a day without pay, to be told they didn't want her. She was the only one out of six people actually wearing a mask in the laboratory. Her JSA finished in November. We have been living off our meagre savings, because we now receive £240 per month UC between us, our council tax is £169 per month.
We have both been going for long walks every day, but for the past month, the pains in my elbows, wrists, back and knees have been getting worse. I don't know what it is, but I am afraid to contact my GP surgery, because of the five GP's who used to be there, they are now down to two and one of them is a very nasty person who lacks any kind of empathy.
My concentration is also very bad, my speech is hesitant and my memory is completely shot.

My first bit of advice is never consult Dr Google, sure fire way to think you have everything under the sun.
All the aches and pains are possibly a result of your anxiety and stress, many people also find themselves trying to get a deep inhale and exhale breath.
I had some meds once that sent me off the rails and affected me (even more) mentally, sought help and found out quite a bit about these things.
In my case once the drugs had left my system it all went away and the counselling was no longer needed.
Once my head was clear I went a couple more times and had some very enlightening chats with the counsellor.

You won't get better with out help although some ignorant people will dismiss it as just needing a kick up the backside.
Unfortunately in your case the GP needs to refer you, but its well worth doing and the sooner the better.
Any concern no matter how trivial needs breaking down in your mind and each part looked at rationally.
For instance if you think one part of your chest, neck or under your arm hurts and is getting worse its probably because you keep pressing or poking it.
Stop and try to think about these things and you can stop being so anxious, the breath thing is another good example.
Do you really need that massive deep breath? main point is you are breathing and consequently alive, that's what matters.

Hope you get things a bit straighter soon and start feeling better its all eminently treatable.

 

[Steep]

I have been incredibly lucky. I lost my job at the end of Lockdown 1 having been furloughed for 6 months, moped around for 4 weeks before thinking I'd better do something about this. I went online to look for work and to see about signing on. I saw an advert for a job and thought fk me this is perfect! and applied for it, interview 2 days later and got the job the next day.

I've gone from a dying sector (cash handling) to a new and booming sector in electric vehicles. As I said incredibly lucky, I could have been like hundreds of thousands of others, stuck fighting the DWP for pennies for the rest of my 'working' life and I dreaded that.

If you're in the same situation, the only advice I can give is look and keep looking, don't narrow your horizons, be willing to do anything you feel qualified for. I wish you well.

 

[RedRobin]

I have been incredibly lucky. I lost my job at the end of Lockdown 1 having been furloughed for 6 months, moped around for 4 weeks before thinking I'd better do something about this. I went online to look for work and to see about signing on. I saw an advert for a job and thought fk me this is perfect! and applied for it, interview 2 days later and got the job the next day.

I've gone from a dying sector (cash handling) to a new and booming sector in electric vehicles. As I said incredibly lucky, I could have been like hundreds of thousands of others, stuck fighting the DWP for pennies for the rest of my 'working' life and I dreaded that.

If you're in the same situation, the only advice I can give is look and keep looking, don't narrow your horizons, be willing to do anything you feel qualified for. I wish you well.

.... A perfect example and classic case of always thinking positive and consequently a new door opening after an existing (comfortable lounge?) door closes.

Good news, Hugh!