Why do people cheat? (bit of rant)

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Vic

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My best friend has just discovered that the guy she has been seeing for a few months has a girlfriend in Liverpool. Its been a bit of a stressful evening to say the least :| However what is most worrying that the act itself is not that suprising, almost 70% of the men I know cheat. I have to say I only know a few women who have cheated although I am sure they are both equal.

My question is why? Is it greediness? No self control? Especially if the person you love or respect the person you are cheating on.:shrug:

Sorry for the rant, feel free to ignore but would welcome any insightful theories:help:
 
Vic said:
My best friend has just discovered that the guy she has been seeing for a few months has a girlfriend in Liverpool. Its been a bit of a stressful evening to say the least :| However what is most worrying that the act itself is not that suprising, almost 70% of the men I know cheat. I have to say I only know a few women who have cheated although I am sure they are both equal.

My question is why? Is it greediness? No self control? Especially if the person you love or respect the person you are cheating on.:shrug:

Sorry for the rant, feel free to ignore but would welcome any insightful theories:help:
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What part of the man doesn't cheat then? :lol:

I never understand it but then again it takes all sorts in this world. It has gone on since time began, maybe we are not supposed to be faithful.

I'm with you on this though Vicky.
 
tiler65 said:
What part of the man doesn't cheat then? :lol:

I never understand it but then again it takes all sorts in this world. It has gone on since time began, maybe we are not supposed to be faithful.

I'm with you on this though Vicky.
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Yeah there probably is no point in this post, its unanswerable :lol:

I know a couple who are both allowed to have "indiscretions" but I always think there must be something wrong there :thinking:
 
It annoys me too. I'm aware of some of my friends who have cheated and it really annoys me. To the point where I don't really associate with them anymore. I'll add, in my experience it was the opposite percentage with about 70/80% of them being the female friends, but it's irrelevant, it probably balances out somewhat between people. I agree with all above, I don't get it. Quite frankly, I honestly couldn't manage more than 1 woman :lol:. Is he a glutten for punishment :D.

Kidding aside, what a plonker he must be.
 
If they cheat they're not happy but haven't got the guts to leave and risk being on their own
 
I'd go with the 70-80% thing, I always figured I was in the majority by remaining faithful to anyone I happen to be in a relationship with but when I consider the relationships of most of my friends that isn't really the case. Bit sad really.

As for a reason, I'd go with a few hundred million years of evolution. Leaving all ethics aside and seeing this from an evolutionary point of view it is of benefit to a man to impregnate as many women as possible in order to propagate his genes. In modern society there are penalties for this kind of behaviour, but a few thousand years of social pressure isn't going to eliminate instinct, just curb it.
 
Having been on the receiving end myself in the past it seems a 50/50 problem to me. Either way it's not a nice thing to do, and something I would NEVER do.
 
Cheating shows a lack of respect whichever side does it. If you respect the one you (allegedly) love, you would never expose them to the potential hurt cheating causes. (not to mention the risk of STI's or worse)
 
Thanks for all the comments guys, comforting to know all the people who still hold morals.:) Have been gradually getting angrier this evening with the little sod, not to mention feeling sorry for the girl in liverpool :shake:
 
Men are Dogs...
We Lie...
Why?
Because Men are Dogs...

Why you are in any way surprised at this is what baffles me...
You'd do just as well asking the question:

"Why Are Girls So Gullible?"
 
Monogomy is a man-made thing but it doesn't come naturally to most of the human race. It is totally natural to admire other people and want to be with them even if you already have a partner. It should be more surprising that as many as 30% of people manage to stay faithful to just 1 partner at a time.
 
I know of *some* people who have cheated, but it's certainly not 70%.

Unless I just don't find out :D:D

Certainly I've had it done to me once, but there were other problems in that relationship.
 
-Rob- said:
Monogomy is a man-made thing but it doesn't come naturally to most of the human race. It is totally natural to admire other people and want to be with them even if you already have a partner. It should be more surprising that as many as 30% of people manage to stay faithful to just 1 partner at a time.
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Indeed. There's a very strong biological urge to procreate which the contraints of monogomy doesn't always contain.

Also, men and women are different. Women's emotional needs don't always match the sexual needs of men. Often, once secure in a relationship, the woman's sex drive will decrease as her emotional needs are being fulfilled. Ironically, often the male's sex drives actually increases: men show affection and bond through sex. It always makes me wonder why the onus is always on the man to be more romantic to improve a woman's sex drive. How many sex therapist ask, the woman, when was the last time you suprised your husband with a sexy outfit and a blow job when he came in from work?

You also get the situation when wmoen have very high sex drives though. In this case, the male can rarely match their need and therefore the woman seeks other partners to fulfill their high sexual needs. There's not a lot a bloke can do in this position bar go to Anne Summers and buy a large stock of AA's.

So, in conclusion, if men cheat it's the woman's fault for not making enough effort, and if women cheat, it's their fault for having too high expectations from men. :naughty:
 
Rob you have a point, I can see my attitude changing already that I almost expect cheating these days. And barney rubble you obviously know some great people and that is very good thing :) And Arkaday the suprising thing wasnt about just men, its the whole reasoning behind cheating male or female...... And gullible! :eek:
 
I've been cheated on countless times, yet no matter who I've been with and no matter what the circumstances have been, I have never once cheated on anyone, so not all men are the same.

I was with someone for ten years, we went through a lot together, including me nearly leaving this world through illness. You think you know someone so well but when you find out they've been lying and cheating throughout, well "it hurts" is like saying jack the ripper had women issues. Thing is, I'm now extremely happy with the person I am with, it sounds so cliche but we both feel we have found our soulmates at long last. When you look at the circumstances that brought us together the odds were stacked against us (she comes from Italy for a start, I've hardly ever been out of the country) yet we did still find each other. At the end of the day things happen for a reason, I'm not 100% in agreement with the old destiny theory but sometimes I do wonder. I've longed for my own kids for years but because of my previous illness I didn't ever think it was possible, and because of the outcomes of previous relationships it's a good job I never had any kids, but now we are the proud parents of a wonderful little girl. I thank my lucky stars every day.

What I guess I'm saying is, even though your friend won't feel this right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, but its not always going to be an easy path to reach it, and you've not got to lose faith. Life has a way of sorting itself out in the long run.
 
Monogamy is a social device invented at a time when people only lived to the age of around 30 :naughty:

I'll admit it, I've been an absolute ******* before now, when I was younger. The last time I cheated was when I was about 17. Not proud of it, and it's not something I'd do now. I can't think of one good reason why I ever cheated, other than I was young, and stupid and had no clue at all just how damaging my actions were, and I should have known, as I'd been on the recieving end of it after my girlfriend of 18 months shagged my so-called best mate (Alright, I was only 16 at the time, but at that age you still think it's for real and will last forever!).

Bottom line: Men are *******s, women are bitches. People cheat for many reasons, but the underlying reason is that they're just horrible.
 
i know all about being cheated on......

short version: boy meets girl, 2yrs later boy gets engadged to girl, 8 months later girl leaves boy for boys uncle, (boy finds out girl and uncle going on 2 months before they got engadged) 1 yr later girl and uncle get married, 3 yrs later girl and uncle have a baby..... and im only 27!
 
Vic said:
My question is why? Is it greediness? No self control? Especially if the person you love or respect the person you are cheating on.:shrug:
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Anyone who cheats evidently doesn't respect the person they are cheating on, or even care about them very much at all.

Why is lots of reasons. Some do it as a way of looking for a new partner while keeping their options open at home (this was done to me).

The way I'm wired means I would never cheat, I can't understand the betrayal of trust and I certainly couldn't do it. Even if Charlotte Gainsbourg were to turn up on my doorstep and beg!
 
ChrisGaskin said:
i know all about being cheated on......

short version: boy meets girl, 2yrs later boy gets engadged to girl, 8 months later girl leaves boy for boys uncle, (boy finds out girl and uncle going on 2 months before they got engadged) 1 yr later girl and uncle get married, 3 yrs later girl and uncle have a baby..... and im only 27!
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**** the bed!

What a pair of tools!
 
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