What is wrong with women...

I agree with to OP's original post, but in answer to the question, "What is wrong with women...". There is nothing wrong with them,... they are really very good.

Dave
 
Tringa said:
I agree with to OP's original post, but in answer to the question, "What is wrong with women...". There is nothing wrong with them,... they are really very good.

Dave
Click to expand...
Creep!
 
11999086_1676266845925388_99514081931237334_n.jpg
 
I usually read instructions but the manual that comes with women is about 20,000 pages long, written in a combination of Cyrillic, Greek, Roman and Kanjii characters in the Icelandic and Innuit language as well as changing every time you read to the bottom of the page.
 
Nod said:
I usually read instructions but the manual that comes with women is about 20,000 pages long, written in a combination of Cyrillic, Greek, Roman and Kanjii characters in the Icelandic and Innuit language as well as changing every time you read to the bottom of the page.
Click to expand...

You've got the wrong manual.
The real one is just one line long:

DO AS YOU'RE TOLD.
 
viv1969 said:
You've got the wrong manual.
The real one is just one line long:

DO AS YOU'RE TOLD.
Click to expand...

Really, can't say that's an opinion I agree with, live and let live
 
....and then complain that men never grow up (post #45)
 
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I see Sunday morning brings forth some sense of humour failures :lol:
 
viv1969 said:
You've got the wrong manual.
The real one is just one line long:

DO AS YOU'RE TOLD.
Click to expand...
Yeah but as we never read the manual it doesn't matter how long the instructions are :p
 
viv1969 said:
You've got the wrong manual.
The real one is just one line long:

DO AS YOU'RE TOLD.
Click to expand...


Possibly but that version is written in unlegibillium ink on invisipaper and is filed in the same place as the plans for the bypass mentioned in the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy but guarded by a dozen leopardesses rather than just the one. Oh, it's written in the Jovian language too.
 
Not that I'm wading in with any sexist nonsense, but I have one question. I can have a shower in 10 minutes... and that's quite a luxurious shower.. relaxed.. unhurried... including shaving. I can get out of the shower and leave the bathroom floor completely dry. My wife takes 30 minutes, and leaves the bathroom looking like it's been submerged!

How is this possible?
 
Pookeyhead said:
Not that I'm wading in with any sexist nonsense, but I have one question. I can have a shower in 10 minutes... and that's quite a luxurious shower.. relaxed.. unhurried... including shaving. I can get out of the shower and leave the bathroom floor completely dry. My wife takes 30 minutes, and leaves the bathroom looking like it's been submerged!

How is this possible?
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If you had boobs and f***y you'd want to take your time and have fun too. I mean they are just there, be rude not too. ............................. ;)
 
ah well, at least

My last name stays put
Chocolate is just another snack
People don't stare at my chest
New shoes don't cut or blister my feet - 3 pairs enough
Car mechanics tell me the truth
Wrinkles add character
a week's holiday needs only one suitcase
Same outfit, hairstyle lasts for months, even years
I can play with toys all my life
I don't have to shave, or if I do, just my face and neck

I was going to add something about moods. My dog was sniffing something while being on the lead, up comes this woman, won't go round us and shouts
"MOVE THAT DOG!!"
When she was out of earshot someone commented "Must be that time of the month"
 
kennethwfd said:
I was going to add something about moods. My dog was sniffing something while being on the lead, up comes this woman, won't go round us and shouts
"MOVE THAT DOG!!"
When she was out of earshot someone commented "Must be that time of the month"
Click to expand...

just remember that dogs are better than women

they don't wake you up at 3am to ask if I died would you get another dog ?
they don't mind if you stroke their friends
they like riding in pick up trucks
and hunting
and they'll let you put a studded collar on them without calling you a pervert

still not convinced ? lock your wife and your dog in the garage for 3 hours, then let them out ... who is pleased to see you ?
 
That reminds me, I wonder where the studded collar is?
 
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.

“So, how is everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem. It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They are a real pain," reported Eve.

Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc, she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body “more symmetrically balanced," as she put it.

“That is a fair point" replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away."
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the
Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve how is my favourite creation?”

"Just fantastic", she replied, “but for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.”

God thought for a moment and said, "You know Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you….

..Now let's see.....where did I put the useless tit?"
 
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