What is the funniest phrase you have heard?

one from my very younger days


haha very funny, never seen a chocolate bunny eating honey.



for some reason it has always stuck,,, but its not that funny
 
John Cooper Clarke one;

Speaking as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
 
Gene Hunt's line - "he's walking like a spastic in a magnet factory"

You could not organize a shag in a brothel

Your village is missing it's idiot, go back home.
 
Rather than the more polite "Well, that's rained on their parade", Mum would say "well, that's f***ed their cat"!
 
Geordi69 said:
Gene Hunt's line - "he's walking like a spastic in a magnet factory"

You could not organize a shag in a brothel

Your village is missing it's idiot, go back home.
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He does a lot of great one liners, and the way he speaks. "This case is moving about as fast as a bunch of spastics in a magnet factory"

"He's a bum bandit....do you understand? A puff, a fairy, a queer a queen, fudgepacker, uphill garderner, fruit picking sodomite......("he's gay?")....as a bloody Christmas tree!"

nilagin said:
I think Charlie Cox, BBC motorsport commentator, comes out with some classics. Things like "He's chucked it at the scenery" when a car goes off.
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He also said after Lorenzo crashed "He needed that like a 3rd armpit" :lol:
 
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The best ones i heard are

Who lit the fuse on your tampon!

and your cry baby, whiny arsed opinion is

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable: Like a coma!!

Made me chuckle!
 
I can only please one person per day, Today is not your day, Tomorrow doesn't look good either! :D
 
"I'll be buggered" seems to be raising a few smiles at the moment :D
 
Apologies to one and all for the language and sorry to resurrect an old thread but a mate said to me today...

"She's got p!$$ flaps like a clowns pocket" - and I couldn't stop myself from a guffawing :lol:


Another recent one when out on the razz with some work folk....

"You men are all the same - you've got a d!ck and brain but only enough blood to power them one at a time!" :lol:
 
tonycommander said:
there is no me in team, but there is a u in **** .....very very very bad swear word begins with c....
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Someone on here used that just last week and it was the first time I had seen it, best one I've heard in a long time!


My personal favourite usually thrown out during a heated debate:

"How can I have a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent?"
 
This one cracked me up... "Never trust a fart when you're over 60"

Some truth in that...
 
When nailing timber together at work a phrase very often used is
'that'll stop er farting in church'
 
im sweating like a fat bird in a cake shop (sorry if that offends)
 
I am so hungry --I could eat a scabby horse between two mattresses.:gag:

As tight as a nuns n*sty. :eek:

Whos pi**ed on your chips ?
 
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as much use as a chocolate fireguard
 
Thick as a whale omelette.
 
"Fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down"
 
oldestswinger said:
Apologies to one and all for the language and "She's got p!$$ flaps like a clowns pocket"
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Flaps like a spaniel's lugs or flaps like John Wayne's saddlebags.

A gash like the sleeve of an army overcoat.
 
Smells like a sumo wrestler's jock strap.
 
How about:

"Hornier than a viking hat shop" ??

Made me laught when i heard it.
 
This one from Erin Brockovich always makes me laugh:

"lady, thats all you got, two left feet and f*****g ugly shoes"
 
About as much use as a handbrake on a Canoe.

How can anyone as ugly as you only have one head?
 
She's got an arse like two badly parked Volvos

If a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing then you my friend are f***ing lethal

BOBFOC - Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch
 
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