What are the police up to !!!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Holden Caulfield
  • Start date Start date
Arkady said:
back to 'Police, Camera, Action!' then...?
Click to expand...

Photo Plod's Invent-A-Cop-Reality-Showtron

Use any one of the following words:
  • Street
  • Brit
  • Road
  • Turf
  • Night
  • Traffic

Then add any of the following:

  • Cops
  • Crime
  • Wars
  • Force
  • Fuzz

If you really want to go for the knockout punch with your series, add "UK" on the end of it.

Ta-da! Ready-made police reality TV show. Make sure you only use police officers with unamusing nicknames that are only funny to their colleagues. Don't forget to bandy words around like "elite" and "squad" around as well.
 
LOl I'm quite entertained by this thread :P:wave:

Photo Plod said:
:lol:

For what it's worth, I realised that this thread started tongue-in-cheek...

That being said, I have dispatched a helicopter to follow Holden in his car wherever he goes.
Click to expand...

chap...can you sort this out when he tries to do some wildlife photography...just for a laugh :bonk::nuts:
 
[YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ux5aLojve50&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Ux5aLojve50&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]
 
neo2810 said:
In future, could everyone please tag their sarcasm with [SARCASM][/SARCASM] for those with a sense of humour defect?
Click to expand...
I've recently bought one of these:
294rzau.jpg


:D
 
I would DEFINITELY watch "Turf Fuzz UK"...... :naughty:
 
maybe they took pity on you for being weird because of what you where photographing.



Holden Caulfield said:
At one point I stood in full view of the surveillance cameras taking photographs of shop fronts and lurked with intent to take more photographs of street signs.
Click to expand...
 
Well,l I even had a t shirt printed with "Free The Shop Front One ' on it. What a waste of money that was....
 
Holden Caulfield said:
I don&#8217;t know what the world is coming to. I spent all day Tuesday in Manchester photographing the Northern Quarter, and was not approached by any police officer to ask what I was doing. At one point I stood in full view of the surveillance cameras taking photographs of shop fronts and lurked with intent to take more photographs of street signs.

Yet, not once was I asked what I was doing, or why I was taking photographs of &#8216;sensitive areas&#8217; , I can only assume that the police are busy raiding crack dens or arresting hardened criminals.

What is the world coming to &#8230;&#8230;.. :thinking:

Piccys
Click to expand...

What exactly is your point?

Edit: What a poor go at sarcasm. Yawn.
 
chris321 said:
I would DEFINITELY watch "Turf Fuzz UK"...... :naughty:
Click to expand...

I dunno - I've started tuning-in to the one featuring the Welsh coppers - that has me in stitches - trying to reason with Fat, Ugly Welsh Birds wrapped in what looks like day-glo cling-film and string at 02.00 hrs in a supermarket car-park surrounded by 1.0 litre Corsas with ricer-exhausts...awesomely unattractive...

Any time i'm feeling hard-done-by I watch one of these shows and immediately feel much better about myself...the spectacular dumbness of some of the members of the public stopped, is little short of breathtaking....:lol:
Last night I watched a guy get arrested for posession of heroin, only for the lab results to discover it was baking-soda...:bonk: bad enough being a junkie, let alone being a ripped-off junkie...lol
 
Arkady said:
I dunno - I've started tuning-in to the one featuring the Welsh coppers - that has me in stitches - trying to reason with Fat, Ugly Welsh Birds wrapped in what looks like day-glo cling-film and string at 02.00 hrs in a supermarket car-park surrounded by 1.0 litre Corsas with ricer-exhausts...awesomely unattractive...
Click to expand...


There's a rule amongst the lower female orders that the fatter and shorter your legs the shorter your skirt must be....
 
Whenever I watch these Fuzz and a Muff shows :D I'm always reminded of the TV info advert thing that said TV shows are expected to show reallity....(Ooooooh, these handcuffs are really chafing you know! .... These cop shows, show that reality is even funnier! these little hard ***** crying like babies just because they've been nicked :lol: .... Coppers should be given nose wipes to deal with all the hard *******s :shake:who get caught kicking the **** out of little old ladies.... or nicking cars :lol:
 
Splog said:
Whenever I watch these Fuzz and a Muff shows :D I'm always reminded of the TV info advert thing that said TV shows are expected to show reallity....(Ooooooh, these handcuffs are really chafing you know! .... These cop shows, show that reality is even funnier! these little hard ***** crying like babies just because they've been nicked :lol: .... Coppers should be given nose wipes to deal with all the hard *******s :shake:who get caught kicking the **** out of little old ladies.... or nicking cars :lol:
Click to expand...

:lol:

It's very common. I made reference to an encounter I had in the previous police-related thread last week when I held a man in an armlock who had just threatened me with a syringe. Mostly they do it to draw attention to "police brutality" and scream and shout as loudly as they can. Never mind that they've just boshed some old lady for her handbag or put someone in hospital. Many of them continue in this vein when they get back to custody...headbutting walls, van doors - anything they can do to hurt themselves to get attention and taken to hospital. :cuckoo:
 
Photo Plod said:
:lol:

It's very common. I made reference to an encounter I had in the previous police-related thread last week when I held a man in an armlock who had just threatened me with a syringe. Mostly they do it to draw attention to "police brutality" and scream and shout as loudly as they can. Never mind that they've just boshed some old lady for her handbag or put someone in hospital. Many of them continue in this vein when they get back to custody...headbutting walls, van doors - anything they can do to hurt themselves to get attention and taken to hospital. :cuckoo:
Click to expand...

I seriously do not envy you and your colleagues....... You have such a hard job to do! Dealing with all this garbage must drive you seriously :cuckoo: Paperwork, Paperwork and more Paperwork...... and why? So lawyers can make more money......... Let them hurt themselves! No... help them to do it and let them suffer, the more painful the better :thumbs:
 
Perhaps if we actually had a proper deterrent,these qwits would behave.No easy street at Strangeways or Pentonville,we should come to an arrangement with the Turks.We pay them to sort our scum out whilst serving time in Instanbul East!

Suddenly being a winnet ain`t so attractive..................;)
 
Splog said:
I seriously do not envy you and your colleagues....... You have such a hard job to do! Dealing with all this garbage must drive you seriously :cuckoo:
Click to expand...

I feel like I entered something like the Twlight Zone when I became a copper.

In custody alone, I've seen prisoners try and drown themselves in the cell toilet, choke themselves on toilet paper, hang themselves with their boxer shorts, open their wrists up with a plastic spoon (snapped in half), pick bits out of the wall to use for self-harming...not to count all the head-bangings on walls and floors.

That's not counting all the ones who cover themselves in poo, smear it around the cell, throw it at you through the wicket, pee all over the floor, etc. :gag:

I understand that prisoners in actual prison can behave even worse...
 
I really do believe that instead of call-centres, we should be out-sourcing our prisons to India...

18 months in a UK jail with Sky TV and nice heated cells isn't great, but 18 months in a cell shared with 150 thuggees and a bucket in the corner might make people think twice about robbing cars...

And as a bonus they'd be farting silently afterwards...lol
 
Sense of humour transplant required for several TP members ;)

C'mon guys, the OP was having a joke - go with it, you might actually like it....
 
It was a joke???
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top