To be honest I don't think there is a one-size-fits-all solution for wedding photographers as they all have diferent approaches and styles. I would recommend you do your research and practice until you find the look you like although will probably take some time. I use one or two pre-bought actions as well as OnOne Phototools but the majority of my processing is now done by my own custom made actions which are geared towards my shooting and processing style.
I use my own lightroom presets as well as some actions. I use Jeff Ascough for converting to B&W as a batch and I also use On One actions and some Kevin Kubota ones for portrait and boudoir images.
I haven't created any of my own PS actions but I do use Alex Nail's web resize & sharpen set, as well as the TLR Sharpening Toolkit - both highly recommended! The web resize ones in particular are incredibly useful, effective and real timesavers.
You don't create your own style. It just develops without you even thinking about it, then one day you'll look back on your work and actually recognise that you actually have a style.
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