We've all done dumb things...But are you as daft as Matt?

jgs001 said:
Oh man... There's some painful things in here. Matt... A small suggestion... quite while you're behind :D...

I sneezed walking through a doorframe. The force of the sneeze was so much I nutted the frame. The bruise on my forehead stood out a good cm or two... I looked like I head a blue/black egg on my forehead for a week.
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Don't know why, but i found this so funny:lol::lol::lol:Sorry:lol::lol:
 
I'm not sure it was the dumbest thing I've ever done, but it was possibly the most embarrassing:-

As a young copper it became very much 'the thing' with colleagues to get Dr Martens boots, and of course I had to go with the trend, so walked into a shoe shop in full uniform and asked for a pair of Dr Whites! To make matters worse there were 3 female staff in the shop and a load of female customers who just collapsed in hysterics. I think I must have stopped blushing about 4 hours later! :$
 
I totally refurbished our first house about fifteen years ago. We moved in about half way through.

I had removed the staircase and we just had a ladder up in its place.

One Saturday morning the telephone rang. I was upstairs and the telephone downstairs. In my haste to answer it I went down the ladder forwards instead of backwards, tripped up and was left hanging upside down from the top rung by one foot.

My wife came down to see what had happened but couldn't stop laughing as I was only wearing her pink flowery dressing gown which was now hanging in the wrong direction, leaving everything exposed.

I'm still not sure how I got away without breaking my ankle.


Steve.
 
I managed to chop my dads fingers off with a Qualcast lawnmower when I was 4 (he managed to get em sewn back on fortunately!! :D)

Oh, and thought it would be a good idea to go BMXing with a bag on my handlebars when I was 10 - face, road, teeth through top lip, crowned 2 front teeth now!! :(
 
Steve Smith said:
I totally refurbished our first house about fifteen years ago. We moved in about half way through.

I had removed the staircase and we just had a ladder up in its place.

One Saturday morning the telephone rang. I was upstairs and the telephone downstairs. In my haste to answer it I went down the ladder forwards instead of backwards, tripped up and was left hanging upside down from the top rung by one foot.

My wife came down to see what had happened but couldn't stop laughing as I was only wearing her pink flowery dressing gown which was now hanging in the wrong direction, leaving everything exposed.

I'm still not sure how I got away without breaking my ankle.


Steve.
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Pure comedy :D
 
All stupid work related, jumped off a platform holding onto a bracket.... wedding ring pulled half way through finger= 7 stitches.
Slipped with a razor blade cutting a pneumatic seal. = 12 stitches.
Tripped over in the dark (after late-shift) carrying a bottle of wine... bottle through hand.= 14 stitches.
Took side panel off strapping machine, carefully placed on top of machine, bent down, shook machine, guard fell on head = no stitches.... good laugh for all spectators.
 
Steve Smith said:
I totally refurbished our first house about fifteen years ago. We moved in about half way through.

I had removed the staircase and we just had a ladder up in its place.

One Saturday morning the telephone rang. I was upstairs and the telephone downstairs. In my haste to answer it I went down the ladder forwards instead of backwards, tripped up and was left hanging upside down from the top rung by one foot.

My wife came down to see what had happened but couldn't stop laughing as I was only wearing her pink flowery dressing gown which was now hanging in the wrong direction, leaving everything exposed.

I'm still not sure how I got away without breaking my ankle.
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Sorry Steve
Just couldnt stop laughing :lol:
 
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Mine's rather mundane by comparison but just as life threatening!

Taking up smoking...
 
jgs001 said:
Oh man... There's some painful things in here. Matt... A small suggestion... quite while you're behind :D...

I sneezed walking through a doorframe. The force of the sneeze was so much I nutted the frame. The bruise on my forehead stood out a good cm or two... I looked like I head a blue/black egg on my forehead for a week.
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You owe me a keybord . I know I am in no postion to talk but HAHAHAHAHAHA
 
Here is another.

Sister just asked me to light her lighter for her as she couldnt! I burnt my bloody thumb. OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Matt Sayle said:
You owe me a keybord . I know I am in no postion to talk but HAHAHAHAHAHA
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What did you do to it... Nutted it ? Is your forehead covered in key shaped indentations :lol: Sorry couldn't resist :D
 
A silly thing I did when i was a kid was I went to view the purchase of one of my dads old motorbikes and he had taken it out for a test drive I then decided to check if the bike was still hot by touching the crash bars and then the exhaust...

I spent the rest of the night with a soaking wet towel wrapped around my hand to cool the burn.
 
When I was about 7, the switch on my television broke. I decided to go downstairs to get a metal knife to push into the gap to switch the tv on.

I was awakened by my father, I had been threw about 15ft across the living room and ended up behind the sofa. He only noticed because he was out in the garage and the main trip went. To this day I have an incredible resistance to electricity. I can hold onto an electric fence not a problem.
 
On an old Townsend ferry checking a bank of capacitors I picked up my un insulated pliers to disconnect them one at a time (to check for the dead one) on about the tenth I found myself taking a flying lesson across the engine room not sure if it was the shock or my head hitting a bulkhead but I was out for a while.

When I was about 5 I threw half a house brick in the air and ran, unfortunately to the spot it chose to return to earth 4 stitches Doh!!


Got a few more but don't want to catch up with Matt :D
 
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CT said:
I'm not sure it was the dumbest thing I've ever done, but it was possibly the most embarrassing:-

As a young copper it became very much 'the thing' with colleagues to get Dr Martens boots, and of course I had to go with the trend, so walked into a shoe shop in full uniform and asked for a pair of Dr Whites! To make matters worse there were 3 female staff in the shop and a load of female customers who just collapsed in hysterics. I think I must have stopped blushing about 4 hours later! :$
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There is a burger bar in Seven Kings which sells 4oz, 8 oz, 12oz and 16 oz burgers, then there are the optional extras to go in the burgers such as cheese, bacon, mushrooms, salad, fried egg, pineapple ring and more. If you require the lot in any sized burger it is known as a blow out.
I know a bloke who went in there and asked for a blow job.:lol:
Can't think of any of my own dumb things at the moment.
 
passed a cop car at the end of a dual carriageway doing about 110 on the bike.
fortunately for me, i also passed the two lorries that were infront of him, and he didnt see me turn of a side road quarter of a mile further along.
i dont do that now.
 
Tried to jump a chain link fence that was about 2 feet high when i was a kid, result, tripped, fell, 3/4 inch piece of paving slab embedded into my skull and broke off, had to go to the hospital to have it removed, and 6 stitches put in. They gave me the piece of slab to keep though.

Also, got given a pea shooter, thought it would be funny to fire one from my nose, so put the pea up there, then, yep you guessed it, breathed in through my nose, pea went up about as far as possible, had to have it fished out with some hook type thing at the hospital. I was so accidental as a kid, that plus ADHD and Epilepsy, all the nurses knew me by my name:lol:
 
I was putting christmas decoration up on my first floor flat roof and stepped back to admire my work and stepped off the roof.

Didn't break anything but ended up in hospital for an operation 2 months later when the bruise caused me to get blood poisoning!

The other half just laughed at me!
 
Ewan said:
I've punched myself in the balls before! :D:D:D:D:D

Wasn't nice :nono:
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I've seen a video on my mates phone of his mate called "Pikey" Dunno why he's called that but anywhos, He is stoned and was constantly punching himself in the balls :eek: And it didnt hurt him!!!!
 
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The saddle hit me in those which I hold most dear.

One of the most painful things I've ever experienced.
 
erm...walked behind a friends mare when in season, she double-barrelled me in the ribs, consequently breaking 5 and scratching my kidney! Knocked me back 6ft, was found by her hubby a while later laying on a pile of shavings "looking really comfy"!

also, was working at the yard, went up behind one of the trekkers and slapped him on the ass to get him moving a bit faster, unfortunately, i'd got in between him and his girlfriend, he kicked me in the leg resulting in a trip to the hospital and 20 stitches! (i've been there 8years now, you'd think id've learnt!)

when i was 6, i lived in a first floor flat, my mum was outside putting washing on the line and shouted to me, so i opened the window to talk to her, cat went out onto the windowsill, i shut the window, trapping cat's tail, he screached, i opened the window, but he'd ran in front of it, and I accidentally pushed him off!
 
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