Well that was careless

Inventive, if nothing else :lol:

At least you didn't do anything really daft Nod, like....oh I don't know...touch a stinging nettle just to check if it was indeed a nettle :whistling:

yeah but you're blonde :whistling: :exit:
















(I'm sorry I cannot tell a lie - It was in fact me who was stupid enough to say "oh I wonder if thats a nettle.... ah b****r it it is)
 
Last edited:
I was walking home from the pub one night when I desperately needed to "pour a pint". A handy gateway appeared, so I stopped and unleashed. Unfortunately, a truck went past and the bow wave of air was enough to destabilise me (well, the gallon or so I had imbibed [how the hell did we used to fit so much cider in back then?!] had helped...) and I staggered forward a critical 6" or so. Just enough to bring a sensitive part of my anatomy into rather too close proximity to the nettles.

Thankfully, a couple of paracetamol dealt with the pain and equally thankfully, the swelling's never subsided!!!

(First para true, second invention - paracetamol doesn't touch sting pain!!! :D)
 
In your dreams of washed out paths...
 
A friend of mine - not me, a girl - must be the most accident prone person I know. In just over a year, she:

Slammed the boot of her car on her thumb. Blood everywhere, screaming and swearing, and a trip to hospital for surgery because her thumb was badly broken.

Fell into a swimming pool at a party. That's not all that unusual in South Africa, when people are drinking, but this was at the shallow end. She climbed out thinking it was pretty funny, and collapsed with a broken ankle. She was on crutches for months following botched surgery, and eventually they rebroke her ankle and started again.

Lost her car keys at a New Year party, and had to wait for the AA the following morning because they were busy. Drove home and realised that her flat key was on the same ring as the car keys. No problem. She went round to the back of the flats, took her shoes off, and climbed up to her balcony. Of course, the door leading into the flat was locked, so she broke a pane of glass in it, reached through, turned the key, and stepped inside - onto the broken glass. Bad cut, more screaming, and the cat woke up in a panic and sank its claws into her foot. At this point, her useless boyfriend started knocking on the door and telling her to hurry up because he was thirsty and wanted a drink of water.

She's wonderful, and one of my best friends!
 
At the ship yard I worked at we got h+s notices sent to us via email, one day we got a red (high) alert.

A guy had been grinding off some steel and got a bit of metal stuck in his eye, not that uncommon in a ship yard but....
Instead of going to the hospital bay to get it sort he had the bright idea of getting it out himself.... with a needle... resulting in not just metal in his eye but a large scratch on his eye ball!
 
and the prize for most supid person in the world go's to... eeyores mate (tell me it wasnt Winnie the Pooh :eek: ) I can't top that

although the bloke I know who thought his chainsaw was getting a bit blunt so he thought he'd better test it , comes a close second. All of us test chainsaw sharpness by pressing the ball of our thumb to the chain (which in itself isnt dangerous) - however most of us generally prefer to stop the chainsaw first :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
A friend of mine - not me, a girl - must be the most accident prone person I know. In just over a year, she:

Slammed the boot of her car on her thumb. Blood everywhere, screaming and swearing, and a trip to hospital for surgery because her thumb was badly broken.

Fell into a swimming pool at a party. That's not all that unusual in South Africa, when people are drinking, but this was at the shallow end. She climbed out thinking it was pretty funny, and collapsed with a broken ankle. She was on crutches for months following botched surgery, and eventually they rebroke her ankle and started again.

Lost her car keys at a New Year party, and had to wait for the AA the following morning because they were busy. Drove home and realised that her flat key was on the same ring as the car keys. No problem. She went round to the back of the flats, took her shoes off, and climbed up to her balcony. Of course, the door leading into the flat was locked, so she broke a pane of glass in it, reached through, turned the key, and stepped inside - onto the broken glass. Bad cut, more screaming, and the cat woke up in a panic and sank its claws into her foot. At this point, her useless boyfriend started knocking on the door and telling her to hurry up because he was thirsty and wanted a drink of water.

She's wonderful, and one of my best friends!

So, did you get the glass of water or did you have to wait for the ambulancemen to get you one?:bonk:
 
So, did you get the glass of water or did you have to wait for the ambulancemen to get you one?:bonk:

I wish...........but I think I'd just have forced the door open. There's also the small matter of another, and very precious, lady in my life who would have been seriously hacked off if she'd found out that I'd gone to a party with someone else, even though she was about 6000 miles away at the time!
 
I wish...........but I think I'd just have forced the door open. There's also the small matter of another, and very precious, lady in my life who would have been seriously hacked off if she'd found out that I'd gone to a party with someone else, even though she was about 6000 miles away at the time!

You better hope your missus doesnt find out about either of them as well :lol:
 
At the ship yard I worked at we got h+s notices sent to us via email, one day we got a red (high) alert.

A guy had been grinding off some steel and got a bit of metal stuck in his eye, not that uncommon in a ship yard but....
Instead of going to the hospital bay to get it sort he had the bright idea of getting it out himself.... with a needle... resulting in not just metal in his eye but a large scratch on his eye ball!

He'd have got scratches on his eyeball the second he started blinking anyway.


Before I started working at Ford they had some small power presses with flywheels on the side. Although the flywheels had a metal guard over them, the guard had an open inspection hole. Someone for whatever reason decided to put his finger in the hole and chopped it off. This "accident" was witnessed by another employee and the Safety officer asked him what happened. So rather than tell the safety officer, he showed him, also chopping off his finger. :shrug::lol:
 
You better hope your missus doesnt find out about either of them as well :lol:

Hmm. My wife was 6000 miles away, because we live in different countries quite a lot of the time. I suppose there is a lovely blonde friend in Cape Town, but that's only 1000 miles from Jozi. I'll stop now, before the hole I'm digging gets any deeper.................
 
Actually although I must admit that was pretty stupid, Pete,
I have a mate that is a total < fill in the blank>
You never ever enter a mews (hawk house)
without wearing or at least carrying a glove.
Mistake number one.

Never approach your Imprint female Finnish Goshawk
without wearing said glove these are huge birds
Mistake number two.

The Gos threw a foot at him, and bound around his hand, yep pretty much all the way.
Never ever reach out with a bare hand to try and free said grabbed hand
with your other bare hand (yep this is why you carry a glove, "just in case")
Mistake number three.

Said Gos reaches out and grabbes other bare hand.
He is now handcuffed, by a 3lb plus killing machine on steriods.

He reckons that it took 3 hours to get free (for her to relax enough to let go)
it was probably more like 10-15 mins of relaxing in pretty much agony :D

Its OK folks I also PMSL when he told me the story too :D

I remember the first time i saw a harpy eagle, I couldn't believe the size and power of this bird, you wouldn't want one of those on you....:gag:
 
Driving into the back of someone. That's going to cost me.
 
Driving into the back of someone. That's going to cost me.

Oh dear - I hope you are okay (and everyone else involved of course)

I had a couple of not thinking moments last night

a) when you drop a razor sharp chisel, its generally not a good idea to put your foot out to break its fall :eek:

(fortunately i was wearing tectors and although it cut straight through the leather the very edge caught on the kevlar toe cap and stopped it from going into my foot)

b) When introducing a wooden box to a router table cutter spinning at 30,000rpm its generally a good idea to have a firm hold on the work piece so that it doesnt spin out of your grasp, bounce off your head and then smash to bits on the floor.

(no injuries other than a minor bruise and injured pride)

Must not do workshop work when mind is on other things :bonk:
 
Last edited:
Oh I'm fine. Just a wandering mind and anticipating that the person in front of me would move. They didn't.
 
Hmmm... driving into the back of someone and the first comment is "Bu99er"!!!

Hope is wasn't the boss's car you pranged! (And obviously glad you're OK.)
 
Hmmm... driving into the back of someone and the first comment is "Bu99er"!!!

I thought the comment was b****r :lol:
 
Hmmm... driving into the back of someone and the first comment is "Bu99er"!!!

Hope is wasn't the boss's car you pranged! (And obviously glad you're OK.)

No no...my own jalopy.
 
Driving into the back of someone. That's going to cost me.

Must be a TP thing running into the back of another car...some of us just do it with a bit more gymnastic style throwing a bit of spin a roll :D
 
Must be a TP thing running into the back of another car...some of us just do it with a bit more gymnastic style throwing a bit of spin a roll :D

Not everyone has your sense of style :lol:
 
Must be a TP thing running into the back of another car...some of us just do it with a bit more gymnastic style throwing a bit of spin a roll :D

I must try harder. :)
 
I must try harder. :)

Please don't - not everyone has the... ahem... 'padding' which helped matt come out of his stunt with only a graze on his arse arm :lol:
 
Incidentally i just reversed one of the work vans into the side of the other one :bang: (fortunately no damage to either)

this inattention to where one is going seems to be catching :eek:
 
Incidentally i just reversed one of the work vans into the side of the other one........

:bonk:

*Edit*.....Wait....I forgot the important bit....

LLLOOOOOOOOSER!!!! :lol:
 
Last edited:
Please don't - not everyone has the... ahem... 'padding' which helped matt come out of his stunt with only a graze on his arse arm :lol:

Exactly Ruth don't try and out do me I really don't recommend it...think of the warning on films ;)
 
Must be a TP thing running into the back of another car...some of us just do it with a bit more gymnastic style throwing a bit of spin a roll :D

Did anyone see a broken down TR? Matt didn't! (Sorry!!! :p)
 
Incidentally i just reversed one of the work vans into the side of the other one :bang: (fortunately no damage to either)

this inattention to where one is going seems to be catching :eek:

that reminds me of my old man reversing his then New to him range rover (classic shaped lump of steel) right into one of his new vans only been in the fleet about a month :bang: this was in the yard of our old office, so promptly had to phone our broker to report both damaged vehicles :bang:

Did anyone see a broken down TR? Matt didn't! (Sorry!!! :p)

BOOM BOOM
 
Must be a TP thing running into the back of another car...some of us just do it with a bit more gymnastic style throwing a bit of spin a roll :D

There is always someone trying to get one-upmanship :D
(Glad you are came out the other side pretty much in one piece Matt :thumbs:)
 

There is always someone trying to get one-upmanship :D
(Glad you are came out the other side pretty much in one piece Matt :thumbs:)

Thanks Chris you not the only one that's glad :D
 
Accidentally leaving the interior light on in the car whilst spending hours wandering around the zoo.

Cue hero with leads and oodles of patience, to the rescue :lol:
 
Accidentally leaving the interior light on in the car whilst spending hours wandering around the zoo.

Cue hero with leads and oodles of patience, to the rescue :lol:

Got that beat ;) set of to catch ferry at 2am reach holyhead in daylight at the very front of the line...then wait 4 hours for ferry in broad day light with main beam on :bang: go to start car as soon as told to board ferry, that's right flat as a pancake with dozens of cars stuck behind us who all like us had paid for priority boarding and disembarkation :bang:
 
Got that beat ;) set of to catch ferry at 2am reach holyhead in daylight at the very front of the line...then wait 4 hours for ferry in broad day light with main beam on :bang: go to start car as soon as told to board ferry, that's right flat as a pancake with dozens of cars stuck behind us who all like us had paid for priority boarding and disembarkation :bang:

Oh b****r....you win :lol:
Funny thing is I'm staying right next to the zoo, but the flat battery meant a little trip back to the motorway to cane it up a junction and back before checking in :lol:

C'est la vie!
 
Back
Top