Wedding problem again

woody12

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Hi, posted a little while ago that a friend asked me to do the photos for his wedding as he'd liked my photos on Facebook. I told him didn't want to do it as people as photography didn't interest me and I hadn't got the skills. He understood and got someone else but as a guest I said I would take some shots to enhance my skills and give him some extra shots that the proper photography didn't maybe do. He was happy and so was I. Now two weeks before the event all his friends and mine we go round together are saying looking forward to seeing your photos now your the only photography booked. Apparently he dropped the proper photography due to funds and
I'm cheap - free! Everyones saying your do a good job, your photos are lovely, but everyone thinks taking pictures is easy at a wedding! Just tell that to the poor people who do this for a living. I tackled my friend explaining my concerns but he said we're happy with you and didn't want to stress you out. Exactly when were they going to tell me - the day of the wedding? I have a Nikon 3100' 18-55 and 35 1,.8 and 55-300 lens. Is there any more lens that will help? I have batteries and plenty of cards and a tripod but is there any more equipment I need. Worried about flash as have no flash gun at present. What have I got myself into? Really annoyed about this but want to do the best I can do. Thoughts and help please.
 
wider aperture lens would help.
I had wedding last weekend & had to shoot at ISO1600, f2.8 to get useable shutter speeds during the ceremony without flash.
Do you know anyone who can lend you kit or come along & help you?
 
To be honest, he's dropped you right in it. The main point being that you're not really going to get to enjoy his wedding. You are now there to do a "job", and won't be able to relax or take in the celebration like everyone else.

Equipment wise, depending on the venue you may struggle to get the 35mm f/1.8 off of your camera and the kit lens and tele don't exactly have the low light capibilty you'll need, if you're being asked to take photo or the reception/dancing etc, a flash is going to be pretty essential as onboard really doesn't cut it.

Good luck!
 
All the advice has been written on these forums before but yep, faster glass, back up cameras etc all hold true. Just remember if you agree to do this you'll no longer feel like a guest, you will be working (and it will feel like it)

If, as you say you are really not comfortable doing this then don't but, if you want to help out then you could start off reading this http://www.rokkorfiles.com/Wedding101-page1.html
 
Sounds to me like your mate has pulled the wool over your eyes buddy. If I were you I'd tell him that he has put you in an awkward situation as your name will now be attached to those photographs. I really hope it all goes well for you pal.
 
You're mate has dropped you right in it hasn't he ;).

Personally I'd stick to your guns, if you don't feel comfortable don't do it. After all you want to enjoy the wedding, and its effectively stopping you doing that.

H
 
Hi, thanks for comments and advice. It just annoys me that because you have a camera you can just go and do weddings. It has taken me two years to master my dslr and I'm still learning and will for years to come. Photography is a hobby for me and it irritates me when friends say how hard can it be, you look through a screen and press a button and your a world class. Deep down I'm looking forward to attempting this which is way out of my comfort zone- normally landscapes I enjoy. But don't want to let myself down with poor pictures. Don't care about my friend really as he should pay for what someone does as a living stroke business. He didn't mind paying for a top venue or disco and buffet. Sorry to rant but annoys me that people see photography as easy as picking up a camera. Thanks again, I will go looking for a external flash gun now.
 
Maybe you could have a problem develop with your camera the night before and be very apologetic? He is not being at all fair and is spending money on everything else but expects perfection (and he will!) from you for nothing. It will spoil your day as a guest.

What does the bride think about potentially having no decent photos of her big day?

Heather
 
Concentrate on capturing the important moments use the 35 as much as you can for the extra quality. Don't let the day go by getting stressed keep your cool and don't let any comments people may make bother you. Try to react with people in a polite manner

This friend has put you into a corner I'd deliberatley take a few really bad shots of him! :)
 
I will go looking for a external flash gun now.

I wouldn't buy any extra kit just for this.
If he wants you to do the photography ask him to either pay for the extra kit or to pay for the original photographer to do the wedding.
 
Good luck buddy, with friends like those who needs enemies. As it's unlikely that you're going to get any more expensive lenses or a good flash in time you basically have 2 choices, do it or don't. If you don't you feel like you've let your mate and everybody down and if you do and it goes wrong you feel like you've let your mate and everybody down. It's a lose lose situation.

On the other hand, if you keep cool, keep the 35 f1.8 on and you can borrow a flash you might just make it. Instant Hero! I ended up in a similar situation a while back when the photographer had a crash on the way and was delayed till mid way through the reception. I hated every minute of it (I'd had no preparation at all) and as luck would have it it was close enough to go and collect all my gear and get back in time. I was lucky enough to have backup if I needed it, but I didn't. I only needed a couple of extra lenses.

Thankfully, it just about worked out in the end, my photos while not to pro standards were enough for them to be happy. Don't worry about what'll happen if anything breaks (you've no control over it) and if it does, just apologise and that's all you can do. That's the worst that can happen, but with a bit of luck you can do a lot better than that.
 
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I agree you've been dropped right in it. I dont know much about wedding photography myself but i guess a little preparation is going to be essensial, As had been said a ETTL flash and defuser is a must. Hopefully you will get a good day for it and not need to worry about the light but an apeture of f5.6 should be good enough for most photos to keep things nice and sharp.

Good Luck
 
Go for it. Just do your best and see what he says afterwards.

Just don't stress yourself.

The food is more important than the photos or they could have dropped that instead !!!

Don't worry about all this nonsense about your name being attached to the photos as you're not exactly doing this as a career.
 
Personally I'd turn up without a camera, and when asked where it was, explain that you had a problem with it and left it at home. Should allow you to enjoy the day without the stress. After all, it's not like you're being paid to do a job.
 
Sorry but your friend has got a bit of a cheek to put it lightly! Especially after you telling him previously that you didn't want to do it.

As you say, when was he going to tell you? On the morning of the wedding??? Would he expect to get the venue, food, DJ etc for free??
But, as a decent mate (Can't say the same about him! :)) I suppose you don't want to let him down? So if you are sure, suppose its a good way to enhance your portfolio and you never know - You might find your forte!
Good luck buddy let us know how you get on
 
Feel for you mate, sounds like your friend has dropped you right in it here. I'm no pro, but I've shot a couple of weddings for friends and family. There's loads of pro togs on here who will offer decent advice, but my two pence worth is :

Visit the venue beforehand - scope out good locations for group shots

Get a plan of the order of the day, so you can plan in your mind where you need to be at what point

Get a list of the couples required 'group shots' and have this to hand

Try to get someone on board to assist, this can be invaluable when you're starting out, I find this helped me loads, someone to help perhaps calling out names and lining people up (a cousin, gobby best man/friend, aunty sarah or whoever!)

Remember to make sure everyone is lined up correctly before taking the group shots, bunch everyone up, no awkward gaps! (look up some examples on here of great wedding poses)

Take control of the shots you want, there's probably going to be a fair few uncle bobs hanging around, make sure you command the shot and people look at your camera!

get hold of a flash and get a diffuser, practice taking pictures of friends or family, bouncing the flash off walls/ceilings to reduce shadows

keep hydrated - it can be a long day, be calm, friendly, and and try to enjoy it.

Good luck.
 
Personally I'd turn up without a camera, and when asked where it was, explain that you had a problem with it and left it at home. Should allow you to enjoy the day without the stress. After all, it's not like you're being paid to do a job.

Please don't do this unless you want to lose him as a friend, along with the bride and all their families and any other friends you have in common who will probably feel sorry for him. Two wrongs etc...

Just do your best and try to enjoy what you can of the wedding - and then invoice him for a bottle of Whiskey/Brandy or whatever afterwards.

Yes, he's been inconsiderate but now he owes you one and you never know when you might need some help from him.

Alan
 
I think your best bet is to have a chat with your mate (and his partner if possible) and let him know what your concerns are.

It might be that the other mates have it wrong and he is not relying on you in the way you're thinking. At least it will clear the air and give you the chance to understand what you are both expecting.

If you decide to do the shoot, this should give you the chance to make sure he knows that while you will do your best, you are not making any promises about how the pics will turn out.

If he is a good mate, you'll sort it together.
 
Honest opinion, nothing to do with photography. Sit the couple down and tell them you're not doing it.

They've taken advantage of a friendship to make you do something you're not happy about. There's no outcome that'll make everyone happy, so you might as well make sure you're not the one stressed off the planet about something that's not your problem.
 
You are a very good friend not to have just said no!
The worst thing will be the group shots, do they want any formal posed group shots? Find out which ones they want before hand and insist that they nominate someone to round the people up. The guests will be wilfully disobedient at best and it may take a firm hand/voice!
Fill-in flash is essential on sunny days, not sure when the wedding is but these guys do any amazing course for only £95 called speedlight wizardry:- http://www.photographyworkshops.co.uk/
Are you taking Bride and Groom shots? If so have a little look around the venue for good locations, then come up with a plan of poses/shots for each location. Mine is always a paper plan (I rarely refer to it but I can if my mind goes blank). Props are good. champagne & Glasses should be available at the venue for example.
Have a good understanding of what they are expecting from you, if it's just candid shots then great! But if they want a more formal set of images make sure you plan well! My 2 zoom lenses 24-105 and 70-200 are only f4 but at 1600 ISO they're fine in church. If not I have a nifty fifty (50mm f1.8) to fall back on but that one's manual zoom!!!!!!
Good luck, you really are a good friend I am sure I would have said no in the same situation!
Marion
www.marionfrances.co.uk
 
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Woody where abouts are you based?
 
Apparently he dropped the proper photography due to funds, and I'm cheap - free!

I have a Nikon 3100' 18-55 and 35 1,.8 and 55-300 lens. Is there any more lens that will help? I have batteries and plenty of cards and a tripod but is there any more equipment I need. Worried about flash as have no flash gun at present. What have I got myself into? Really annoyed about this but want to do the best I can do. Thoughts and help please.

Ermmmm, well to state the blatantly obvious to those reading it,,,, your thinking of dishing out, at your own expense, to work for free and no other reward at a so called friends wedding??

Your seriously thinking of paying for your friends wedding photography by spending notable money on kit and/or training that you would otherwise not contemplate purchasing for your general needs?

Because they don't want to pay for their wedding photography????

I honestly think you are barmy for even considering it.

All the signs here are pointing to a great deal of disrespect, look at what you put, they have ditched a photographer and landed you with a hell of a job and assume you should take responsibility and foot the expense?
There is no respect in such an arrangement and it could easily all end in disaster, not to put to fine a point to the obvious but being a "guest" and being a "professional" are 2 very different roles and don't mix well.

Finally being blunt if anyone,, and I mean anyone that called themselves a friend did that to me I would not even attend the wedding, let alone photograph it.
 
A bit off track but my best man didn't turn up for any thing for my wedding and I now dont talk to him he got ditched a few weeks before the wedding and my now brother in law was my best man

Also I wouldnt buy kit to get the best pictures
At least ask for some money or get him to buy you what you need
It's only fair
 
I see from re-reading the first post that you did tackle your friend over this, but maybe you need to go through it again. It sounds like you weren't able to really let him know what you're feeling (especially now as it gets closer and you've had more chance to think about it) and make sure his expectations are realistic.

All the technical advice sounds good, but you probably still need to get past the threshold question of just what your role will be.

I did a wedding shoot for my parents-in-law last year, at their request. I was (and very much am) still learning and the shots weren't great, but they were happy as the quality was what they were expecting and they gathered in photos from other guests too. By having a shared understanding of what was expected, I still got to enjoy the wedding and it was a good result all round. The one thing I wish is that I could do it all again a year down the track, when I know the results would be still WAY short of any kind of pro quality, but a LOT better than back then.

Whatever happens - good luck and try to make sure you have fun with the photography and the 'guesting'!
 
Woody where abouts are you based?

Well if I still had my pro gear and was near you, I'd give you a hand.
Perhaps some retired or ex pro may offer?

Chivers67?

You never know?

Tell the guys your location. ;)
 
I'd try to speak with both of the parties involved, and point out the screamingly obvious: you're not a wedding photographer. If, and only if, they accept that, and are absolutely clear they're not expecting great things (after all, it's not like it's a special occasion *cough*), feel free to turn up with what you have. That's the key - if they're genuinely fine with whatever you can provide, then it's okay; my fear, however, is they might say that now, and leave the shocked disappointment until afterward.

This feels like a terrible lose-lose situation, but perhaps it's much less serious than it sounds.
 
Hi, sorry late getting back but working in a real job and only just got back. Once again thanks for all the comments makes me feel better. Had a chat with the bride and groom and they both don't expect miracles just nice in focus pictures. I'm based in Essex - herts but feel after the chat I'm a lot happy and what will be will be. Thanks
 
Hi, sorry late getting back but working in a real job and only just got back. Once again thanks for all the comments makes me feel better. Had a chat with the bride and groom and they both don't expect miracles just nice in focus pictures. I'm based in Essex - herts but feel after the chat I'm a lot happy and what will be will be. Thanks

That is a very important point - do all your preparation and "worrying" beforehand and on the day do your best without getting too stressed.
I was in a similar situation a few years ago - I used a D40 with the 18-55 kit lens, a SB400 flash and a tripod - no backup!.
I could not get to the venue beforehand but I got the groom to be to take a lot of external shots and send them to me and I could not get a list of desired shots from the couple. Nearly all my shots could have been better but the couple loved them :)
I did not take any candid evening shots as there were so many other people taking them so I did relax during that part.
If you have not done many people shots you need to practice, I did a lot of practice shots of the rear seat of my car so I could feel confident about taking the Bride & Father and the Bride & Groom shots, I found that the best ones were with the door open and the shot taken through the open window :D.
FWIW I enjoyed it, good luck and have fun.
 
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My suggestion is NO STRESS! If he cancel proper photographer, then it's not your fault. Just do the best what you can.
Probably you should get flash, flash will really help. Also check some other photographers portfolio, it will help to understand what type of photos people like. Just to some couple shoots and guest shoots.
Next time you will be better.
 
Personally I'd turn up without a camera, and when asked where it was, explain that you had a problem with it and left it at home. Should allow you to enjoy the day without the stress. After all, it's not like you're being paid to do a job.


Exactly this!! :thumbs:
 
Tell them to sod off and don`t even turn up for the wedding.

Free loading pizztakers.
 
fracster said:
Tell them to sod off and don`t even turn up for the wedding.

Free loading pizztakers.

Again I find myself in agreement. Must be something in the air. ;)
 
Not a nice situation, my Brother has asked me to do the same thing next year, I had the same concerns as you. I've managed to persuade a few members of my family to pay for a pro tog, to do the wedding ceremony and group shots etc afterwards. I'll be complimenting that by taking some shots early in the morning and various candids through the day, no pressure on me and I'll be able to enjoy the day, good luck with your decisions mate.
 
Thanks for all the replies, it really helps. Have draw an agreement which has been witnessed and signed by the bride and groom that I'm not being paid and any results of the day are subject to amateur shooting. I told them I will try my best but don't expect professional quality. This they signed so I feel better that they know the score and can't moan after the event. Will size up the location and will write up a list of various shots and positions for the day from bride entering to group and bride and groom after the event. Have borrowed a flash gun for later in evening and a friend says he will help get groups ready. One thing we disagreed on was me travelling to the brides home to take photos of getting ready. I don't really know the lady and feel a thirty mile round trip before reaching the registrar office for free is too much
 
I refer you again to mine and Fracs previous comments. ;)
 
Thanks for all the replies, it really helps. Have draw an agreement which has been witnessed and signed by the bride and groom that I'm not being paid and any results of the day are subject to amateur shooting. I told them I will try my best but don't expect professional quality. This they signed so I feel better that they know the score and can't moan after the event. Will size up the location and will write up a list of various shots and positions for the day from bride entering to group and bride and groom after the event. Have borrowed a flash gun for later in evening and a friend says he will help get groups ready. One thing we disagreed on was me travelling to the brides home to take photos of getting ready. I don't really know the lady and feel a thirty mile round trip before reaching the registrar office for free is too much
I`m trying real hard to be nice here. But please, just tell them to sod off.
 
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