we all know one person like this.

Lynton said:
If I had £1 for every person who claimed to be "first through the window" I'd have several pounds by now...... :thumbs::thumbs::lol:
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Yeh! But this bloke was the real deal, honest.:p:lol:
 
Pah that's nothing ... i have way more friends than anyone on this thread, who have all been to the moon and back ...or was it Mars?? And they have faster cars and bigger bikes and bigger dads and they are bigger stronger and faster than any of your friends ... so there :)
 
I worked with a bloke who always got a cold/ flu/ black death whenever someone else was poorly, the assistant manageress was off for a few days being sick and he asked to go home as he thought he had " whatever Anne's got", turns out she was pregnant.................
 
:lol: that's brilliant!
 
There was a guy we (me and my dad) worked with in london in 1989. He turned up on site with a brand new bag of tools(we are chippies) so we asked him why they where all brand spanking new.
Well all me tools got knicked on the last job, ok good reason but then as time went on you just knew everything he said was a load of rubbish.

Best one was, when we where all sitting having lunch, and the convo went a little like this

Him - yes I was in 4 para just over 6 years ago
My dad - oh yes I spent 14 years in the TA (he did, he loved it)
Him - yes been all over the world and seen a bit of action
Dad - will not ask where as normally its secret (the wind up starts)
him- oh yes lots of missions that would make your toes curl
Dad- best be careful of this one lads, he a ticking time bomb that can go off at any moment
Him - no we are taught restraint and controle, perfectly safe with me
Dad - so you know un armed combat, kill a man with your bare hands
Him - oh yes trained at all arts of deadly un armed combat
Dad - so nothing frightens you
Him - No nothin seen it all

Ok break time is over so we all stand up to walk out at which point my dad turns and goes to throw a punch at him (in jest) what does he do? breaks my dad arm with one healthy un armed combat strike to turn my dad defencless?????

Na stuff that he cowers to the ground like a big girls blouse!!!! Ohhh how we all laughed.

spike
 
Tezz450D said:
Pah that's nothing ... i have way more friends than anyone on this thread, who have all been to the moon and back ...or was it Mars?? And they have faster cars and bigger bikes and bigger dads and they are bigger stronger and faster than any of your friends ... so there :)
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Doesn't that make you feel a little inadequate? :thinking::D:D
 
The annoying part of all this... what about when someone's actually telling the truth?

Take my current job for instance, which has me in America right now flying around in a helicopter, taking low level photos and videos of power lines all over the place. A job no one's ever heard of, and I'm sure when I tell people, they don't believe me!
 
gm43uk said:
I worked with someone who was always boasting - he claimed he was a pilot in the RAF and flew Tornados but when I showed him some video I shot at an airshow he didn't recognise a Tornado... he asked if it was Concorde! He had a picture in his office of some aircrew standing by a jet which he claimed was taken when he was in the RAF... only problem was the plane was an American F15, which the RAF never flew and his face was badly photoshopped over the genuine aircrew.

But his RAF career was soon forgotten after a few pints, then he'd let the cat out of the bag and reveal all about his career in the SAS! We'd get all the tales of his "secret" missions and how, even after 15 years they keep asking him back because of his expertise.
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I was working for a big bank about the time of desert storm. Just before it all kicked off properly one of my colleagues came back in on a tuesday having not been at work "unexpectedly" on the monday.

His excuse was that he'd been parachuted into kuwait over the weekend to train some locals. Made out he was 23 SAS. Even told us he's been asked to "carry" at all times just in case.
 
Adam_M said:
The annoying part of all this... what about when someone's actually telling the truth?

Take my current job for instance, which has me in America right now flying around in a helicopter, taking low level photos and videos of power lines all over the place. A job no one's ever heard of, and I'm sure when I tell people, they don't believe me!
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Yeah, nobody believes me when I tell them I'm Kylie's sex slave.
 
Adam_M said:
The annoying part of all this... what about when someone's actually telling the truth?

Take my current job for instance, which has me in America right now flying around in a helicopter, taking low level photos and videos of power lines all over the place. A job no one's ever heard of, and I'm sure when I tell people, they don't believe me!
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That's nothing, for the past few years Tony Blair has been going around telling everyone he is our Middle East Peace Envoy :naughty:
 
Flash In The Pan said:
That's nothing, for the past few years Tony Blair has been going around telling everyone he is our Middle East Peace Envoy :naughty:
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Hehe.
 
there are many compulsive liars about, once knew a guy who claimed to be in the SAS and also MI6! I know for certain he wasn't but was so convinced in his own lies that he kept lying to convince himself. No-one in the SAS would EVER tell you that they are in it! some of stories were amusing but it wasn't funny after a year or two of working with him
 
gumbo-67 said:
You say "I've broken my arm"

they say "oh i broke mine in 10 places and can hardly use it"

You say "i am going to xxxxx on holiday"

They say " I am going via private jet to a private island all 10*"

you say " really proud of child getting said job."

they say " mine is being head hunted by a trillion firms"

These are just a few but no matter what always has to be better why? when it is all bull poo :bang:

sorry
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I bet your bottom dollar I know more people like this than anyone else.
 
symmetricalOCD said:
there are many compulsive liars about, once knew a guy who claimed to be in the SAS and also MI6! I know for certain he wasn't but was so convinced in his own lies that he kept lying to convince himself. No-one in the SAS would EVER tell you that they are in it! some of stories were amusing but it wasn't funny after a year or two of working with him
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I think people like this have issues, perhaps low self-esteem and feel they have to embelish/lie to impress people.

Ironically most will see through the lies and treat them with the contempt they deserve and be more stand-offish with them increasing the their insecurities.

On the otherhand some poeple just like winding other people up ;)
 
Had a hearing test at work today and for my age (31) I was told I have very good hearing, being 50 on one ear and 55 on the other, the max allowance for my age is 82 and anything higher is considered as mildly deff, the guy that came out just after me walked over and asked (what did you score?) I replied 50/55, he said that's f#ck all! I got 120/140 I burst out loughing I said that's not a good thing.. It means ur deff! I've never seen him look so puzzled... Lol
 
Oh yes,I think we've all come across these.

Numpty: "I used to play flute back in Ireland."
Me: "Oh, did you?"
Numpty: "Yeah, I had a flute made of ivory."
Me: "Oh.. ok... Wanna show us what you can do then? Have a blast of my 311." (Ivory doesn't have the qualities for a flute btw ;) ) *hands a flute to him*
Numpty: "er, no... no... I don't want to break it"

I have a short temper for people like that TBH! Don't get me wrong, it's fine to "big yourself up" a bit, in certain circumstances. For example, I can honestly say that I'm a "qualified photographer who has a modelling and advertising background". Doesn't mean Jack though! Every word is true, I did some modelling when I was a child for a local branch of a clothes store - as did most people in my class at school, I worked in advertising for a newspaper for several years and I do have a qualification in photography, a HEFC... doesn't mean that I'm any good or that you've ever seen any of my advertisements or that you'd be able to find pictures of me modelling as a child though!
 
seashaker said:
ooh ooh and the latest one is he has invented a mechanism ( he says it is very simple and cant believe it hasnt been thought of before)that would stop airline tyres skidding on landing and would make each tyre last years longer than they do now thus saving the airline industry millions and millions each year and bring down all airfares.
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Hi Seashaker

There is a simple thing that the airports do to stop skidding - they cut grooves in the tarmac across the runway to add grip. Maybe he saw this somewhere and convinced himself he thought of it.

It is of course my idea.....
 
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My current manager always bigs himself up, so much so with all the big jobs he's had we worked it back and he would have started his working life when he was seven years old
 
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the person who got me started on this thread has just done this.

Status up date by me... just put my first loaf of soda bread in the oven fingers crossed.
Her... craving for Scottish bread ..........

if i poo gold i wonder what she will do.
 
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gumbo-67 said:
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the person who got me started on this thread has just done this.

Status up date by me... just put my first loaf of soda bread in the oven fingers crossed.
Her... craving for Scottish bread ..........

if i poo gold i wonder what she will do.
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Try it as a status update, go on, you know you want to.lol
 
gumbo-67 said:
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the person who got me started on this thread has just done this.

Status up date by me... just put my first loaf of soda bread in the oven fingers crossed.
Her... craving for Scottish bread ..........

if i poo gold i wonder what she will do.
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"I much prefer the look of silver jewellery to gold, don't you?" :lol:
 
gumbo-67 said:
silver over gold. do you not mean white gold (no such thing i may add) or platinum...:lol:
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"...of course this year we literally went mad for minerals - and gemstones to simply die for. They're just so gorgeous, aren't they darling?":puke:

:lol:
 
Or,

Omg the piece of coal I ate a couple of weeks ago has just come out as diamond, isn't the human body wonderful.
 
Many years back i worked as a green keeper and we had this new lad turn up who despite clearly not knowing a golf course from his elbow , had apparently played all the top courses, played a pro am round with tiger woods (umm yeah, okay, whatever you say) was 'trained in golf course design' (which explains why he was working as a seasonal greenkeeper :cuckoo: ) and apparently played off a two handicap (um yeah course you do)

Come the end of friday we sprung a little suprise on him - a nice greenkeepers four ball , if I recall corectly he went round in about 96 :lol: but that of course was because he didnt have his clubs , because his clubs were special (they were probably carved at the foot of ygdradsil by enchanted dwarves ) etc

Hence forth he was known to all and sundry as Billy Bull - and left after four months.
 
Guy I used to know from one of the internet boards would always regale everyone with tales of his work as a police officer and how he used to smash down doors on drugs raids.

All of this impressed the lassies no end, until it was pointed out that a) he was only just over 5 ft tall and so a bit short to be a polis and b) that a certain person (:whistling:) happened to know he was actually a secondhand car salesman.

From then on he was known as "laptop", on account of claiming to be a small pc :lol:
 
Flash In The Pan said:
From then on he was known as "laptop", on account of claiming to be a small pc :lol:
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:lol:

Well, thats my desk splattered with my drink!

Oh that really is a good one :D x5

People who always know one better.... Best game to play is to see how ridiculously over the top you can push them...

Like a game of 4 Yorkshire men,,, Aye lad we lived on a mouth full of cold gravel in a cardboard box in the middle of the road in the pouring rain and where whipped 32 hours a day with no sleep while paying the mill for the privilege..

Aye you where lucky! ;)
 
Not quite the same thing, but our neighbours 2 doors down are a complete nightmare.

Neighbours on the one side had a conservatory built, 2 months later they had one twice the size added on.
We bought a new car, 2 weeks later they went out and bought exactly the same model but with tinted windows added.
Our other neighbours changed their car, a few weeks later they went and changed their second car for the same model but a year newer.
We put a fish pond in - they put in a bigger pond with a huge fountain in the middle.

I've currently got a bet on with Darren - I'm trying to convince them that we're going to have a hot tub and pagoda put in at the bottom of the garden (we're not) to see if I can get them to go and buy one.
The weather isn't helping my cause at the moment though :lol: :lol: :lol:

p.s. if I win, I get to come up with a challenge for Darren to see what cr4p he can get them to buy . . . open to any ideas.
 
SarahLee said:
I've currently got a bet on with Darren - I'm trying to convince them that we're going to have a hot tub and pagoda put in at the bottom of the garden (we're not) to see if I can get them to go and buy one.
The weather isn't helping my cause at the moment though :lol: :lol: :lol:
.
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Totally of topic , but does this mean you and Cowasaki are an item ? (a 2 mod household, bet the jaffa cake bill is enormous )

leaving that aside the obvious answer with neighbours like this is to tell them all about the 2 week holiday you are planning to take in the carribean - they'll go and book a month long one, and you can relax at home for a stress free month without them
 
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