we all know one person like this.

gumbo-67

gumbo-67

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Terri
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You say "I've broken my arm"

they say "oh i broke mine in 10 places and can hardly use it"

You say "i am going to xxxxx on holiday"

They say " I am going via private jet to a private island all 10*"

you say " really proud of child getting said job."

they say " mine is being head hunted by a trillion firms"

These are just a few but no matter what always has to be better why? when it is all bull poo :bang:

sorry
 
gumbo-67 said:
You say "I've broken my arm"

they say "oh i broke mine in 10 places and can hardly use it"

You say "i am going to xxxxx on holiday"

They say " I am going via private jet to a private island all 10*"

you say " really proud of child getting said job."

they say " mine is being head hunted by a trillion firms"

These are just a few but no matter what always has to be better why? when it is all bull poo :bang:

sorry
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Yeah, if your cat's black, my cat's blacker!!
 
crofter said:
Yeh but not as black as mine :lol:
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Exactly!! I work with a girl, half my age, who's done 10 times more then me with her life!
 
Yep, if you've been on ferry, they've been shipwrecked twice. :D
 
the one that really got me...
me "hubby going back to the afghan"
her " well me and him are like ships that pass in the night! you have no idea how hard it is"
me "nope i have no idea at all"

Walked off
 
gumbo-67 said:
You say "I've broken my arm"

they say "oh i broke mine in 10 places and can hardly use it"

You say "i am going to xxxxx on holiday"

They say " I am going via private jet to a private island all 10*"

you say " really proud of child getting said job."

they say " mine is being head hunted by a trillion firms"

These are just a few but no matter what always has to be better why? when it is all bull poo :bang:

sorry
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I posted a better complaint than this last week :P
 
gumbo-67 said:
You say "I've broken my arm"

they say "oh i broke mine in 10 places and can hardly use it"

You say "i am going to xxxxx on holiday"

They say " I am going via private jet to a private island all 10*"

you say " really proud of child getting said job."

they say " mine is being head hunted by a trillion firms"

These are just a few but no matter what always has to be better why? when it is all bull poo :bang:

sorry
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I've come across lots of people like that in my time, but my favourite was the story my dad told me of a man he met whilst working, in his student days, as a labourer during the summer holidays.

Every Monday the man came back and boasted of having spent the weekend on a yacht or going to some exotic resort, but he finally excelled himself when my dad, who was working in a ditch, complained of the heat to the man who was standing on the surface.

"It's alright for you" came the reply" "but I'm nearer the sun, and it's much hotter up here"

:thinking: :suspect::runaway:
 
Flash In The Pan said:
I've come across lots of people like that in my time, but my favourite was the story my dad told me of a man he met whilst working, in his student days, as a labourer during the summer holidays.

Every Monday the man came back and boasted of having spent the weekend on a yacht or going to some exotic resort, but he finally excelled himself when my dad, who was working in a ditch, complained of the heat to the man who was standing on the surface.

"It's alright for you" came the reply" "but I'm nearer the sun, and it's much hotter up here"

:thinking: :suspect::runaway:
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:lol: that is good..very good
 
There's a lady where I used to work who's known as "Elevenerife", because if you've been to Tenerife...........
 
hmmm, i remember when as an 8 year old, approx 30 years ago, My Uncle decided to marry, and no I won't call her an Aunt, never will.... detest her....

anyhow she's been everywhere twice, got the t shirts and the trophies... you know how it is... I innocently asked... "Well, Lynne, as you've been everywhere and done everything, how come you have just 2 suitcases and nothing else...." .... cue embarrassing silence.... though 30 yrs on I stand by that comment....
 
My dad's bigger than your dad! :razz:
I can't stand people who insist on showing you their stuff and telling you how much it cost them. Like I really care?? :shrug:
 
so i was right we all do know someone like that! thank the lord i was just about to go mad!!
 
I was in a pub some years ago, where some loudmouth was showing off his new iphone. Eventually an old boy tired of his braying, turned to him and said in an equally loud voice, "You didn't invent it, you didn't make it, you just bought it. Anyone can do that so STFU"
 
Definitely

We know a guy that is like this and used to come over and jump into every conversation with a one upmanship comment so we had a plan. Next time he did it, we'd start talking about stomach cramps and period pains :D
 
kelack said:
Definitely

We know a guy that is like this and used to come over and jump into every conversation with a one upmanship comment so we had a plan. Next time he did it, we'd start talking about stomach cramps and period pains :D
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Uch, any man could trump that with a story about cutting themselves shaving. :naughty: :exit :
 
kelack said:
Definitely

We know a guy that is like this and used to come over and jump into every conversation with a one upmanship comment so we had a plan. Next time he did it, we'd start talking about stomach cramps and period pains :D
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You've never experiences pain in your ovaries like I have.
 
:lol:
 
I like the quote,"if I have an elephant, he has got a garage to put it in"!

I have a family member who is an expert on everything, whether it be wine, golf, cycling, cooking on a BBQ, being ill etc. these people are just as annoying imho.

Andy
 
Got an Aussie relative staying with my parents at the moment and she's driving us INSANE!!!

You can't just have a conversation, everything is a competition! She is so opinionated it's untrue and she has to tell you EVERYTHING in triplicate as I'm sure she thinks it makes what she's saying more credible!

One example was a few years back when she was over, one of my nieces had a bit of a temperature, think it was up to 101f-102f. The Aussie waded in with "Ah that's nothing...... when mine were little they'd regularly get a fever of at least 105f-106f"

Now I normally deal in Centigrades and my conversion wasn't working too well so I googled it afterwards and my suspicions were confirmed that this was just an example of one-up-manship as 104f is practically dead!

There are other examples but I really CBA to go into them, no I just nod and say "yeah, of course" :lol:
 
Always reminds me of the American on holiday in the UK.

While going through Blackpool.

Yank: Whats that yellow stuff fella?

Guide: Thats the beach.

Yank: Our kids have sandpits bigger than that.

Yank: Whats that fella?

Guide: That's the famous Blackpool Tower.

Yank: We have electricity pylons 10 times bigger than that back home.

Yank: Whats that on the sand fella?

Guide: Thats a donkey.

Yank: We have dogs bigger than that back home.

A little further on the American says "Whats that fella?"

Guide: Thats a hospital, and.......the American interrupted "We have hospitals 10 times bigger than that in the States"

Guide: Well you would do,......thats a Mental Hospital. :D
 
I worked with someone who was always boasting - he claimed he was a pilot in the RAF and flew Tornados but when I showed him some video I shot at an airshow he didn't recognise a Tornado... he asked if it was Concorde! He had a picture in his office of some aircrew standing by a jet which he claimed was taken when he was in the RAF... only problem was the plane was an American F15, which the RAF never flew and his face was badly photoshopped over the genuine aircrew.

But his RAF career was soon forgotten after a few pints, then he'd let the cat out of the bag and reveal all about his career in the SAS! We'd get all the tales of his "secret" missions and how, even after 15 years they keep asking him back because of his expertise.
 
gm43uk... how did you stop yourself from laughing?
sounds like someone i used to work with..
 
Keebsuk said:
Lol re the SAS as a guy I know claims he is ex special forces and recounts many a tale of daring do!

It turns out he was a driver in the Army!

Andy
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Sounds like 'Foggy', (Last of the Summer Wine) turned out he was a sign writer..:lol:
 
Keebsuk said:
I like the quote,"if I have an elephant, he has got a garage to put it in"!

I have a family member who is an expert on everything, whether it be wine, golf, cycling, cooking on a BBQ, being ill etc. these people are just as annoying imho.

Andy
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Definitely have to agree with that. There are quite a few people like that. And they're always right :lol:
 
gumbo-67 said:
gm43uk... how did you stop yourself from laughing?
sounds like someone i used to work with..
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It wasn't easy. Eventually it stopped being a joke when, despite the "ordinary" workers could see right through the rubbish he spouted, the managment fell for it and he ended up in charge of a department and caused absolute chaos before he was "invited" to retire - 7 out of 12 staff off sick with stress, departmental finances in a real mess, a small fortune spent purchasing stuff we didn't need which was never seen, taxi and hotel bills as a result of his nights out on the town and him blaming everyone else.

Last I heard he was in another job and still telling porkies.
 
oh not good..
hubby has one where he works a solider telling him all about the missons he has been on and what it is like being in the army (was telling hubby about this thread so he told me) coming out with some right bull poo they are giving him enough rope so to speak.
 
AAARRRGGGHHHHHHH got have in on this!!!! :lol: My mums new husband is EXACTLY like this!! absolutely everything in life he has done bigger or better.

One memorable moment was when my sister who is grade 8 piano (not played for a few years but still good) was asking about a piano he had just bought for new house in France, (we didnt even know he played). Anywho after finding out he got to grade 3 as a child he went on to say that although he didnt get any more grades, music talks to him and he can play pretty much anything he wants, infact thats why he was chosen to play in the Royal Navy band in Barbados for songs of praise many years ago.

Now when asked what they played/what instrument etc apparently it was such an overwhelming honour he has forgotten what songs they played and even what instrument he played


GRRRRRRRRRR........... and relax :D

ooh ooh and the latest one is he has invented a mechanism ( he says it is very simple and cant believe it hasnt been thought of before)that would stop airline tyres skidding on landing and would make each tyre last years longer than they do now thus saving the airline industry millions and millions each year and bring down all airfares.

Funnily enough he has not patented the idea as,' he doesnt trust people not to steal it' and wont go direct to an airline as 'he doesnt trust them to build it correctly' so its never going to see the light of day.

...... and relax again :D
 
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We had a bloke at work who would relate many stories. During the early 70's, he had the fastest motorbike and would beat anyone from The Ace Cafe to Southend. He also had a set of red leathers and was known as The Red Devil. His brother was a test pilot on Concorde as well as some RAF jet fighters. He had a bigger record collection than the BBC. Also he was a member of the SAS and would be the reason he was absent from work. He was absent at the time of the Libyan Embassy Siege in London. He was the first one in through the window.
 
:lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol: these are making me laugh so much and just goes to show i't not just me..:lol::D
 
nilagin said:
We had a bloke at work who would relate many stories. During the early 70's, he had the fastest motorbike and would beat anyone from The Ace Cafe to Southend. He also had a set of red leathers and was known as The Red Devil. His brother was a test pilot on Concorde as well as some RAF jet fighters. He had a bigger record collection than the BBC. Also he was a member of the SAS and would be the reason he was absent from work. He was absent at the time of the Libyan Embassy Siege in London. He was the first one in through the window.
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If I had £1 for every person who claimed to be "first through the window" I'd have several pounds by now...... :thumbs::thumbs::lol:

Reminds me we used to have a guy at work who (allegedly) had a *** for single engined prop planes. He was also (allegedly) in the RAF equivalent of the TA, and insisted that his license would allow him to fly Jags and Tornadoes... :cuckoo::cuckoo::cuckoo:
 
don't know why the abbreviation P P L got kicked out....
 
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