Verbal Slip of the Tongue

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stryvya

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Went to pets at Home yesterday and asked for " 2 Dogs of Bag Food Please" oops!!

Anyone else made made similar mistakes??
 
My late grandmother was prone to these all the time.

She remained convinced that Dormobiles were called Drombolies, but the best one was when she went into a homewares store and asked for a tin of Durex paint.
 
Sauron owns a Mordorbile...

Rarely make accidental slips but often use Spoonerisms on purpose.
 
stryvya said:
Went to pets at Home yesterday and asked for " 2 Dogs of Bag Food Please" oops!!

Anyone else made made similar mistakes??
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That is a Spoonerism.

Ronnie Barker sketch from the 1970's :-

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors,
emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was
knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards.
One was called Mary Hinge,
and the other was called Betty Swallocks;
they were really a forrible pair of huckers;
they both had fetty sweet and fetty swannies..
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball
but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go..
 
Ladles and jellyspoons
I come before you, to stand behind you
To tell you something
I know nothing about.
 
Best one I ever heard was by Sir Trevor McDonald.
He should have said ' Today in the Kent Countryside' but he got the Kent and 'Count' the wrong way round!
 
Cartus said:
John Inverdale's fairly recent reference to 'rose c_nted spectacles' springs to mind as well!
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Or the news reporter (can't remember who) who refered to "Jeremy C*nt the Hulture Secretary" and then tried to correct themselves and said the same thing again :ROFLMAO:
 
stryvya said:
Reminds me of a Jethro joke:

Anyone know it?
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He went to the Doctors last week with a problem

The Doctor asked him 'What the problem was?'

Jethro said he had a 'hereditary disease'

Doctor 'What is it Jethro????'

To which Jethro replied 'diarrhoea'

Doctor 'Thats not hereditary Jethro!!!'










Jethro 'It is! Its in my Jeans!' (Genes) hehehehe
 
stryvya said:
Went to pets at Home yesterday and asked for " 2 Dogs of Bag Food Please" oops!!

Anyone else made made similar mistakes??
Click to expand...


Had to sit through some "Anti-terrorist government training" yesterday. The speaker started off by saying it was "Anti-Government terrorist training". All the educators in the room cheered :) It went downhill from there... poor chap.
 
The wifes great aunt used to make reference to always fancying a dildo rail. What she obviously meant was a dado rail.....at least I hope thats what she meant :D
 
stupar said:
The wifes great aunt used to make reference to always fancying a dildo rail. What she obviously meant was a dado rail.....at least I hope thats what she meant :D
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My dear old Mum said that when we were talking about redecorating her lounge for her, I almost spat my coffee all over the carpet!
 
My mum asked for Monkeys in the Fog at the video shop once.
The fella behind the counter (and a couple of other customers) was incapacitated by laughter.
 
my boss sometime ago in a staff meeting

" Richard has the larger package so he'll need Sarah's help in handling it, Pete's package isn't much smaller but hes got more experience of handling it himself "

and on another occasion to me (while talking about a funding bid)

"I know you can handle yourself, but this time i think you'll really need Caroline's help to pull it off"
 
Lots of juvenile giggling at work with this one.

We used to get weekly IT tips coming through to us - usually something really mundane like reminding us to empty our desktop recycle bin.
One week though everyone was innocently working away, when the "tip of the week" message flashed up at the bottom of all of our screens :

"Make it long and hard, and keep it to yourself"

(I don't know what you lot are thinking, but clearly it was a security reminder about systems passwords :whistling: )
 
We have to keep daily logs for our engine dynos. One day my mate noticed a small crack between two blanks in the cylinder head on his engine and a small amount of oil seeping out. He informed the head engineer who turned up to investigate. Part of my mates entry in his log that day was, "engineer in cell, measuring and taking photos of my crack" needless to say this caused some humour next morning in the engineers daily meeting. More recently the plumbers were called in to fix a problem with the auxiliary cooling system, my mate wrote, "Plumbers in Cell attending to my sticky shaft". Just about everyone found it funny again except one head engineer, who is very straight laced and no sense of humour at all.
 
we also had a our (very attractive, female) species recovery officer in a meeting come out with

"so has anyone seen any beaver recently" she then continued as a roomfull of blokes bit their lips and tried not to look at each other "if not we should go out one night so you can take a look"
 
A female colleague was discussing her weekend, apparently she met some friends for “coffee and cock…oh er cake…yes cake.” Aye right.
My sister in laws mum asked her hairdresser for a “blow job” and told someone else that she’d been “feeling under the doctor all week.”
My dad was talking about cooking and would go on about some mysterious ingredient called “Paste Puffrey”.
 
One that sticks in my mind was one Christmas buying wrapping paper and the assistant asked if I wanted it folded or rolled. My answer..............rolded!!!o_O
 
DavieW said:
One that sticks in my mind was one Christmas buying wrapping paper and the assistant asked if I wanted it folded or rolled. My answer..............rolded!!!o_O
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Fold it in half then roll it. Works for me :thumbs:
:D
 
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