Un-intended euphamisms?

Did he also suggest she "Ride the tube"?

Fnar fnar.
 
Graham W said:
Someone was asking for suggestions when planning a trip to London with his girlfriend, he was asked if he had considered "Taking her up the Oxo Tower". Much hilarity ensued.
Click to expand...
There's a hilarious set of reviews on OpenTable about "taking the girlfriend up the Oxo Tower". Well worth a read if they haven't taken them down.
 
I mentioned a while ago my boss holding forth (about grant funding) in a staff meeting " Richard has the larger package so he'll definitely need Sarah's help in handling it , Pete's package isn't much smaller but hes handled it himself before and if necessary he can rely on Caroline to help him pull it off "

by this point we were all biting our knuckles and avoiding looking at each other to avoid dissolving into fits of giggles

there was also the time that the (female) species recovery officer asked a room full of rangers

"has anyone seen any beaver yet ? " then continued "If not we should go out one evening so you can take a look"
 
big soft moose said:
I mentioned a while ago my boss holding forth (about grant funding) in a staff meeting " Richard has the larger package so he'll definitely need Sarah's help in handling it , Pete's package isn't much smaller but hes handled it himself before and if necessary he can rely on Caroline to help him pull it off "

by this point we were all biting our knuckles and avoiding looking at each other to avoid dissolving into fits of giggles

there was also the time that the (female) species recovery officer asked a room full of rangers

"has anyone seen any beaver yet ? " then continued "If not we should go out one evening so you can take a look"
Click to expand...

That's a new Carry On film in the making, surely.
There's no way my colleagues and I could have held it together for that.
 
Years ago a colleague was explaining the team structure to a visitor, he said "and we all come under the helmet of Ian"



I think he meant umbrella but that thought has stuck in my mind for over 20 years, please pass the brain-bleach :eek:
 
:lol:

there was also the time that I told our fundraising manager caroline "I'd like to have you all to myself" I meant because she's so good at raising money for the team , but i realised how dodgy it sounded about a microsecond after the words left my mouth
 
Out with friends a while back and we were talking about running and marathons and the like. One of the ladies mentioned that her friend had beat off all the guys to come first.

Much snorting followed.
 
Im sure ive told this story before, but I have quite a few colleagues that always ask after my Daughter whenever I bump into them in the office. On this one occasion I was standing at a urinal (as you do) when one of these colleagues walked in and stood next to me. We both did the 'Alright?' type nod, then he asked me "How is the little one?"...assuming he was asking about my daughter, I replied "Great thanks, but not so little anymore".

I really hope he was asking about my Daughter :D
 
Last edited:
a while ago when i started a new job my then boss explaining my responsibilities told me "roxanne will come under you on a thursday..... if you need her more often than that we'll have to toss for it "
 
Nikon_Nick said:
Im sure ive told this story before, but I have quite a few colleagues that always ask after my Daughter whenever I bump into them in the office. On this one occasion I was standing at a urinal (as you do) when one of these colleagues walked in and stood next to me. We both did the 'Alright?' type nod, then he asked me "How is the little one?"...assuming he was asking about my daughter, I replied "Great thanks, but not so little anymore".

I really hope he was asking about my Daughter :D
Click to expand...

The usual euphemism is "shaking hands with the unemployed" for that situation..... :(
 
My Name is William

My teachers called me Will and one called my Willy...fair enough. We had a lad called Magee first name Ste but everyone called him Maggy - he was a good lad and I worked well with him in 5th year, as we went into the lab, earlier I had been passed a message by Maggy the teacher wanted me to do something before class, I had done it - class prep - nothing major The teacher asked as I walked by, " Has Maggie seen you Willy" I did a double take and the teacher went bright red and all the calss was in stiches...stuck with me for 35 years has that.
 
I was at a wedding earlier and the bride vouchsafed to me that she "hardly got any sleep last night because [she] was so hot in the bedroom" I resisted the urge to point out she was supposed to save that for her wedding night...
 
Last edited:
I had a mate at school called Richard Head, his parents didn't think that one out.
 
Only yesterday on tv (can't for the life of me remember what) a woman described a a photograph which was on screen of a lady dressed in a fur coat with her hands tucked in a matching muff. Her words "Yes this lady with a very large muff" I think she realised what she'd said and tried to back track but only made it worse?
 
My colleague once took a call from our boss, an avid cat lover, who was at home and informed him at the start of the call that she was stroking her pussy :eek:
 
Un-intended euphamisms?
What are they, never made one as long as I can remember ;)
 
wontolla said:
I had a mate at school called Richard Head, his parents didn't think that one out.
Click to expand...
One of my clients is called Wayne King.
 
Years ago, I used to deliver fuel oil, one customer was the local brothel, it was a horrible job, ( :D ) once delivered, I'd knock on the back door and ask for a signature,
usually a young lady would answer, dressed very scantily indeed, I'd hand her the delivery ticket, and she'd ask, where do you want it?

I usually resisted, "you're the professional, you chose"



But not always :D
 
Edited on the grounds of good taste!!!
 
;)
 
My usual course days are Tuesday and Thursday so I have to be careful when telling my partners that I'll see them next time since "See you next Tuesday (or Thursday)" can be a euphemism...
 
I've got to get Mrs Saunders to Oldham, then I'm going to Bangor as fast as I can.

finbarr saunders viz.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top