This idiot needs locking up.

He won't get a custodial sentence though.
 
What a prat! Hope he gets punished.
 
He won't get a custodial sentence though.
I know, can I give him a kicking then? I'm sure the poor girls parents would like to cause him some physical harm too. It will probably be the only thing he'd understand by way of punishment anyway.
 
hmmm what an end of a bell! Totally irresponsible - hopefully he will get the harshest penalty available - personally I'd revoke his license for 10 yrs however a pr1ck like that would only drive with no license, no ins etc...
 
I know, can I give him a kicking then? I'm sure the poor girls parents would like to cause him some physical harm too. It will probably be the only thing he'd understand by way of punishment anyway.

Go ahead...tell him we said so!!
 
He might very well! Neil Horan got 2 months and that was without being charged with false imprisonment

Because she'll say she was just kidding and he'll plead down.
 
what a tosser ,death waiting to happen .
 
lol I think it's funny. No harm done and I love the commentator "Why is there a volkswagen golf on the track?"

it's the equivalent of a streaker at footy matches. good fun
 
lol I think it's funny. No harm done and I love the commentator "Why is there a volkswagen golf on the track?"

it's the equivalent of a streaker at footy matches. good fun

No, it isn't. It's incredibly dangerous, for the idiot and for the competitors (and consequently for the volunteers standing around the side of the track who might have to rush out to pick up the pieces). You have cars prepared for the track driving at competitive speeds entering corners with possibly blind exits expecting the track to be clear in front of them. If random idiot in his girlfriend's polo decides that the outside of the exit of Paddock Hill bend is a good place to be and a significantly lower speed than the competing cars, he's going to get collected. Yes, the marshalls can show the white flag (slow moving vehicle) which normally means a competitor limping back to the pits if the race is live, in which case they be staying off the racing line as much as possible. With a random, who knows what they will do. At the limit of adhesion sudden unplanned direction changes aren't possible.

Fortunately it appears the race was red flagged very quickly and the competitors informed by radio from race control to back off and return to the pits as soon as possible. The result would have been affected as the full distance wasn't run, competitors won't have got all the racing the paid for and are rightly aggrieved - I haven't read any that are upset with the organisers, as everyone involved in motorsport understands that you have to trust people not to be idiots or you will regulate the sport out of existence. They are all upset with the idiot.

I hope he gets a dangerous driving conviction for his trouble - the law applies to public places as well as roads and while motorsport events get exemptions for signed on competitors, random idiots don't qualify. It seems he's been arrested for false imprisonment. It would be good if Jonathan Palmer threw his weight (and money) behind a civil action as well.

I sometimes wear orange, I sometimes wear an (MSA approved) crash helmet, I'm sometimes clerk of the course and I sometimes sit in race control (not at race meetings but other circuit based motorsport), so safety at motorsport meetings is something I think about quite a bit.
 
well thankfully none of that happened so what we are left with is an amusing video and some great commentary
 
Like Mark, I've competed. Unlike Mark, I've never been a C of C, though I may have visited one or two ;)

It's a weird, almost unique happening in my 40 odd years of motor racing experience and young Mr Cottle certainly deserves a serious slapping - if only pour encourager les autres - but in part, I'm wryly amused and it was far less dangerous that this chav drove his Polo into the race than either a pedestrian or an animal getting onto the track. You can see a car and it will roughly follow the line of the track so that if you come out of Paddock and see a white car trundling up the hill in front of you, you'd assume it was an ambulance or course car. Unusual but not unprecidented.

Equally I don't doubt the marshal's posts were going wild with yellow flags from the off, even before the C of C threw the red!

I'm not defending Mr Cottle but for what it's worth, it's far from the most dangerous incursion onto a circuit I've ever seen. The most dangerous thing would have been as he left the pit lane, which at Brands is blind [the joining car appears fom behind the pit wall] and is on the racing line. Mr Cottle probably didn''t appreciate that. He also bumbled across the track between the apices of Druids and "Bottom" Bend. Dangerous, but on Thursday night I saw Lucas di Grassi do exactly the same thing in a damaged works Audi during LeMans qualifying and he took out another competitor while he did it! For some reason the works Audi driver wasn't sanctioned by the ACO as he should have been; but the 18 year old who went off the road avoiding him was - quite unfairly!

Fortuitously for Mr Cottle, as it turns out, it was late in a VW FunCup race; the cars were spread out and they're not very quick racing cars anyway. If you want really dangerous, blame the paedophile BBC!! [Of course!] in 1975 they promoted the Radio 1 fun day at Mallory Park. Motor racing and pop stars! When the Bay City Rollers arrived in the middle of the circuit, hoards, dozens of besotted teeny boppers jumped the barriers and ran across the track to get to their idols immediately! Which was apparently much, much more than enough excitement for the FF2000 [wings and slicks single seater] drivers who were racing at serious speed and seriously competitively at the time!! That stood to be a really nasty bloodbath!

What's upsetting is that there will be more unfair H&S clampdown on motor racing "to prevent anyone else ever getting near the track". All my life, we'd chuck tyres and tools into a road car to get them to the back of the pitlane or trot backwards and forwards through the Brands tunnels doing business during race meetings. Worse, I feel sympathy more immediately for the FunCup competitiors who presumably had their hour's very expensive sport curtailed early by Mr Cottle's stupidity for which they don't get a refund!
 
lol I think it's funny. No harm done and I love the commentator "Why is there a volkswagen golf on the track?"

it's the equivalent of a streaker at footy matches. good fun

Streakers aren't one ton chunks of metal travelling at 100mph

You're just as foolish as the driver if you think a stunt like this is funny.
 
I'm racing at Brands on Friday. If he shows up, I'll be sure to give him a warm welcome ;)
 
Streakers aren't one ton chunks of metal travelling at 100mph

You're just as foolish as the driver if you think a stunt like this is funny.

nobody got hurt - so it's funny.

If someone had been injured or damaged it wouldn't have been funny. It's no different to You've been framed. Week in week out people do stupid dangerous stuff thats funny - they don;t show the times when people die because it's not funny
 
He has now set-up a facebook fan page, and is basking in his glory, proud of what he has achieved: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Full-Throttle-Cottle/778817328825698

My main concerns are that someone else will try to do the same, and be less fortunate, and the costs for competitors (and spectators) will have to rise to cover the costs of all the extra security they will now have to put in place.
 
What's upsetting is that there will be more unfair H&S clampdown on motor racing "to prevent anyone else ever getting near the track". All my life, we'd chuck tyres and tools into a road car to get them to the back of the pitlane or trot backwards and forwards through the Brands tunnels doing business during race meetings. Worse, I feel sympathy more immediately for the FunCup competitiors who presumably had their hour's very expensive sport curtailed early by Mr Cottle's stupidity for which they don't get a refund!

That's my fear as well, regulating the sport out of existence. To be fair to them, the MSA are aware that aside from the technical (scrutes, timekeepers) and medical people, everyone else working at motorsport events is giving up their entire Sunday (or weekend) for zero recompense - we give our marshalls a voucher which can be exchanged for lunch at the circuit tavern / burger van, but at race meetings they often don't even get that. So the manpower requirements aren't set at ridiculous levels and it accepted that some things have to run on trust - such as the trust that no-one that isn't a competitor or official that's supposed to be there will be idiotic enough to drive / walk out onto a live circuit. We have people at the start line and in the paddock / pit lane of our events checking vehicles coming out are arriving at the right time / right order, but if someone was determined to drive out then they couldn't be physically stopped. I won't even start on spectators and forest rallying ...

And yes, there are some very narked FunCup competitors out there. I have read talk of banding together to pursue the miscreant for damages, whether anything will come of it, who knows.

You mentioned Le Mans, when I was there to spectate about six years ago (must go back) it was possible to walk through the car park at the back of the pit garages and if one so desired go all the way down to the rear entrances of the garages and see through them to the pit lane. There was no physical barrier or security personnel there to prevent people walking through the garages onto the live pit lane. We only discovered his by accident when trying to find a short cut to walk back to the camp site. Our (normal spectator general admission) passes had been scanned at the gate leading into the car park (we didn't realise it was for the pits) but we weren't denied access. Even at one of the biggest motor races in the world ...
 
A comment from the man himself via his Facebook fan page:

i just wanna say a massive massive massive thank you to all the suppoirt from everyone i know what i done was naughtyt not gonna lie it was dangerous but only in the wrong hands i know how to drive a car an wouldnt be stupid enough to smash it into the side of a pack of beetles plus i stayed to the right hand side letting faster cars go past my left, all you haters are literally comical your all textbook nerds! none of you have even seen or felt a vagina and your all do as your told's an in my eyes that makes you a shrivvled testice, i live everyday like its my last an i wouldnt change a thing iv ever done, do you know why??? cause all you haters are proper nonces who wish tghey had colonies like mine!!! i done something what no ones ever done before it was stupid not gonna lie but moan to brands hatch instead cause they failed the security breech haaa if it was really that dangerous how come no one battered an eyelid when i drove on

:facepalm:
 
so is he right? the folk in this thread who are berating him - have you guys ever seen or felt a vagina? :-)
 
so is he right? the folk in this thread who are berating him - have you guys ever seen or felt a vagina? :)

And do you all have colonies like his?

What a plank :lol:
 
Well I hope his girlfriend tells him to keep his 'colonies' to himself for a while :D
 
Funny implies something humorous. There was nothing humorous about what that guy did. If you think there was then you are as stupid as he is.

Everyone has different senses of humour though don't they? :-)
 
Can't really say it's funny because no one got hurt though.

Complete divs take chances on level crossings every day and get awau with it. Doesn't make that sort of general bellendary remotely amusing imo.
 
Can't really say it's funny because no one got hurt though.

Complete divs take chances on level crossings every day and get awau with it. Doesn't make that sort of general bellendary remotely amusing imo.

Nobody getting hurt isnt what makes it funny. It's funny because it looks funny. The video and the way the commentator responds makes it a funny thing that occurred.

If someone got hurt it wouldn't be funny but because nobody did it let's it stay funny. Just like you've been framed videos. If someone died falling through a roof it wouldn't be funny would it. But the actual falling with nobody hurting themselves badly results in canned laughter
 
Last edited:
I wonder if he's still got a girlfriend :rolleyes:

I'd really like to hear her comments :angelic:
 
See where you are coming from CJ but it's not funny, as well as the risks what about the poor guys who paid a lot of money to race and had it cut short because of this moron
 
Yes, they're Beetles - but they're not.

VW Fun Cup cars may look like Beetles due to the fibreglass body, but in reality they're a tubular monocoque, some with sequential gearboxes. Pole time was 56.2 seconds, at an average speed of 77.3mph which was 2 seconds faster than BTCC and British GT pro driver Tom Onslow-Cole could manage in a VW Golf GTI on the same day. On the same race was a race for TVRs and the pole sitter would have qualified 11th out of 17 in that race.

So, yes they're fairly slow compared to a BTCC or an F3 Car, but they're not that slow!

Problem is that during a normal race weekend, the tunnel from the outer paddock to the inner paddock is manned at either end, because there is often the need to send a taller recovery vehicle down the in tunnel rather than the out tunnel due to low headroom in the out tunnel, and a man at both ends with walkie talkies can co-ordinate things. During a 4 hour endurance race these guys may not be needed so were able to take a break. Why didn't the marshals stop them - well marshals may have a flag, and they may have a whistle, but neither of those is going to do much good if someones driving at you at 30mph who doesn't want to be stopped.

It will have an impact on club racing, but too soon to know exactly what, but I expect you to need a windscreen pass to get through the tunnel next time.
 
Nobody getting hurt isnt what makes it funny. It's funny because it looks funny. The video and the way the commentator responds makes it a funny thing that occurred.

If someone got hurt it wouldn't be funny but because nobody did it let's it stay funny. Just like you've been framed videos. If someone died falling through a roof it wouldn't be funny would it. But the actual falling with nobody hurting themselves badly results in canned laughter

See....I don't find those kind of ybf clips amusing either. Oh well.
 
nobody got hurt - so it's funny.

If someone had been injured or damaged it wouldn't have been funny.

And yes, there are some very narked FunCup competitors out there. I have read talk of banding together to pursue the miscreant for damages, whether anything will come of it, who knows.

Perhaps you don't know, gunslinger, that "The Decking" has always been a major part of motor racing. Paddock punch-ups can be the most memorable bit of a day's adrenaline fuelled fun!

I know that full-throttle Cottle returned to the collecting area to be met by some of those narked FunCup competitors and it's a sad reflection on this safety concious age that they were all too polite to teach him the error of his ways! Once upon a time I would have joined into weighing into him and I certainly used to know at least one very large and strong #1 mechanic who would have fed him a trolley jack and a torque wrench straight off if his car's race had been spoiled! And I'm not exagerating ...

so is he right? the folk in this thread who are berating him - have you guys ever seen or felt a vagina? :)

... you see, gunslinger, when I first played with both, it was sex that was safe and motor racing that was dangerous!


You mentioned Le Mans ...

Apart from all else, apparently Brands was running with short staff last weekend because lots of the orange-suited motor-racing zombles were over at the Sathe. As for any carp about lax security, it's always been possible to walk onto a race track if you really wanted to. Incredibly stupid but possible. Not so stupidly, I used to walk into Silverstone F1 Grands Prix without any tickets just by knowing which alleyway to arrive from and looking like I owned the place. It was only the electronic F1 paddock turnstiles that put a stop to that!

However you haven't "got lost" when you drive from the Scratchers Lane entrance, through the paddock gate, past the offices to the outside collecting area, through the car tunnel, through the centre paddock and [as the video shows] know that the pitlane entrance is at the very far end. It was perfectly fair that 3 1/2 hours into a 4 hour race [IIRC] everyone properly involved was busy dealing with other things!
 
Last edited:
See....I don't find those kind of ybf clips amusing either. Oh well.

But that's because everyone finds humour in different things. There is no right or wrong when it comes to something being funny. There are just different tastes.
 
But that's because everyone finds humour in different things. There is no right or wrong when it comes to something being funny. There are just different tastes.

I can run with that :-)
 
Apart from all else, apparently Brands was running with short staff last weekend because lots of the orange-suited motor-racing zombles were over at the Sathe. As for any carp about lax security, it's always been possible to walk onto a race track if you really wanted to. Incredibly stupid but possible. Not so stupidly, I used to walk into Silverstone F1 Grands Prix without any tickets just by knowing which alleyway to arrive from and looking like I owned the place. It was only the electronic F1 paddock turnstiles that put a stop to that!

I was at Thruxton with the trucks and there were a lot of marshals out for that - there was also BSB at Snetterton and other meetings at Cadwell Park, Oulton Park and Castle Combe...
 
In doubt there's much chance of false imprisonment sticking. I can think of a defence to that immediately.
In fact its difficult to see any criminal offence sticking with that one, aggravated trespass is about it, and thats pushing it.
 
In doubt there's much chance of false imprisonment sticking. I can think of a defence to that immediately.
In fact its difficult to see any criminal offence sticking with that one, aggravated trespass is about it, and thats pushing it.

Aggravated tresspas won't stick either given the venue. Civil yes...criminal no.
 
Back
Top