The things kids say

wack61

wack61

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We have a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, when i'm not working I walk her up to school to collect my 8 year old daughter.

I was waiting outside the gates when 2 girls of about 6 asked me if they could hold her lead, I said no as there are other kids about that don't like dogs

The smaller one said, is she strong then, she won't pull me over I know Karate :lol:
 
The Good Lady Wie was reversing the car in a car park when a woman wlked out in front of the car without looking. She slammed on, and called the woman a stupid cow.
"what has it not got it's farmer with it?" pipes up the three year old, who now tels people "Mummy nearly drove into a cow" and believes that black and white cows roam free on car parks.....:)
 
My son (14 at the time) was asked by the teacher what a fossil was....

He got as far as "It's an orgasm that died...." before the class exploded :lol:



He still goes red if you mention fossils ;)
 
I was at school in the 70s, we had a lesson about the troubles in Northern Ireland.

The teacher asked if anyone knew what they were about, one girl stuck her hand up and said the Catholics and the Prostitutes didn't like each other.

30 kids and 1 teacher burst out laughing
 
I was in a queue at the post office of about 12 people once. I had my 3 year old with me. it was one of the 'S' queues so you can imagine my embarasment when my son says aloud.........

"DADDY THAT MANS GOT A REALLY FAT BELLY"

The bloke was stood about 1 ft away from us....
 
Whilst watching emeerdale the other night - (marlon & donna were having a bit of Adult liasons) in the back of a van-

My 8 yr old pipes up "what they doin mum??" ( oh carp cue the Birds n bee's talk Came to mind) So i just said they having a bit of Rumpy Pumpy--

He says- What goin to the Toilet?????

I roared for ages - And no I didnt tell him the truth either ...
 
Also on Emmerdale, a Christmas special from a few years ago with a fire up at 't'big `ouse. My niece asked why Kim Tate (looking tousled and sooty) had chocolate spread all over her face. The antics that character got up to, I'm sure it was spread elsewhere, too.
 
About 25/26 years ago I was a young policeman in Walthamstow, East london. I was inside the Sainsbury's about half way down the High Street talking to the store manager about something (I can't remember what), there was a mum with a young kid coming through the checkout and the kid get grabbing sweets which were strategically placed by the till. The conversation went like this:

Kid: "I want sweets"
Mum: "Your'e not having them, put them back"

...this went back and for a few times until...

Mum: "If you don't put them back I'm going to smack your bottom"
Kid (in a very loud voice): "Then I'll tell everybody how I saw you kissing daddy's willy last night!"

You could have heard a pin drop. Within a couple of seconds both the manager and I had almost collapsed laughing as had almost everybody else within earshot. :D
 
LOL Wonder if the kid got the sweets :D

We were at swimming the other day, and I was getting me and my 4yr old son changed, and just as we were about to put our clothes in the locker, he said "Dad I don't need my armpits...I can swim without them" (Yes, he meant armbands).
 
My Nan loves telling everyone this story......

When I was a toddler, my Nan used to look after me while my Mum was at work with a stipulation that I was not allowed sweets, crisps or chocolate. Well, my Nan being the doting grandparent she was (and at the time, my cousins hadn't come along so I was the only grandchild) chose to ignore this and bought me some Maltesers.

Well, the story goes that one day my Mum was pushing me in my pushchair past a newsagents when I pointed at the window and shouted "TEESERS NAN NAN TEESERS".

:lol::lol::lol:

Dropped right in it :D
 
When my son was very young and had a headache he always used to complain that his hair was hurting.

Andy
 
Andysnap said:
When my son was very young and had a headache he always used to complain that his hair was hurting.

Andy
Click to expand...

My friends sister (even at the age of 18) 100% believed that a headache was caused by Brain Cramp :cuckoo:
 
An oft repeated tale from my kids younger days. The eldest, now 17, was about 2, maybe just 3. We had stopped at a motorway service station as you do, and of course she wanted to go to the toilet. Weary of the constant visits, I told her father it was his turn. Off he went to the gents, returning several minutes later, red in the face from supressed laugher. Obviously he had taken her to one of the cubicles, but she had insisted she didnt want the door closing, so he had stood with his back to the open door whilst she went to the loo. Now this was of course the gents, so there were urinals on the wall opposite and a few gentlemen using them. All was well until from behind him, came the very loud clear voice of is beloved daughter " Daddy, WHY are those men weeing in the sinks?" Apparently, more than the usual quantity of male mis-alignment of the aim was in evidence as 6 full grown fellas quite literally wet themeselves laughing in mid flow! :lol:










MInd you, this is not as bad as my dear old nan on holiday in Great Yarmouth when I was about 8 yrs old. We were at the outdoor swiming pool on the seafront and she went off to the toilet. On her return we were all relaxing, in deck chairs or lying on towels, even my 5 yr old sister. The peace was shattered by her loud opinions that 'the toilets are way too high, how are you meant to get your bum on them?" :bonk: :coat: No prizes for guessing where she had gone. :cuckoo:
 
I was at work explaining to a 6yr old what would happen when he has his appendix removed later that day. After explaining i asked if he had any questions at which point he asked how big the hole in his tummy would be when he woke up. I did explain that they mended the hole but he didn't look convinced.
 
Years ago my mate took his young son swimming. After recently having the misfortune of catching himself in his flies, his son was abit apprehensive about undoing his jeans so, Dad dutifully carefully helped with the zip. As he did so, in a wimpering voice his son kept saying "Please don't hurt me Daddy, please don't hurt me". Needless to say he got some very strange and conderned looks on exiting their cubicle.
 
Ever since they could talk, we have been teaching our girls about manners and saying please and thank you.

One day, when the eldest was about three, she said, "can I have a drink?"

and as mothers do, my wife said, "what is the magic word?"

to which my daughter replied

"Abracadabra"
 
Ben Hur said:
Ever since they could talk, we have been teaching our girls about manners and saying please and thank you.

One day, when the eldest was about three, she said, "can I have a drink?"

and as mothers do, my wife said, "what is the magic word?"

to which my daughter replied

"Abracadabra"
Click to expand...

Oh that is fantastic :D :D :D
 
Ben Hur said:
Ever since they could talk, we have been teaching our girls about manners and saying please and thank you.

One day, when the eldest was about three, she said, "can I have a drink?"

and as mothers do, my wife said, "what is the magic word?"

to which my daughter replied

"Abracadabra"
Click to expand...

I still say that. :lol:
 
When my best friends wife was pregnant her nephew of around 3 or 4 asked who the baby would look like, so she explained that the baby would look a little bit like her and a little bit like her husband...... (at this point I should explain that my mate is Black and his wife white) .... his response was "what like a cow"
 
lee said:
When my best friends wife was pregnant her nephew of around 3 or 4 asked who the baby would look like, so she explained that the baby would look a little bit like her and a little bit like her husband...... (at this point I should explain that my mate is Black and his wife white) .... his response was "what like a cow"
Click to expand...

Fantastic! :D
 
lee said:
When my best friends wife was pregnant her nephew of around 3 or 4 asked who the baby would look like, so she explained that the baby would look a little bit like her and a little bit like her husband...... (at this point I should explain that my mate is Black and his wife white) .... his response was "what like a cow"
Click to expand...

:lol: brilliant
 
My two year old nephew likes to call everyone a Mug.
When his Dad tells him off it isn't nice he says "Sorry Mug".
 
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