kapawayna
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The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of
the human genome by honoring those who
accidentally remove themselves from it...
the human genome by honoring those who
accidentally remove themselves from it...
A couple of exaples:
(27 June 2009, Pennsylvania) A severe storm damaged power lines and left 17,000 homes without electricity. Mieczyskaw Mil, 64, was one of the affected parties. His power line serviced only 17 homes and therefore was one of the last to be repaired. Seven hours after the line fell, Mieczyskaw Mil finally lost his patience.
The old man had been shooed away repeatedly by firefighters who were guarding the power line. "Police and firefighters literally chased him away. We did everything we could," said **** Martinkovic, commissioner of public safety in Sullivan County. But they were not prepared for the homeowner's sudden bold move.
Frustrated with waiting, Mil emerged from his home shortly after midnight with an industrial circular saw in his hand and plastic bags on his feet. He stood in a puddle of water and attempted to saw through a 4800-volt feeder line that was dangling off the pole. He fell and became tangled in the hissing and buzzing live wire. While emergency responders waited for utility workers to shut down the power, Mil was busy being killed by continuous electrocution.
The story says it all. He was repeatedly shooed away from the power line, but insisted on cutting it while standing in a puddle, and now is safely out of the gene pool. Thanks for doing our species a favor, Mil!
Faulty Aim Fatal
2002 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin
(7 March 2002, Colorado) When Gerald was pulled over by police for erratic driving, he decided it was better to flee from the stolen car on foot, rather than face possible jail time for a parole violation. This was the first of two successive mental lapses. Gerald's actual thoughts are unknown, but *may* have been something like this: "The officers are only suspicious and alert now... I'll make them hot, sweaty, tired, and angry by leading them on a wild chase through dark alleys and fields."
During the subsequent foot chase, Gerald attempted to dissuade officers from the pursuit by firing a 9mm Ruger semiautomatic handgun blindly over his shoulder. This was the second illustration of a potential mental deficiency. "Officers are running behind me. They have guns. I have a gun! They have eyes in the front of their heads, so they can see to aim at me. I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so I'll fire wildly behind me and see what happens!"
Unfortunately, Gerald appears to have been one of those folks who can't chew gum and walk at the same time. Or at least he couldn't flee and fire at the same time. While discharging the weapon over his shoulder, Gerald managed to shoot himself in the head with his own gun, bringing the chase to a sudden conclusion.
Four shots were fired, none by the officers, who found Gerald's pistol next to his fallen body. Gerald was transported to a local hospital where he expired the following day, thus removing a set of genes deficient in both judgment and coordination from the gene pool.
They get me every time, 
