The best thing to keep vampires out....? Advice required.

Diego Garcia

Diego Garcia

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hi,

I am moving to a new house soon, and I am now looking at alternative window dressing.

However, Vampires, and of course Count Dracula are of grave concern to me. As such, which would be better for my windows? Curtains and a net or blinds?

Blinds sound stylish but I think that that could see through the odd gap and I could fall prey to their blood sucking techniques.

I feel good at the moment and would not want to roam the earth as the undead. I have encountered vampires before, when I was part of a ghost hunting team called the Chain Gang as well as the mystery boys - but thats another story and one I try to forget. Let me tell you, they are not nice and Nosferatu in particular is one nasty mofo who I do not want coming through my window due to a peep in the curtains.

What's a person to do?

Yours (worried).
 
I think curtains go better with carpeted rooms. Blinds with hard wood or laminated floors.

I'd give the net curtains a miss, they angry up the blood of the undead.
 
Blinds or net curtains can be useful on ground floor windows or others that are in direct view from elsewhere.

p.s. the undead can only come in if you invite them, so don't!
 
a vampire can't enter a house without being invited in. So it doesn't matter what's on the windows as long as you never open the doors :D

Get a nice roller blind, quick and easy to use and they leave almost the entire window space available when rolled away.
a plain light coloured one makes a great diffuser too :D
 
I'd suggest taping black bin-bags to your windows frames, making sure that no cracks of light are getting through at all. It's not a bad idea to paint white crosses on the outside first. Also regularly wash your doorstep. Best to let your new neighbors know you mean business right from the off.
 
garlic works a treat
also a silver cross; inverted, I think, for maximum effect

hmm perhaps garlic on a silver cross
oh and the sun of course

I wonder if a UV lamp would have the same effect at night :thinking:
 
Of course the cross is absolutely useless against a jewish or muslim vampyre so you should first ascertain the religeous preferences of your local erm flock?
 
Definitely Blinds, manys the time I've woken up to find one of those pesky Vampires tangled up in my venetian blinds...get heavy wood slats, nightmare to try and climb through, lift up, etc.

(on a slightly more serious note I happen to know that opportunist house burglars shy away from houses with blinds for the very reason mentioned above!!)
 
gravel on the drive is also a good plan
can't walk across it without making a racket!
 
Has to be a blind Pete.
You can pull it all the way down for comlpete cover against the prying eyes of the vamps at night, and during the day you can fly it half mast to keep out the sun.
Curtains half drawn however, just look damn lazy ... and fully drawn during the day just may bring the Vampire slayers to your door thinking that you are indeed sleeping the day away and as such are one of the undead yourself!:eek:

Dont go for net, net belongs on the bottom of girlie petticoats and the heaving bosoms of man-eating vamps :naughty:
 
did someone say bosoms :D
 
Replace all your windows with mirrors, that way if they cant see themselves coming, then they might not, and wont :bonk:
 
F-Stop said:
Put a "Blood Bank" sign on your neighbors house. Works for me, but they never let me borrow a cup of sugar for some reason...
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They'll be like me and use sweetners.
 
I say let them in and become immortal :lol:
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a vampire can't enter a house without being invited in.
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That movie lied, one flew though my window. I was lucky my cat showed It's true form and revealed It was a vampire hunter.
 
personally i find were wolfs and zombies more worrying, keep a wooden stake under your bed and forget about the vamps.
 
badgerbaiter said:
put pictures of vampires on the windows.. the vampires will think its their reflection and come to the conclusion they arent vampires after all
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Works for me :thumbs:















Bossoms

nearly as good a word as moist :nuts:
 
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