Thats life!

Cobra

In Memoriam. TPer Emeritus
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A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers: "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!"

You're Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-café.

We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy to a stiffy and then your Mom agreed to do a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,
and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-up appeared and said:

"You've Got Male"

..................................................

A little boy walks into his parent’s room to see his
mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mom quickly dismounts, worried about what her son
has seen, dress's quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and dad
doing?"
The mother replies, "Well, your dad has a big tummy
and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time." says the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled?
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes
over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up!"


.......................................................................

One day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.

On the next day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll
give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed.

On the next day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this,I will give you a life span of sixty years. "The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.

Then on the next day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave
back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it" So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you



 
Oh and I forgot to thank Cobra for brightening my day up with these. :lol:

Now, they are familiar to an old chap like myself and possibly very new and fresh to a young whippersnapper like you but that's not a problem for me at all young sire.

Keep up the good work Mr Cobra. :clap:
 
Absolutely bloody marvelous, especially No 1, brilliant.
 
I like the last one! :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
:lol:

very good mate:thumbs:
 
:lol: :lol:
 
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