Tell me your best 'put downs'

Them: "That's a nice camera."

Me: "Thank's, you want to hold it?...

Them: Sure

...I just nicked it from them cage fighters over there, they seem to be looking right at you."

:D
 
I had a guy with his 30 something old son stand next to me at Donna Nook once and he just looked at me and said "they're brilliant these new cameras, they take great shots don't they? You can't get it wrong".
I had it set to manual and just twiddled a couple of knobs and said "there you go. Have a go."
He declined.

My wife and staff keep mumbling something about Doc Martin. I take that as a compliment.

Kev.
 
Tirpitz said:
i don't generally get pestered. perhaps i dont look friendly enough :shrug:

4512568796_21121a19ce.jpg
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Who would of thought my most viewed pic on tp would be this one?:lol: He does look a bit scary mind,but not really:love:Have to say we dont get bothered with Tirpitz around:thumbs:
 
funny fact about that pic above is the person who took it was actually peeping out of a bunker at the time :lol:


actually i was stopped by a small group of people on Gunwharf Quays last weekend who thrust a little silver compact that had the name of a pocket calculator on it :shrug: in my hands asking if i'd take a couple of them with the Spinnaker Tower in the background. considering i only had to point it at them & push the button it wasn't that easy as i had to frame using the tiny screen that was worse than useless in the bright sunlight, the lens had such a tiny angle of view i couldn't really get much in (from what i could see :shrug:) & the shutter delay was epic to say the least!
when i first pushed it i thought it was broken as nothing happened, well not until i moved the camera to look at it when there was a feeble beep & a pretend motor wind noise :cuckoo: Pic1 - the floor :shake:
i spent the next few minutes holding it still & waiting for the beep & hopefully got them something usable. they have about 6 to choose from :lol:
it certainly makes you appreciate the speed of a DSLR release or even my way more responsive LX3 that i had been thinking felt kinda toy like lately in comparison. well its all relative as the LX3 is poles apart from that little silver box :thumbs:
so i must start taking it out more again:thumbs:
plus its ideal for street candids as nobodys ever gonna see it in my shovel hands :lol:
 
From ding76uk

"I'm only fat because every time I F*** your mum she gives me a biscuit" :D:D:D

Now I've got to clean the coffee from my keyboard

Toonie
 
Howabout, yeah i've got a 400mm, it's great for scoping out kids in the playground...
 
Crikey there are some miserable uptight people out there!

Why would you get annoyed by someone saying 'nice camera'? :shrug:
 
My pet-hate is when on a job, one of the subjeccts will come forward and say something along the lines of "Hey, you know what would make a good photo...?" and then proceed to outline some completely hare-brained and impractical idea that would result in a mediocre (at best) image even if it could be achieved...

Well guess what? I do know what makes a good photograph, because I'm a photographer...

Oh and the best put-down I've found is:

"Army! Stop or I shoot!"

Closely followed by:
Bang!-bang!....bang!...
 
Nothing to do with cameras, but I was stopped on my motorbike the other day by a quite attractive WPC. I got off the bit but had a little trouble as I've torn tendons in my foot from a rugby tour weekend (wasn't playing, I fell over in the mud whilst photographing :bang: )

Any how, WPC says "Are you staggering?" possibly thinking I'd been drinking

Me: "I certainly hope you think so because you're very attractive..."

Luckily she laughed, but refused the offer of a photography session.
 
At my daughter's school nativity play last year I pulled my 5D2 (with 70-200 mounted) out of my camera bag and attached the 580EX2 to the top. A couple of other Dad's sat behind me started taking the p**s making comments like "what you want is a big camera mate" etc.

I kept a dignified silence and rattled off a decent number of shots during the procedings while they did the same on a compact and iPhone (complete with fake shutter sounds). At the end I heard one say to the other that all his shots were blurry and the reply saying his was fine but his kid was too far away.

This was a cue a mammoth chimping session from me (making sure they could see the LCD) along with a audible comment to my wife that I was more than happy with the shots. Strangely they didn't have any further comments....
 
grum said:
So rather than taking it as friendly banter you decided to turn it into a points scoring exercise? Well done. :cuckoo:
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Steady tiger.

They were taking the p**s. I was getting on with what I was doing. I had the last laugh.

Criticism of me might be warranted if I had started by taking the 'p' out of their gear. I didn't though, couldn't of cared less about it.
 
On the seafront at Blackpool, taking photos of the beached ferry, Riverdance. I had the 70-200 on the camera, with the lens hood on...

Local, complete with open can of lager, showing off to his mates: "F****** hell, look at the f****** size of that f****** lens... is it a f****** telescope or f****** what?"

Me: "No, it's a brain scanner... and it's not detected any yet..." :D
 
grum said:
So rather than taking it as friendly banter you decided to turn it into a points scoring exercise? Well done. :cuckoo:
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I think the :cuckoo: belongs to you!
ChrisJ_SLH said:
Steady tiger.

They were taking the p**s. I was getting on with what I was doing. I had the last laugh.

Criticism of me might be warranted if I had started by taking the 'p' out of their gear. I didn't though, couldn't of cared less about it.
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well played :thumbs:
 
no idea what sort of camera it is, i just nicked it off the bloke over there with the black eye.
 
George Square Glasgow, 11pm I'm wandering across the square with a bag and tripod and a 5D round my neck.

Nice chap asks "are you not afraid wandering around here at this time of night with that?"

Me.. "Nope.. I may be 5'3" and blonde but this tripod weighs a bit and has some very tasty spikes on it. If anyone fancies their luck then good on 'em. They can pick their own teeth up"

We had a good chuckle and I was quite glad of the company. :)
 
Arkady said:
My pet-hate is when on a job, one of the subjeccts will come forward and say something along the lines of "Hey, you know what would make a good photo...?" and then proceed to outline some completely hare-brained and impractical idea that would result in a mediocre (at best) image even if it could be achieved...

Well guess what? I do know what makes a good photograph, because I'm a photographer...

Oh and the best put-down I've found is:

"Army! Stop or I shoot!"

Closely followed by:
Bang!-bang!....bang!...
Click to expand...

A double tap with a follow up tends to put most things down.........permanently;)
 
I ignore them. They never try to touch my gear, but their kids sometimes put a hand out. NO shouted at full volume usually works then parents get the message and leave, with brats in tow. If they did touch anything then one of us would need an ambulance.
 
Tirpitz said:
funny fact about that pic above is the person who took it was actually peeping out of a bunker at the time :lol:


actually i was stopped by a small group of people on Gunwharf Quays last weekend who thrust a little silver compact that had the name of a pocket calculator on it :shrug: in my hands asking if i'd take a couple of them with the Spinnaker Tower in the background. considering i only had to point it at them & push the button it wasn't that easy as i had to frame using the tiny screen that was worse than useless in the bright sunlight, the lens had such a tiny angle of view i couldn't really get much in (from what i could see :shrug:) & the shutter delay was epic to say the least!
when i first pushed it i thought it was broken as nothing happened, well not until i moved the camera to look at it when there was a feeble beep & a pretend motor wind noise :cuckoo: Pic1 - the floor :shake:
i spent the next few minutes holding it still & waiting for the beep & hopefully got them something usable. they have about 6 to choose from :lol:
it certainly makes you appreciate the speed of a DSLR release or even my way more responsive LX3 that i had been thinking felt kinda toy like lately in comparison. well its all relative as the LX3 is poles apart from that little silver box :thumbs:
so i must start taking it out more again:thumbs:
plus its ideal for street candids as nobodys ever gonna see it in my shovel hands :lol:
Click to expand...

I had a similar story on our honeymoon last year. We'd wondered down the Vegas sign for a couple of typical touristy photos. DSLR on gorrilapod looking up at us, the sign with our hotel in the background.

A couple of women then asked for me to take their photo with a P&S which I did but with the glare from the sign it was useless, tried again, same result. Showed them the photo and said they weren't very good, would you like me to take a couple with mine and email them to you?

They jumped at the chance. 2 photos taken, 1 email address taken and they thrust $20 into my wife's hand as I refused it.

You could make a killing standing there doing that as I had another 3 groups approach me straight after. Couldn't do it though as we were on our way to a helicopter flight :)
 
ok more about idiots here.

I have had a girl tell me her point and shoot was better than my 1d because it had more megapixels.

Another lass try and tell me her 350D was the better version of a 30D because it had more letters.

And best of all when I was shooting a particular shot I had been asked to take in a venue some ****ed up lass tell me that 'well that photos going to be crap isnt it'

upon asking her why and getting some nonsense in response I meerly asked her where she works, so I could come into her place of work on monday not having any idea about what she was doing and point out that she is doing it wrong and generally get in the way. :D
 
philipJvernon said:
I think Billy Connolly says it best -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q41eoZXDb64
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:agree: Love that :lol:

Thanks for all your answers, there's some good amusing replies, too many to reply to each one. Its a shame some people felt that it was a serious thread and got a little up tight, but maybe after reading all the replies they might get their sense of humour back and enjoy a smile with the rest of us :).
Cheers guys :thumbs::thumbs:
 
Trev4 said:
Do you think your maybe being a little serious about a light hearted thread thats meant to give us a chance to add some humour to our lives :)
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Sorry Trev, maybe I'm just reading it wrong, been a long week. Maybe it's just me....

Spiritflier said:
Aww, come on Pat... That's a bit uncalled for! ;)

It's a light-hearted thread and I daresay we've all had at least one numpty come up to us when we've been out.
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They may be numpties but because 90% of my shooting is done on company time I really do have to bite my tongue and be professional. I get endless "How much is that worth?", "That's a big one!" (my zoom, not my.....) and long-winded conversations about cameras with people who own a 300D but I have to be seen to be polite. Sorry, that's just me...:):thumbs:

*(I do have a sense of humour BTW - I must have to put up with numpty editors, crap service station coffee and 1300-mile weeks with all the aggressive BMW-driving rep so-and-sos;))
 
dont get bothered that much myself.
16 stone of me, with grey hair and a large beard, earings and tattoo's probably helps there.
the odd curious togger, who i'll natter to if i have the time.
kids tend to get the offer of a size ten steel toe cap up the asre if they get too nosey
attempts to touch camera gear often gets a harsh expletive or two in their direction..
 
I've had a similar situation when taking pics of old buildings.

one person came up to me and said "thats a pretty big camera" and I said "well thats a pretty big building" to that they left :D
 
gingerjon said:
Reading this makes you realise why most people think photographers are weirdos best avoided.
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Clearly they find real life way too hard without a 'Report Post' icon to click as soon as they imagine they might be offended.
 
Ask them if they understand phonetics.

Foxtrot Oscar
 
Trev4 said:
:agree: Love that :lol:

Thanks for all your answers, there's some good amusing replies, too many to reply to each one. Its a shame some people felt that it was a serious thread and got a little up tight, but maybe after reading all the replies they might get their sense of humour back and enjoy a smile with the rest of us :).
Cheers guys :thumbs::thumbs:
Click to expand...

We're the uptight ones? Riiiiiiiiiiight... :wave:
 
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