Stuck at home and need some entertainment - tell me something funny!

[whooshdemon]

As title really. And don't mention the pretty snow as I'm on crutches and can't afford to risk a slide on ice because my knee has been b*ggered for 9 weeks already.

So something amusing please.... I'll start - quote from Eddie Izzard
"Darwin wrote a book titled monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, YOU!"

Hey, I'm housebound. Best I could do. Help me!

 

[Jamesbuk]

I was in Tesco and I saw a guy off Crimewatch who is wanted for several rapes.
I tackled him to the ground and punched him unconscious.
The police arrived and arrested me.
Apparently they use actors on the show.

 

[ChrisMClark]

I was in Tesco and I saw a guy off Crimewatch who is wanted for several rapes.
I tackled him to the ground and punched him unconscious.
The police arrived and arrested me.
Apparently they use actors on the show.

That's freakin great, I'm laughing my ass off. It's actually going to fall off I'm laughing that much

 

[whooshdemon]

I was in Tesco and I saw a guy off Crimewatch who is wanted for several rapes.
I tackled him to the ground and punched him unconscious.
The police arrived and arrested me.
Apparently they use actors on the show.

That is superb - and certainly made me lol for real!

 

[ChrisMClark]

OK, my ass is on the floor now. That really tickled me lol

 

[Ian D J]

How about this snow-related cartoon then? (I did it for another internet forum but I think it won't look out of place here). I drew it about an hour ago.

 

[whooshdemon]

How about this snow-related cartoon then? (I did it for another internet forum but I think it won't look out of place here). I drew it about an hour ago.

Superb - you're a very talented chappie!
I honestly didn't people could make pictures without a camera

 

[Cobra]

Great cartoon Ian

I too happened to be in tesco's and as I ran my Items through the checkout
the woman said, I bet you live on your own
Very astute I said

Was it the pint of milk that gave it away?
No she said

Was it the micro-wave dinner for one then?
no she said

The single toothbrush perhaps
No she said.

Ok I said I give up how did you know?
because your such an ugly ****er she said

 

[whooshdemon]

Great cartoon Ian

I too happened to be in tesco's and as I ran my Items through the checkout
the woman said, I bet you live on your own
Very astute I said

Was it the pint of milk that gave it away?
No she said

Was it the micro-wave dinner for one then?
no she said

The single toothbrush perhaps
No she said.

Ok I said I give up how did you know?
because your such an ugly ****er she said

Sweet

Of course the key giveaway is the lack of alcohol - alcohol as we all know, has been helping ugly people get laid for thousands of years!
(Rohypnol has a lot of catching up to do!)

Cheers!

 

[Ewan]

How about this snow-related cartoon then? (I did it for another internet forum but I think it won't look out of place here). I drew it about an hour ago.

That's some epic post-processing!

 

[Matt Sayle]

Altzheimers protest march..........

"What do we want?"
"We dont know"
"When do we want it?"
"Want what?"

 

[whooshdemon]

Altzheimers protest march..........

"What do we want?"
"We dont know"
"When do we want it?"
"Want what?"

Liking that!
What was it again?
Oh. Where are my slippers?