Errr... seriously?! "Time to leave it and move on?" Are you really going there? Let's just walk through the chronology of this thread, shall we? I'm just back from a very long day at work and I'm not tired, so I've enjoyed trawling through this thread in a bit more detail (warning: this post is a long one, but I reckon it'll be worth sticking with)...
Hour 0 (Tue 10am-ish) - I post the OP, admitting to answering back and asking for views on whether either of the road users was acting reasonably (me or her)
Hour 1 (Tue 11am-ish) - Post #2 by me (but 15th post on the thread overall) reconfirming me losing my rag a bit and me stating "the country roads are for all users and it's about being responsible on them" oh, and the thoroughly unbalanced "Good points pretty much across the board." which included people claiming I'm not necessarily in the right
Nearly hour 2 (Tue 12pm-ish) - Post #3 by me (but 23rd post on the thread) - something of a non-post explaining I usually reverse back to a passing place as I'm used to meeting horses on single-track roads as well (sounds like utterly inconsiderate behaviour by me, there)...
Followed by your first post, which presumes to be able to judge the road layout, the weather conditions at that time, the visibility, the height of the hedgerows, my car's braking ability and all other relevant factors that allow you to determine without qualification that, "yes 40mph is too fast". But it's ok because you drive on country lanes every day on the way to work.
Nearly hour 3 (Tue 1pm-ish) - Post #4 by me (but 31st post on the thread) I reply to your post specifically addressing your presumption that 40mph was definitively, without question, too fast. That's right: in your view, not knowing the road, the conditions or any other fact relevant to the matter. I pretty much make this observation (in what I think is quite a polite way) and thank you for your views. To help you understand the conditions (since you weren't there) I spend a bit of time explaining what the conditions, road etc. was like. Of course, you're right to note that this is just my "version of events" - it could well have been snowing for three weeks, with the road covered in ice and thick fog everywhere as far as the horserider was concerned, but I'm actually going to go out on a bit of a limb here and say the weather and road layout was actually the same for both of us.
Still hour 3 - Post #5 by me (34th overall) a response to fabs explaining a bit more about what was happening, who was where etc. and - this might help you assess the road - a map of pretty much the location of the incident (give or take)
Still in hour 3 post #6 by me (36th overall) with me making excuses for her as to why she might have had more cause to be angry and the fact that I regretted rising to her aggression. I'm really starting to sound unbalanced aren't I?
Hour 4-ish (nearly 2pm) - post #2 by you making some spurious link about me being "on the brakes" coming out of the corner - which I wasn't and pretty sure I never said I was. You then use these points to deduce I would have been going even faster earlier in the bend.
Still hour 4-ish (after 2pm) - posts #7 & 8 by me (out of 43 in total by that point) correcting your misunderstanding about how I drive through corners which could be read as something of a driving lesson if one didn't realise that's simply the correct way of entering and exiting a corner (all else being equal). I then go on to witter on about trolley rage and stuff - unrelated to the OP. And then a quick follow-up post #9 about having seen some people lose it behind the steering wheel/handlebars - I think a lot of people have been in a car with someone when they've gone a bit road-ragey... it's not nice.
Your third post then just after 2:30 (still hour 4 give or take) suggesting I should just consider driving defensively, which is - I have to say - excellent advice for everyone including me and something which people should really do as a matter of course. (Gold star for that one)
I reply (post #10) explaining I felt was driving defensively, then I try to ... what was the phrase, "leave it and move on" as you put it by writing, "But anyway, it's been an interesting discussion - not sure I'm really any the wiser and hopefully I won't come across a similar incident for another 20 years or more." I think that's a pretty clear, `we're not going to agree, shall we just drop it?'
So, ten posts by me in my 50 post thread at that point, over the course of four or so hours. Not exactly me going frantic or posting particularly furiously. My take on that is I'm responding to people in a fairly balanced way and continuing to interact (otherwise what's the point of the forum) but by this point, I've had enough feedback that she certainly overreacted and I shouldn't have risen to it. I could have driven slower (or faster) but a fair few people seem to think that the fact I stopped comfortably suggests I probably wasn't driving unreasonably fast for the conditions. A bit of a discussion and not 100% clear cut, but I'm pretty happy that I wasn't so out of order than I need to rethink my whole outlook on life or anything.
Then Fabs kindly posts that his wife and he spoke about it and makes an observation about the rider's behaviour possibly being a bit odd. I reply a few hours later and thank him and his wife for discussing and him posting that. I then make a remark about whether the abusive rider might have been an instructor. This post (#11 by me out of 58 posts thus far) was when the thread digressed into talking about all manner of random road-related stuff. And some other very important matters such as rights of way in the meat aisle in Waitrose. Basically the stereotypical PR thread which manages a page or so then goes awol. During these following 24 hours I post a couple of times making observations about particularly bad driving I've observed - pretty black & white stuff like speeding outside a school, doing 40 in a 30 zone and some silly comments about electric shock seats. Clear traits of an unhinged and clinically obsessed individual, I'm sure
Paul,like I said we've only got your version of events and what you consider to be safe! The horse rider obviously didn't think so did she? As for being unhinged and clinically obsessed I do wonder what your diatribe indicates about you. All I said was drive defensively on country roads and you'll be safe and so will everybody else.
So then we get to Wednesday at 11pm - hour 34 (that's right, really quite a long time after all of my comments on the subject of the OP). Your final post which rather randomly quotes a post by
@LASTOLITE, then my thank you post to
@fabs and ends with the text at the top of this post which I've quoted. Suggesting I "leave it and move on." So can I ask you whether you think jumping back onto this otherwise dead thread 30 hours after my post which basically said, "thanks, let's drop it" suggesting I do precisely that is a bit... well... strange?
In my experience (to use your terminology), people only start a phrase with "with all due respect" when they're about to do the absolute opposite. You're quite right that we only have my version of events, but I've endeavoured at each turn to give a balanced assessment of what I could/should/might have done and even tried to consider why the rider might have had other cause to be aggressive. Or do you think there's a sane reason why I might instead have spent my own time concocting an alternate reality of this situation - one in which I've painted my own actions as saintly and then sought others' views? I hope people don't think I'm that crazy?! The reason I posted the OP in the first place was to establish whether I was possibly careless and should modify my behaviour - thinking the one area I should definitely address in future is not rising to it next time.
We have a host of balanced (and some less balanced) views coming through, which is helpful - and for which I'm grateful and in many cases I've said thank you (including to those who didn't necessarily agree with me). Then we have you claiming that "40mph is too fast", definitively, without basis and then implicitly suggesting (my reading - it may not have been your intention) that I could perhaps have painted a deliberately false picture of the scenario to garner some sort of sad, narcissistic "you're the dude" affirmation from people. But I guess that's offset by me apparently making "wonderfully pious remarks" about other road uses (not sure where they are, to be honest - I think complaining about speeding outside schools and doing 10+ mph above the limit in a 30 zone is pretty fair criticism). How does that work? Does one post of piety offset one post of narcissism? I'm not sure, but maybe in your eyes I'm close to evening things out...
As I said at the beginning... seriously?!
So, why have I gone to all this trouble to write this post?
Frankly - and I don't think you're going to like me saying this - it's because behaviour like yours isn't, in my opinion, healthy in promoting discussion and participation on this or any forum. Your last post came out-of-the-blue after over 24 hours having elapsed with no mention of the OP by me at all (oh, and barely a post by me in it since then - just others chattering away about mostly random stuff). This out-of-the-blue post by you then had the gall to tell me to "leave it and move on"! That was the icing on the cake of a post which was basically just an excuse to launch a rather randomly-timed attack at me for reasons only you might know.
Of course, you could have - and still can - apologise for jumping to a false conclusion that 40mph is definitively too fast for that (or any such) country road - irrespective of whether you have any facts to support that assessment. You're also welcome to apologise for misreading my posts and somehow deducing that I was "on the brakes" exiting the bend when I wasn't which then led to another stream of critique from you. And if you really want to push the boat out, you're welcome to apologise for your final post in its entirety. But somehow, I fear none of those apologies are going to be forthcoming.
Unless... Just if... Go on... restore my faith in the internet being a place where nice friendly people can have nice friendly discussions... Here, I'll even give you a peace offering
again! as I approach a 30 just set the limiter, simple really think all new cars should have them.
