Social Anxiety.

KellyJ

KellyJ

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Not sure whether this is in the right place but I thought some of you may be interested in my most recent blog post. I've basically put myself "out there" and written a short blog about how photography helped me in overcoming my social anxiety disorder.

I'm sure there will be plenty of other people on this forum who have suffered or still suffer with the same thing and hopefully will be able to appreciate my post.

Does anyone here suffer with Social Anxiety, or have done so in the past? How does it affect your photography work? Has photography helped you in any way?
 
I suffer from serious social anxiety, It came on only a few years ago. I used to be very outgoing, and even worked as a doorman in busy nightclubs. Now I can never go out in crowded areas, I barely use the phone and never call anyone, I struggle very badly with dealing with strangers or talking to anyone new. If I am stuck in a lift with a few people I start to get panic attacks and if they talk to me, I feel very awkward inside and have to fight the urge to freak out.

Its a very nasty condition and affects your way of life, even getting a job (I had to leave a factory job because I had panic attacks all the time) I find it hard to go outside and prefer being indoors out of the way. I have seen doctors about it therapists and was even asked to join a group therapy session which was impossible to deal with.

People who do not understand it think you are ignoring them, being rude or think you are better than them if you don't call them, come out to drinks when invited or talk when they decide to strike up a conversation, but its just a case that you feel very uncomfortable and awkward to socialise & just want to escape it all.
 
archamedes said:
I suffer from serious social anxiety, It came on only a few years ago. I used to be very outgoing, and even worked as a doorman in busy nightclubs. Now I can never go out in crowded areas, I barely use the phone and never call anyone, I struggle very badly with dealing with strangers or talking to anyone new. If I am stuck in a lift with a few people I start to get panic attacks and if they talk to me, I feel very awkward inside and have to fight the urge to freak out.

Its a very nasty condition and affects your way of life, even getting a job (I had to leave a factory job because I had panic attacks all the time) I find it hard to go outside and prefer being indoors out of the way. I have seen doctors about it therapists and was even asked to join a group therapy session which was impossible to deal with.

People who do not understand it think you are ignoring them, being rude or think you are better than them if you don't call them, come out to drinks when invited or talk when they decide to strike up a conversation, but its just a case that you feel very uncomfortable and awkward to socialise & just want to escape it all.
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I'm very sorry to hear this :( and yes it can be very difficult to get people to understand, and it's not something that many people are aware of if they don't have it themselves. I hope something works for you, have you tried exposure therapy at all? I can understand why you wouldn't want to do group therapy, I'd imagine that would be quite scary.
 
I suffered severe depression including panic attacks and paranoia. It's a horrid place to be. The starting point is to let yourself off the hook, don't be hard on yourself and realise its a common condition that can get better!
I used to go out in the small hours and use photography as a way of getting out and relaxing.

I'm now a portrait photographer mixing with people all the time!

There is hope!
 
Stevenuth said:
I suffered severe depression including panic attacks and paranoia. It's a horrid place to be. The starting point is to let yourself off the hook, don't be hard on yourself and realise its a common condition that can get better!
I used to go out in the small hours and use photography as a way of getting out and relaxing.

I'm now a portrait photographer mixing with people all the time!

There is hope!
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I'm so pleased for you, this is awesome! :D
 
Is there a specific day or event that triggered this behaviour?
 
Laudrup said:
Is there a specific day or event that triggered this behaviour?
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That triggered the Social Anxiety?

For some people yes, trauma can cause it, or it can be genetic.
I'm assuming mine was genetic because I suffered with SA from the age of about 2 or 3, nothing significant started it.
 
KellyJ said:
I'm very sorry to hear this :( and yes it can be very difficult to get people to understand, and it's not something that many people are aware of if they don't have it themselves. I hope something works for you, have you tried exposure therapy at all? I can understand why you wouldn't want to do group therapy, I'd imagine that would be quite scary.
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Yes A lot of people find it hard that I have it, but most of the time if I have to deal with people I put on a happy face, yet inside I am freaking out, I will then go home and spend the evening on my own calming down.

One of my friends told me to "snap out of it." I then told him that its not a bloody cold, you can't just snap out of something like this, just as you cant tell someone suffering with schitzophrenia to stop listening to the voices and get on with their lives like normal people.

I am about to start a new one soon I believe it is exposure therapy, but I'm on a waiting list, the doctor didn't go into too many details as its run by someone outside the nhs
 
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archamedes said:
Yes A lot of people find it hard that I have it, but most of the time if I have to deal with people I put on a happy face, yet inside I am freaking out, I will then go home and spend the evening on my own calming down.

One of my friends told me to "snap out of it." I then told him that its not a bloody cold, you can't just snap out of something like this, just as you cant tell someone suffering with schitzophrenia to stop listening to the voices and get on with their lives like normal people.
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Exactly, it's not as easy as that is it :/ It takes a lot of hard work, and that's not often easy to get started when you're crippled by fear.
 
archamedes said:
I am about to start a new one soon I believe it is exposure therapy, but I'm on a waiting list, the doctor didn't go into too many details as its run by someone outside the nhs
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I wish you every bit of luck with it, I'm sure if it involves at least some exposure therapy that it will help you quite a lot.
 
I suspect it's different for everyone.

For me it was a gradual build up, over may years, of a variety of factors.

The symptoms themselves crept up gradually, hardly noticed. The first time, it wasn't until I suddenly realised that, for about 6 months, I had hardly been out the house and was hiding from the postman. At that moment, I don't know how, I managed to change it.

The second time I noticed it much sooner and went straight to my GP.

7 1/2 years of analytical psychotherapy later I can at least recognise it and manage it to a greater or lesser degree.

Photography is part of that management process for me. But then I have to be careful about obsession.

It's far more complex and subtle than that, but that's the gist.
 
I know. I find the internet an escape, its the only place I can openly talk and truly be normal. I hide behind humor and jokes, its my way of trying to connect and communicate.

The fear of confrontation is horrible and sometimes it even affects me online. if I am in the middle of a debate be it on facebook or on a forum, I sometimes refuse to come back and check any replies just in case someone is having a dig or degrading me because they don't agree with what I said. I mean it really shouldn't bother me, especially if its someone I do not even know or have never met, its just text on a screen, it can't hurt you, but I try to avoid confrontation even online if possible. Its crazy because its not who i used to be, I would never let anything or anyone bother me and crowds or strangers never used to be an issue.

Its also embarresing when the wife has to deal with all incoming calls or she has to deal with the car insurance or bank stuff. She is set up to talk on my behalf of everything we have an account with
 
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I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks as well, have done for the past 11/12 years.

It's horrible, those who have not experienced it can't understand the irrational nature of it. For me it's big groups and the desperate fear that something really really bad is going to happen to me that I can't control, it affected me at gcse level to the point where I didn't attend 50% of my exams and consequently failed pretty much everything. It stopped me going to college or university and has had a huge impact on my life.

I've tried everything, I've seen a psychotherapist, a hypnotist, a behavioral therapist, the lot. I take beta blockers and citalopram everyday to keep it in check. If I forget to take them, psychologically I cannot think about anything else for fear of something happening.

It's not overly pleasant.

I go through patches where I don't have any problems for a month or so then just out of the blue bang it's back and back to square one!

Nick
 
I think the only way to explain it to someone is if you ask a woman when her baby is due and she says "I'm not pregnant." While her angry boyfriend gives you the evil eye. That awkwardness that comes with dropping your foot in it like that is how I feel all the time when being put in social or group situations

edit: Just to add, I have been thinking of bringing this issue up here many times over, but was worried how people would react to it
 
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What does the doctor do, prescribe diazepam or something involving interaction?
 
Laudrup said:
What does the doctor do, prescribe diazepam or something involving interaction?
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It very much depends on the doctor.

Some tend to reach for the chemicals a little too quickly for my liking.

My doctor immediately referred me to mental health services, but gave me Anafranil, then Seroxat, to see me through. He made it very clear this was only a stop-gap measure and I should come off them as soon as possible.

I think I was lucky with my doctor.
 
Laudrup said:
What does the doctor do, prescribe diazepam or something involving interaction?
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It all depends on the individual and the doctor, and obviously what treatments are available in the area or country of the individual.

Personally I've had 9 years of Cognotive Behaviour and Exposure Therapy with different therapists as well as various medications. The medications never worked for me, but finding the right therapy helped me huge amounts.
 
Just want to say I hugely admire all those who have been brave enough to speak up on this thread. Good luck to you all and I hope you find ways to move forward.
 
I suffered with anxiety and panic attacks for a few years after an aggravated robbery at my home. I could never leave the house without panic attacks and hot sweats, I also massively suffered with depression and stress. I found concentrating on photography not only helped me through it but also changed my perspective on life, sounds deep but it's true :).

Well done everyone on this thread, it's not easy speaking out.

Matt
 
I have a fear of illness, a completely rational idea that I'll get seriously unwell in (and only in) public that left me housebound for 3 years. Then I actually got seriously physically sick and had to spend weeks in hospital.

It's a weird situation, thanks to my medication and my physical illness my agoraphobia is being kept held back but that comes with the negatives of my illness and the side effects of my medications. It's a strange situation to be in but it's not all negative and I think I can use it to help myself. The greatest revelation I found was the idea that i'll never be who I was before social anxiety - I will always have this fear but that's ok, I can't hide from it, so I might aswell just let it happen and continue to move forward.

More to the point in your blog - I completely agree with the points you made about being able to hide behind a viewfinder, detatch yourself from the world around, focus on composing the shot. The other thing, especially with SA, I found was how good it felt looking back at an image and having visual proof you were actually in a social situation and you coped. Weirdly enough I was talking to a mental health charity about a camera club to help people get back out there. Not just agoraphobia/SA but people needing help recovering from any mental health issue. Only discussed it as a concept a few months ago but it's something i'm seriously considering setting up. But it's interesting to hear of people on the internet who have experienced the same motivation and positives a camera can give. Keep us updated!
 
KellyJ said:
Not sure whether this is in the right place but I thought some of you may be interested in my most recent blog post. I've basically put myself "out there" and written a short blog about how photography helped me in overcoming my social anxiety disorder.
Click to expand...

Great blog post Kel, beautifully written and explained :thumbs:

I guess for all my life I've probably experienced some form of this type of anxiety, but have never particularly understood or done much about it. :)
 
Micehorns said:
Weirdly enough I was talking to a mental health charity about a camera club to help people get back out there. Not just agoraphobia/SA but people needing help recovering from any mental health issue. Only discussed it as a concept a few months ago but it's something i'm seriously considering setting up.
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That's a fantastic idea.

Do let us know if you go ahead with it.
 
Micehorns said:
I have a fear of illness, a completely rational idea that I'll get seriously unwell in (and only in) public that left me housebound for 3 years. Then I actually got seriously physically sick and had to spend weeks in hospital.

It's a weird situation, thanks to my medication and my physical illness my agoraphobia is being kept held back but that comes with the negatives of my illness and the side effects of my medications. It's a strange situation to be in but it's not all negative and I think I can use it to help myself. The greatest revelation I found was the idea that i'll never be who I was before social anxiety - I will always have this fear but that's ok, I can't hide from it, so I might aswell just let it happen and continue to move forward.

More to the point in your blog - I completely agree with the points you made about being able to hide behind a viewfinder, detatch yourself from the world around, focus on composing the shot. The other thing, especially with SA, I found was how good it felt looking back at an image and having visual proof you were actually in a social situation and you coped. Weirdly enough I was talking to a mental health charity about a camera club to help people get back out there. Not just agoraphobia/SA but people needing help recovering from any mental health issue. Only discussed it as a concept a few months ago but it's something i'm seriously considering setting up. But it's interesting to hear of people on the internet who have experienced the same motivation and positives a camera can give. Keep us updated!
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That's a great idea :D Having a hobby to bring you all together would be a great ice breaker and you'd probably learn a lot from each other.

wibbly said:
Great blog post Kel, beautifully written and explained :thumbs:

I guess for all my life I've probably experienced some form of this type of anxiety, but have never particularly understood or done much about it. :)
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Thankyou very much :)

I think the important thing is to make sure you're able to live your life without major interruption, if that's not the case then it's best to do something about it or at least consider trying something.
 
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