Seen as you all have missed my jokes so much....

Matt Sayle

2017MSA Young Photographer of the Year(Motorsport)
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin , orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender says to him, “You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

The Irishman replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together.”

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars” in the bar notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss.”

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then the light dawns in his eye and he laughs.



“Oh, no,” he says, “Everyone is fine. It's me........I've quit drinking!”
 
That one is probabley older than me and I am sure I have posted it so Yep
I will take the blame for that one :thumbs:
 
On a similar note...

An American walks into a pub in Ireland and says to the assembled drinkers "I heard that all youse Irish were big drinkers. I think that's a load of horsesh*t. I'll give $100 to anyone who can line up 12 pints of guinness and down them without stopping"

The pub is silent for a moment, then little Paddy pipes up from the corner "Oi'll have a go, but you'll have to wait a few minutes" Wherupon he disappears out the door. Ten minutes later, he's back and says to the American "Set them up"

The barman lines up the 12 pints on the bar and little Paddy goes down the line and finishes the lot.

The American gives Paddy the $100 and says "That was mighty impressive son, but where did you disappear to?" Paddy replies "Well I was pretty sure I could do it, but I just went to the pub over the road and had a practice run first"
 
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