Really! Is there any real need?

archangel

archangel

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Mike
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I touched on this subject in the WAMT thread earlier but unbelievably I have had a belly full of people with bad manners.......is there any real need to fart or belch in someone else's company never mind their airspace....... I am sitting in a cafe trying to enjoy a stress buster coffee when the man at the next table not only belches out loud, he also tilts slightly on his hip and a fart can be heard.....WTF....:mad: and it smells.......a complete ignorant $€¥«......

Don't get me wrong we all pass wind but is there any need to subject someone else to your bodily functions.......and it seems more people are finding it acceptable to subject others to their bad manners and smell.......:mad:
 
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I love the way you choose to use the word belch but then go on to say fart.

I guess some people can't help let the odd burp or fart slip but I think it's a bit inconsiderate to force out a full on rattler in a public place.

That said I'd rather hear a loud one that didn't smell than get caught up in the smell of a silent one.

Strange how many people laugh when they hear a fart but few laugh at the smell.
 
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Just waiting for the re-incarnation ghost of Scrivens to appear.......
 
I reckon the equal to 'belch' is 'break wind' :whistle:

my Nan used to say 'letting Polly out of prison' :LOL:

My kids say 'trump'
 
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A fart is like success - only your own smells good. :hug:
 
Botty burp :)
 
Windy pop
air biscuit
drop ones guts
trouser cough

I broke wind in the lift this morning, it was wrong on so many levels.
 
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In Answer to the OP's question. I don't think there is a need. Annoys the hell out of me at work when that is all you can here from some of the staff at break times. It is manners to excuse yourself and go out of the room and or to the bathroom.

It is a bit like the guys at work stripping to their boxer shorts in the locker room in front of the females it is not on. (has been addressed but still they do it)

Manners maketh Man (sp)..
 
Little Johnny: "Miss, Miss, can I ask you a question please Miss?"

Teacher: "Yes Johnny, what is it?"

Little Johnny: "When you fart Miss do you get lumps in your pants?"

Teacher: "No Johnny!"

Little Johnny: "Well in that case Miss I think I have sh!t my pants"
 
Well, I'm under doctor's orders not to hold farts in for any longer than necessary since it can cause my diverticulosis to escalate to diverticulitis - not fun. I generally get away from people before releasing but sometimes can't. Fortunately, the product is rarely an olfactory assault, just aural!
 
When I was a lad, mi mates Mam once past out in church 'holding in' a fart and they had to call an ambulance.

I have no idea whether there was any underlying medical problem that caused it but, it didn't matter where she was after that, she'd let rip ;)
 
Phil-D said:
When I was a lad, mi mates Mam once past out in church 'holding in' a fart and they had to call an ambulance.

I have no idea whether there was any underlying medical problem that caused it but, it didn't matter where she was after that, she'd let rip ;)
Click to expand...

i rather suspect the passing out was unconnected, but it makes for a good story.
 
ancient_mariner said:
i rather suspect the passing out was unconnected, but it makes for a good story.
Click to expand...

I must just attract cryptic replies :thinking: .....unlike me you must be medically trained so I have no idea whether connected or not
shrug2.gif


And if saying ' makes for a good story' means you doubt what I say, just call mi a lier, I'm thick skinned :p
 
I dunno I love a good fart and the sound makes me laff
 
And never waste wood... (©Billy Connoly IIRC!)
 
Nod said:
Well, I'm under doctor's orders not to hold farts in for any longer than necessary since it can cause my diverticulosis to escalate to diverticulitis - not fun. I generally get away from people before releasing but sometimes can't. Fortunately, the product is rarely an olfactory assault, just aural!
Click to expand...

I have Ulcerative colitis. Before being diagnosed I spent 2 years being unable to fart without sitting on the loo. After being diagnosed and symptoms being under control. I can fart........And by god can I fart...
 
Whats the difference between an old carpet and a good fart???

You can beat an old carpet but you can't --------------
 
While we are on the crappy Jokes,
What's this difference between a poor marksman
and a constipated Owl?
A poor marksman, shoots but can't hit.
A constipated owl Hoots but cant .....
 
mattyg said:
I have Ulcerative colitis. Before being diagnosed I spent 2 years being unable to fart without sitting on the loo. After being diagnosed and symptoms being under control. I can fart........And by god can I fart...
Click to expand...

Way to much info :facepalm::facepalm:
 
Phil-D said:
When I was a lad, mi mates Mam once past out in church 'holding in' a fart and they had to call an ambulance.

I have no idea whether there was any underlying medical problem that caused it but, it didn't matter where she was after that, she'd let rip ;)
Click to expand...


Wherever you be let your wind blow free, In church or chapel let rattle.
 
We used to have a guy in the office who every break time would get the most vile smelling kebab mixes he could and lash them with tons of garlic sauce and chilli sauce ,then sit there afterwards having a cup of coffee and letting rip with some evil farts ,on a daily basis .
We hatched a cunning plan and for two days running his coffee was laced with a full packet of ex lax a day ,about a hour after the second day meal ,he shouted he needed the toilet desperately in case anyone was in there ,there wasn't anyone in there at all neither was there any light bulbs (no windows either) nor any toilet paper ,we stopped short of cling filming the seat but it was a option for a while :exit:
 
But did it cure him? ;)
 
Whats the difference between your freezer and a fanny?

You freezer doesn't fart when you pull your meat out
 
Cobra said:
While we are on the crappy Jokes,.
Click to expand...
Are we? Good show.

What's the difference between a randy admiral in the Swiss navy
and an efficient Vacuum cleaner?
One sucks and never fails...
 
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