Quirky phrases

arclight

Oooh that burglar's a cutie
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1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

17. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

18. Ever wonder about those people who spend £2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:

19. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that 1 out of 5 enjoys it?

20. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?

21. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the door?
 
If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?
 
If buttercups are yellow, are hiccups burple?

97% of all statistics are made-up
 
My favourite:

If an orange is called an orange because it's orange....

Why isn't a lemon called a yellow?

:thinking:
 
Why is there a light in the fridge but not the freezer?

Who was the first person to see a cow and think "I'm going to pull those dangly things underneath it and drink what comes out"

Who was the first person to look at a chicken and think "I'm going to eat the next thing to come out of it"

and my fav...

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? :lol:
 
Why is there only one monopolies commission.
 
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

They probably got to 19, with all the intention of having all these unique words then thought 'sod it....twenty, twenty-one' etc :D
 
They probably got to 19, with all the intention of having all these unique words then thought 'sod it....twenty, twenty-one' etc :D

That's what hiring cowboys does, bloody shody workmanship :D
 
could a half wit work part time for nasa

and do you need a silencer to shoot a mime artist
 
Politician's Law of Debate : Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
 
Why is word ‘dyslexia’ used when some many dyslexics cannot spell it ?
 
Where does your lap go when you stand up?
 
Statisticly 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape :coat:
 
Thread Killer /\ /\ /\ /\

Has anyone ever tried the dogs b*ll*x and found them to be better than everything else??
 
Has anyone ever tried the dogs b*ll*x and found them to be better than everything else??

NO! they are the best thing since sliced bread :thumbs: :D
 
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