"Pushy Wedding Photographers"

[Sir SR]

This is what my friend said she hated most about weddings. "Pose here, hang around there, stop the festivities/stop me getting a drink/talking to the guests"

I was at a wedding on Friday night with a couple of friends. We had just got there (evening guests as I had been on nights with no chance of getting out of them), got a bottle of fizz and were sitting down having a little catch up

This comment came after three of us were moved from a table to then be posed and have a couple of pics taken.

Just wondering what people consider to be pushy.

I didn't think it was too bad as I'm sure the bride just wanted pics of everybody important to her. My mates point was that they could have got some candid pics without interrupting us?

Thoughts?

S

 

[swanseamale47]

While your just having a night out the photographers working, in many cases the only way to get people, many of who may well have been drinking all day (and are rat-arsed) to do what you want is to be a 'bit pushy'.

 

[Sir SR]

While your just having a night out the photographers working, in many cases the only way to get people, many of who may well have been drinking all day (and are rat-arsed) to do what you want is to be a 'bit pushy'.

I had sympathy with the photographer, as I thought my mate was a little harsh, but she thinks that you should instantly be able to forget the photographer (bit like a ref officiating an important match)

I remember nearly a decade ago a close friend being asked by the wedding photographer to kneel on wet grass in her wedding dress as it would look good. He was somewhat affronted when she (im)politely refused as she didn't want to get her dress filthy!

S

 

[andya700]

While your just having a night out the photographers working, in many cases the only way to get people, many of who may well have been drinking all day (and are rat-arsed) to do what you want is to be a 'bit pushy'.

Exactly, and as guests at the wedding, the bride and groom come first, the photographer is there to make their day as memorable as possible, so the guests should have a bit of consideration and just go along with it.

 

[andya700]

I had sympathy with the photographer, as I thought my mate was a little harsh, but she thinks that you should instantly be able to forget the photographer (bit like a ref officiating an important match)
S

A bit inconsiderate, considering that she is going along to an event which the B & G have splashed out a lot of money on. I guess that she thinks, once you are in the door, just neck as much alcohol as possible and treat it as another day/evening/night out?

 

[andya700]

We recently attended a wedding, where the photographer was using another room, to take all the required "set" photos - groups of guests, relations, all the B & G shots. One of the ladies had compiled a very organised list, of who would fit in where.
Nobody complained and we all loved it.
The photographer was very organised and had a great sense of humour as well.

 

[Moos3h]

I really hate intrusive photography in situations like this and would never like to think I was 'getting in the way' or in any way negatively influencing the events of the day.

The trouble is, there are some weddings where as a 'tog you actually DO have to push it along a little or nothing would get done in terms of hitting the meal at the right time!

I like the idea of anything posed happening away from the general melee and I always get the ushers to help me out with marshalling people in if needed!

 

[Flightphoto]

See this quite often when I'm doing weddings, it's usually the men that are cocks to be honest. I tell them straight that I'm there to document the day, as they are guests they have been provided with a free meal so enjoy the day and let me get on with my job! (I say this a little bit more polite than that) but it's usually some old git with a pint in hand that has nothing better to moan about. No matter what, there's always a few at a wedding that aren't there for the B&G, I've heard several women in the past criticise the B&G and say how rubbish the wedding is but yet they attend and soak up the free booze - it just doesn't make sense!

 

[Alastair]

If the photographer doesn't get the shots, who's going to be pushy then?

Although speaking to someone this week who's helping their daughter plan her wedding for next year, they've been very proactive with the photographer in choosing what shots they want at the end of the day. She's decided that they don't want a lot of formal shots, just the traditional minimum for parents, grandparents and to frame for the wall. She's specified that the guest shots should be informal or candid, with the photographer responding to the guests rather than vice versa. Low impact wedding photography that won't get in the way of the memories or the good time.

 

[buckas]

Yup, don't get the shots without a bit of gob

 

[Flightphoto]

After all, we're snobby types who charge far too much and live in the Bahamas most of the year (this is quoted from a blonde tart who said such to me a few weeks ago).

 

[DavidMartin]

After all, we're snobby types who charge far too much and live in the Bahamas most of the year (this is quoted from a blonde tart who said such to me a few weeks ago).

Lol wedding togs just pop back Saturdays to make their fortune

 

[Flightphoto]

Exactly mate! I work out a new reply every week, I usually come out with something to the lines of 'Well someone's got to take a decent photo of your ugly mug'

 

[PMN]

I tell them straight that I'm there to document the day, as they are guests they have been provided with a free meal so enjoy the day and let me get on with my job!

You say to wedding guests they've had a free meal so leave you alone to shove a camera in their face? Really? If I say to a photographer I don't want my photo taken then unless I'm outside in a public area I expect that to be respected, end of.

 

[Flightphoto]

Paul, it's upto the B&G as to what's required, yes a lot of people don't like their photo being taken but the B&G would like to have a photo to show who attended etc as let's face it, we're not here forever are we?
And what do you mean by shove a camera in someone's face that's what a long prime is there for, then you're not intrusive

 

[Spiritflier]

...so leave you alone to shove a camera in their face? Really...

If a bride and groom ask me to make sure I get a shot of EVERYONE, then whether they like it or not, I'm going to take everyone's picture!

Having said that, I wouldn't necessarily 'shove a camera in their face' as you so delicately put it! Tact and diplomacy go a long way! :shake:

 

[PMN]

If a bride and groom ask me to make sure I get a shot of EVERYONE, then whether they like it or not, I'm going to take everyone's picture!

I wouldn't mind as long as it isn't intrusive but anyone, and I mean anyone, ordering me to have my photo taken would get told to stick it. If I don't want my photo taken then that's my decision to make, not yours.

I'm not actually saying I wouldn't want my photo taken, I'm more saying how intensely I dislike the apparent attitude of 'this is my job and I'm going to get it done regardless of whether I annoy people'. That's a terrible attitude in my book.

Paul, it's upto the B&G as to what's required

If someone flatly refuses to be in a photo I'm fairly sure the vast majority of brides and grooms would respect their wishes. It may be a disappointment, but considering said person is probably a close friend or family member I doubt it would cause a huge problem in most cases. Plus I'm fairly sure the bride and groom wouldn't want an overly pushy photographer going round upsetting their guests.

And what do you mean by shove a camera in someone's face that's what a long prime is there for, then you're not intrusive

If you're not being intrusive then fine, my problem is with photographers demanding they take a photo of you. I have a general dislike of pushy people in any walk of life, that view doesn't change when I'm at weddings.

 

[Spiritflier]

...I'm not actually saying I wouldn't want my photo taken, I'm more saying how intensely I dislike the apparent attitude of 'this is my job and I'm going to get it done regardless of whether I annoy people'. That's a terrible attitude in my book...

If I do my job right at a wedding, you would never know I'd taken your picture! If you copped an attitude with me (which some guests do), then I'd take great delight in making sure I got the shot regardless.

I shot a family wedding not long ago and my future grandmother-in-law flatly refused to let me take her picture because she said that; "nobody's going to steal my soul". I pointed out that she had to have one in the first place before I could steal it!

I take exception to the suggestion that you think anyone would 'shove a camera in someone's face' and quite frankly, it's saddening to read that sort of remark from a fellow photographer!

Good wedding photography is 90% people skills and 10% photography skills... Most of the wedding photographers I know would be mindful of the sensibilities of the guests anyway.

 

[Flightphoto]

Besides, most think we're a bunch of p***'s with large camera lenses so surely we're good with stealth, hiding in bushes etc

 

[PMN]

If you copped an attitude with me

I'd only "cop an attitude" with you if you were in my face or otherwise making a pain in the ass of yourself, in which case I'd have every right to do so.

I'd take great delight in making sure I got the shot regardless.

Again, if you weren't being intrusive that's fine.

I take exception to the suggestion that you think anyone would 'shove a camera in someone's face' and quite frankly, it's saddening to read that sort of remark from a fellow photographer!

Oh come on, really? You should know perfectly well I'm not aiming this at every wedding photographer out there, if you're not one of the intrusive annoying people then you have absolutely no reason to be offended beyond wanting to be!

I shot a family wedding not long ago and my future grandmother-in-law flatly refused to let me take her picture because she said that; "nobody's going to steal my soul". I pointed out that she had to have one in the first place before I could steal it!

 

[Phil V]

I wouldn't mind as long as it isn't intrusive but anyone, and I mean anyone, ordering me to have my photo taken would get told to stick it. If I don't want my photo taken then that's my decision to make, not yours.

I'm not actually saying I wouldn't want my photo taken, I'm more saying how intensely I dislike the apparent attitude of 'this is my job and I'm going to get it done regardless of whether I annoy people'. That's a terrible attitude in my book.

...

Woah Trigger!!

That's a gross misunderstanding and you're aiming your ire in the wrong place :nono:. If we're expected to get a photo of everyone at the wedding, that's not something we just made up. If you want to impolitely tell someone where to shove their camera, take it up with the person who issued the orders (usually the bride, maybe her mum, maybe the groom ). Frankly they invited you to their wedding, if you don't want to play by their rules, then stay at home:razz:

Personally I never get asked to pose everyone during the reception, we shoot what's happening. And as I would like to fill the product with happy relaxed people enjoying themselves, you've probably got no need to worry about me bothering you

 

[PMN]

If you want to impolitely tell someone where to shove their camera, take it up with the person who issued the orders

I think you've perhaps misunderstood me, I don't randomly go telling people to stick their cameras where the sun don't shine! I was purely referring to an implied attitude of photographers doing whatever it takes to get a photo regardless if whether it means annoying people. Someone would have to be extremely rude or intrusive to me first for me to react like that!

 

[Sir SR]

A bit inconsiderate, considering that she is going along to an event which the B & G have splashed out a lot of money on. I guess that she thinks, once you are in the door, just neck as much alcohol as possible and treat it as another day/evening/night out?

I think you misunderstand. I think she meant that the memorable bit about the day shouldn't be the photographer - you're watching a footie game and you're talking about the game not the ref.

S

 

[Phil V]

I think you've perhaps misunderstood me, I don't randomly go telling people to stick their cameras where the sun don't shine! I was purely referring to an implied attitude of photographers doing whatever it takes to get a photo regardless if whether it means annoying people. Someone would have to be extremely rude or intrusive to me first for me to react like that!

And you missed my point completely:

If you're a guest at a wedding and a photographer is trying to take posed pictures of you, it's not him 'doing whatever it takes even if it means annoying people', he's following the wishes of his customers. He'd rather be off shooting people who make his life easier.

I have never met a photographer who enjoyed shooting people who don't want their picture taking. Believe me, if they're having to work to get you to play ball, it's not an ego trip, it's following a brief.

 

[andya700]

And you missed my point completely:

If you're a guest at a wedding and a photographer is trying to take posed pictures of you, it's not him 'doing whatever it takes even if it means annoying people', he's following the wishes of his customers. He'd rather be off shooting people who make his life easier.

I have never met a photographer who enjoyed shooting people who don't want their picture taking. Believe me, if they're having to work to get you to play ball, it's not an ego trip, it's following a brief.

Couldn't agree more.

 

[andya700]

I think you misunderstand. I think she meant that the memorable bit about the day shouldn't be the photographer - you're watching a footie game and you're talking about the game not the ref.

S

You still don't get it.
It is about the bride and groom and their big day, not about the guests who want to do whatever pleases them.
It is about consideration and good manners.

 

[Llamaman]

If the guest has so little consideration for the B&G's wishes they shouldn't have accepted the invite.

 

[Sir SR]

You still don't get it.
It is about the bride and groom and their big day, not about the guests who want to do whatever pleases them.
It is about consideration and good manners.

Please read my quote and entire post. I do get it.

"I" didn't think the photographer was unreasonable. The manner in which it was done stuck in my friend's mind. She did in fact say that she understood why but didn't like the how. For clarity, she was not drunk, had not long arrived for the evening do and was sat in a drawing room off the main room. She felt that a candid shot could have been taken just as easily. Also she didn't make a fuss, spent a few minutes being posed and then back as she was before.

I guess she prefers the more candid reportage style but as friend of the bride and groom went along with it without fuss (just a moan to me after!) as its what the B&G had paid for.

It just made me want to stimulate a little discussion as to what people thought was pushy!

In my mind I'm sure the bride and groom want lovely pics but not at the expense of making some of the guests feel funny about it.

How do you think the B&G would feel if when they asked people if they had a good time celebrating the wedding with them, they replied "great wedding but really didn't like the pushy wedding photographer!"?

As somebody said, maybe the 90%people skills weren't there in my friends eye. To me it was fine.

S

 

[fracster]

Last two weddings I have been to, the photographer has been ignorant, insolent, incompetent, inept and downright rude.

I was not photographing them I hasten to add.

 

[PMN]

And you missed my point completely

Last two weddings I have been to, the photographer has been ignorant, insolent, incompetent, inept and downright rude.

This, Phil, is what I'm talking about. I can't do with rude pushy people in any walk of life, what makes you think I'll suddenly accept it at a wedding? If you think I should then fine, you're entitled to your opinion. We simply won't agree though.

 

[Jayst84]

Yea, some people are tactless and lacking in social skills and the ability to read situations. Some of those people also happen to have jobs as wedding photographers.

 

[Phil V]

This, Phil, is what I'm talking about. I can't do with rude pushy people in any walk of life, what makes you think I'll suddenly accept it at a wedding? If you think I should then fine, you're entitled to your opinion. We simply won't agree though.

It's not unusual, I'll bet none of us likes pushy people
I don't expect you to accept it, I wouldn't expect anyone to accept it. However; that also ignores the elephant in the room. The whole premise is subjective:

...

"I" didn't think the photographer was unreasonable. The manner in which it was done stuck in my friend's mind. She did in fact say that she understood why but didn't like the how.

One persons "happy go lucky" is someone elses "annoying git"! Some peoples assured and confidant is someone elses cocky, is it pushy or assertive, etc. etc.

Like I said, you'd be unusual if you liked pushy people, but what we see as pushy is where we will differ.

There's also the issue of preconceptions; as you might have guessed, as a wedding photographer I tend to be very light touch (unless the B&G demand differently) and I tend to shoot less than a dozen group shots at most weddings. Yet I still overhear people complaining about the length of time they're 'going to be' stood around waiting (I'm usually done in 15 mins, more than half the gusts are usually dismissed to the bar in 5). Will it stop those people whinging the next time they arrive at a wedding? I'll bet it doesn't.