public abuse

Some of these brightened my night, some I've used myself. Telephone calls get answered with a Hello, if then I get a response I don't want I just put the phone down and leave it for a while, people in the street get" Do you want to pay my parking ticket?" and I keep going, if they want to walk and talk, I can walk and ignore.
 
Telesales calls get handed to my two year old grandson he's loves to talk to people on the phone.

The God squad recently asked if I'd found Jesus to which I replied well if you've lost him I ain't helping you look for him again it took hours last time I helped you lot to find him.

People that ask me if I've got any spare change normaly get told yes I have thank you as I continue to walk past.

People that ask me if I will give them a cigarette get pointed towards the nearest newsagents as they have loads of them in there if you give them some cash then the will give you a packet.

My credit card company used to phone me to chat about my account they would start by asking me a few security questions and I would always refuse to answer them as I never give out personal security information over the phone used to drive them mad.

Door to door sales people get asked for their ID so that I can call their office and confirm that they are who they say they are, they get left on the doorstep while I make a cup of tea etc, when I return I hand back their ID and tell them thanks but I'm not intrested thank you then close the door in their face.
 
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Cracking thread :lol:

But this one really reminded me...

Lynton said:
classic. We had some electricity co round the other night to sell us electricity.

"um, thanks but I already have some."
"are you happy with it?"
"yep., Ecstatic. Look I press this switch, it gets dark. I press it again and it gets light."
"well ours is better."
"Better?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"um....."
"Look this is instantaneous. Who did you say you were from again?"
"E-on"
"Do you have a database of existing customers?"
"I dunno."
"Well find out, and when yuo find out, check to see if this address is on it."
"Errr........."

Shut door.
Click to expand...

I had a guy from British Gas at the door about 2 years ago. Same kinda conversation ensued, followed by the guy (I had to admire his persistence) telling me he could save me 15% on my gas and electric bills.

Invited him in, went through the blurb, told him what I currently pay etc etc, all the time making sure I was getting my 15 percent off.

He looked rather vexed and beat a hasty retreat when he asked me to sign the paperwork to 'switch'.

'Switch?' say I....'why would I switch...I already get my gas AND electric from yourselves, but now im getting it 15% cheaper...so thanks for that'.


Fair play though..I got the discount, as promised :thumbs:
 
I will never forget the line my old teacher told us that she used on all doorstep sales people that being "my dog can make it to the gate in 3.5 seconds how quick can you do it?"

I did once threaten a caller at the house with a prosecution for trespass on my property, we made the error of having a double glazing sales man round last year in the end the only way to get him to leave was to tell him that I was going to physically remove him from my house or call the police

A farm where I go fishing had a great sign "every third sales rep is shot, the second has just left"

Matt
MWHCVT
 
Cambridge is a nightmare for "punt touts"

In the summer you can hardly walk down the road without being accosted and "invited" to go punting
The rival companies get a bit stroppy with each other and there were a few fights last year.
 
I just get my staff to tell that that I'm dead.
A few months ago:

caller: Is Mr Shore available?
Staff: No he's dead.
caller: Sorry?
Staff: he hung himself this afternoon.
caller: So I can't speak to him then?
Staff: Well no, not really. He's Dead!!
caller: hangs up.

The girls in the office don't like saying it though. :shrug: :D


Kev.
 
tijuana taxi said:
Cambridge is a nightmare for "punt touts"

In the summer you can hardly walk down the road without being accosted and "invited" to go punting
The rival companies get a bit stroppy with each other and there were a few fights last year.
Click to expand...

This normally sorts the puggers out:

http://www.talkphotography.co.uk/forums/showpost.php?p=3379488&postcount=41

but I didn't mind them too much as traditionally it was a way for undergrads to top their grant up.

The $&*£$ers that really get to me are the bloody language school students that cycle on the sodding pavements all the time.

I find that ever so slightly annoying! :D
 
tijuana taxi said:
Cambridge is a nightmare for "punt touts"

In the summer you can hardly walk down the road without being accosted and "invited" to go punting
The rival companies get a bit stroppy with each other and there were a few fights last year.
Click to expand...

Ah yes....

I have had more than one "chat" with those fine upstanding gentlemen of Cambridge..........

;)

:thumbs:
 
Got a few calls regarding kitchens and offered a free kitchen if I let people in to view it.
this happened everynight at 6pm.Tea Time.
eventually asked the sales person to pass me over to her superior.
superior said she would remove me from the call list as i was not interested.
next night !!!!guess what??? do you want a free kitchen......
asked for supervisor again and then as her to pass me over to the manager, by the way was called Colin.....
Told him if they didnt stop harassing me that i was going to take them to court.
His reply" surely you wouldnt go to all that expense"
my reply....."no expense involved as I am a Lawer and i do my own stuff for free and by the way I have taped all our conversations... "...............Silence followed by I will get your name removed straight away...never heard from them again


Have used this a couple of times since and it works a treat....
 
A girl knocked on the door the other day whilst I was watching the We Were Soldiers Bluray. It was at the bit near the end where the japs are getting the bejeebus kicked out of them by Snake in his chopper.

Anyway, I opened the door and her first words were " Good morning, do you ever think there will be world peace?"
I looked at her and smiled then opened the door a little further to reveal the TV and the mayhem and gore that was ensuing.

You hear of people going white as sheet, but I'd never seen it happen. Until then.

Fairplay to her, she just said " excuse me" and left.


Another I had a few years ago, was pretty cool too. I was trying to dig out a massive stump from the front garden after I'd chopped a tree down, and these two immaculately dressed young guys in suits walked up to me and asked If I would like to talk about God.
I said I was kinda busy, but I'd glady talk if they helped me with the stump.

They both took off thier jackets, rolled thier sleeves up and one took the axe and another the mattock. They gave it a bloody good try and when they took a rest I said..
"So About this Allah fellow then"...

They didnt look impressed bless them.
 
TCR4x4 said:
They both took off thier jackets, rolled thier sleeves up and one took the axe and another the mattock. They gave it a bloody good try and when they took a rest I said..
"So About this Allah fellow then"...

They didnt look impressed bless them.
Click to expand...

serious kudos to those men. You wouldn't get an anglian or zenith windows canvasser doing that, even though i dont believe in religion or any of that, i would have actually given them the time to say what they had to just for actually stepping up and helping when they had no obligation to
 
Sales attack teams on the street? Just grow a beard, have tattoos, wear offensive Tshirts and look evil.
They dont bother you then.
Works for me.
As for door knockers.
hang on to your HUGE alsatian husky hybrid monster by the collar while he barks at em.
they ALWAYS back away as you say "not interested dude"
 
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inaneredstripe said:
Just grow a beard, have tattoos, wear offensive Tshirts and look evil.
They dont bother you then.
Works for me.
Click to expand...


i remember a friend of mine who opened the door to a bunch of jehova witnesses, while wearing a t shirt sayin "up with aborton down with teen pregnancy" i think he sealed the deal without having to say anything
 
"Anyway what car are you driving?"
"I'm not. I'm talking to you, and we're still trying to establish whether it gets dark there at night. Do you have bats there?"

.....

"you want be registration number?. It's Gulfstream Cookaburra Zero Nine Giraffe Rhinocerous Skyscaper"
Click to expand...

:lol:
 
Chuggers really grind my gears. I'll be polite to them or even crack a joke "kids charity? sodding hate them mate" and carry on walking. But I did have one once call me a t**t and he soon legged it and another actually physically tried to stop me while I was in a rush. I just gave him a brief overview of what would happen to his arm and he let me get on my way.

I'm a grumpy sod :(
 
inaneredstripe said:
As for door knockers.
hang on to your HUGE alsatian husky hybrid monster by the collar while he barks at em.
they ALWAYS back away as you say "not interested dude"
Click to expand...

Yep, that works too, Although I dont let them see him. His bark is much bigger then he is! In fact often I open the door and they are right down the end of the pathway behind the brick wall!



Sebbe in the snow by TCR4x4, on Flickr​
 
the latest thing now is getting people to part with their cash for the civil unrest in Egypt. I would help, however i feel its another pyramid scheme
 
just before xmas i had real bad food poisoning and was not in the best of moods because of it.

my day consisted of many trips to the loo so the missus took the kids out.

they were gone for awhile when the phone rang ( OH GREAT )
so i gets up answers it and its some lady from some consumer survey place.

she said do yo mind if i ask u a few questions
me,, well yeah im suffering with food poisoning
her,, oh thats not nice, well it wont take long
me,,what ever.
her blah blah blah
me,, hang on i gotta go to the loo got the runs, u wanna go or hold
her,, um i guess i will hold

anyway done me thing and she was still going on , i then said to her look i got a problem i cant hold me phone and whipe, i will put u down , whipe and be back

i could not beleive it when i picked up the phone and she was still there and she said feel better now

still makes me laugh
 
Just another quick one for those in business just say "sorry I can't any information under the Data Protection Act about my suppliers or customers". Stops them dead.

Realspeed
 
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